10 year old won't sleep alone

10 year old won't sleep alone

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Going Crazy

Brownsville, TN

#1 Jan 4, 2010
How do you get a 10 year old girl to sleep alone? I'm about to be married to a woman who's daughter has always slept with her. Well from the time she was six months old anyway. She slept in between mom AND dad until they divorced when she was 4. Now when her mom insists she sleeps in her own room she throws fits all night long. Is there any legitimate advice out there?
SMOKEY

Hillview, KY

#2 Jan 5, 2010
When she goes to sleep, move her to her own bed. Or get her to sleep in her own bed by lying down in her bed. Sorry best bet was not to start that at all the begin with. Good luck!
megan

Elizabethtown, KY

#3 Jan 5, 2010
Omg i feel your pain! my son is 8 and hes still in bed with me and my husband and we cant get him out! we tried to stay in his room with him until he falls asleep but sometime in the middle of the night he sneeks back in our bed everytime,ive tried EVERYTHING so if you come up with a sucsessful plan PLEASE let me know
mom

Canton, OH

#4 Jan 5, 2010
The child needs tough love.... Put her in her bed and tell her not to come out... It wil take her a while but she will fall asleep, after a week of doing this she will go to bed by herself.
Susan

Shepherdsville, KY

#5 Jan 5, 2010
mom wrote:
The child needs tough love.... Put her in her bed and tell her not to come out... It wil take her a while but she will fall asleep, after a week of doing this she will go to bed by herself.
I agree. It is a habit mom should not have started but its not something that can't be fixed. The change should be made before the marriage because if it all happens at the same time, the child is going to feel the step dad pushed her out. Get it done before he moves in so she won't resent him so much.
name

Canton, OH

#6 Jan 6, 2010
i agree
Dixie

Auburn, KY

#7 Jan 6, 2010
I had the same problem with my daughter. You need to sit down and have a long talk with her. Tell her that she is way too old to be sleeping with you. Plan a date with her that she is super excited about and go to build-a-bear workshop. She can make her own bear and this can be her new sleeping partner. Tell her that if all her friends found out that she was still sleeping with mommy that they would make fun of her. Start a calendar with all the nights that she sleeps by her self and reward her. Maybe reward her with a mother daughter date to the movies or a night in the bed with you, the possiblities are endless. I hope that I helped a little!
mom

Canton, OH

#8 Jan 6, 2010
Dixie wrote:
I had the same problem with my daughter. You need to sit down and have a long talk with her. Tell her that she is way too old to be sleeping with you. Plan a date with her that she is super excited about and go to build-a-bear workshop. She can make her own bear and this can be her new sleeping partner. Tell her that if all her friends found out that she was still sleeping with mommy that they would make fun of her. Start a calendar with all the nights that she sleeps by her self and reward her. Maybe reward her with a mother daughter date to the movies or a night in the bed with you, the possiblities are endless. I hope that I helped a little!
I don't think we should give rewards for a child doing what he/she should already be doing... I would stick with you are 10 and it is time to be a big girl....
patty

Richmond, ky

#9 Jan 6, 2010
Going Crazy wrote:
How do you get a 10 year old girl to sleep alone? I'm about to be married to a woman who's daughter has always slept with her. Well from the time she was six months old anyway. She slept in between mom AND dad until they divorced when she was 4. Now when her mom insists she sleeps in her own room she throws fits all night long. Is there any legitimate advice out there?
I would also make sure that this is dealt with before your marriage, so that the transition with her mom remarrying is not even more confusing since she is ousted at the same time.
Dont allow it

Lewisburg, KY

#10 Jan 8, 2010
You shouldn't allow your step-daughter to sleep in your bed. It just opens up a can of worms and the first time your wife's ex husband gets mad or wants custody, he'll bring up how unhealthy it is. You may even find yourself being accused of things you didn't do if you get my drift....I would postpone the wedding til your fiance takes care of it. Offer her your help but let her do it.
Kerry

Sherwood Park, Canada

#11 Jan 8, 2010
I'm not a mom, but I know for a fact, that I cannot sleep alone. I'm afraid. I am 10 years old, I want to sleep alone! My mom lives with me and says how perfect everyone else is. She makes me feel worse, and guilty. I don't like it. I try. My best advise is to put her into her own bed, tell her in the middle of the night, no sooner than 4:00 you can come in if your afraid.
Susan

Shepherdsville, KY

#12 Jan 9, 2010
Dont allow it wrote:
You shouldn't allow your step-daughter to sleep in your bed. It just opens up a can of worms and the first time your wife's ex husband gets mad or wants custody, he'll bring up how unhealthy it is. You may even find yourself being accused of things you didn't do if you get my drift....I would postpone the wedding til your fiance takes care of it. Offer her your help but let her do it.
I agree, this is something this guy should think about. There may not be anything at all going on but you are right, if somebody in the family gets upset over the least thing, this will come up. Its just not a place for kids, in the parents bed, especially when they are old enough to wonder what is going on.
nasty

Leitchfield, KY

#13 Jan 9, 2010
reward them with a night in bed with you? that's not helping the situation. the kid is way too old for that, it's bordering on child abuse.
Dixie wrote:
I had the same problem with my daughter. You need to sit down and have a long talk with her. Tell her that she is way too old to be sleeping with you. Plan a date with her that she is super excited about and go to build-a-bear workshop. She can make her own bear and this can be her new sleeping partner. Tell her that if all her friends found out that she was still sleeping with mommy that they would make fun of her. Start a calendar with all the nights that she sleeps by her self and reward her. Maybe reward her with a mother daughter date to the movies or a night in the bed with you, the possiblities are endless. I hope that I helped a little!
Someone else

Canton, OH

#14 Jan 11, 2010
Who is in charge here? The adult should tell the 10 year old what to do. Geez.
Ben Franklin

United States

#15 Jan 11, 2010
Why, when people try using topix for good reasons, there are those demented individuals whom, have to give immature advise. Of course the child shouldn't be sleeping in the same bed, as mom. Tough love is the only course of action, and it will probably hurt mom more, from the crying. But she will be doing the right thing. This will prevent the child from being insecure when growing up, and give her independence.
Also, the other parent I am sure is aware of the sleeping problem, and can help. Parents are a unit. Together your problem will be solved.....
And for the people using scare tactics, get your mind out of the gutter. This isn't a peta-file blog. It's how to get a ten yearold to sleep in there own bed.
Dont allow it

Lewisburg, KY

#16 Jan 11, 2010
Ben Franklin wrote:
Why, when people try using topix for good reasons, there are those demented individuals whom, have to give immature advise. Of course the child shouldn't be sleeping in the same bed, as mom. Tough love is the only course of action, and it will probably hurt mom more, from the crying. But she will be doing the right thing. This will prevent the child from being insecure when growing up, and give her independence.
Also, the other parent I am sure is aware of the sleeping problem, and can help. Parents are a unit. Together your problem will be solved.....
And for the people using scare tactics, get your mind out of the gutter. This isn't a peta-file blog. It's how to get a ten yearold to sleep in there own bed.
Dude, can you not comprehend what you read? No one used scare tactics. I was just pointing out something that the original poster may not have considered. Get over yourself.
Marigold

Shepherdsville, KY

#17 Jan 11, 2010
Ben Franklin wrote:
Why, when people try using topix for good reasons, there are those demented individuals whom, have to give immature advise. Of course the child shouldn't be sleeping in the same bed, as mom. Tough love is the only course of action, and it will probably hurt mom more, from the crying. But she will be doing the right thing. This will prevent the child from being insecure when growing up, and give her independence.
Also, the other parent I am sure is aware of the sleeping problem, and can help. Parents are a unit. Together your problem will be solved.....In a perfect world, you are right but if you think parents don't and won't use something like this when one is upset with the other, you are living in some other world. That's not a scare tactic, thats just reality.
And for the people using scare tactics, get your mind out of the gutter. This isn't a peta-file blog. It's how to get a ten yearold to sleep in there own bed.
In a perfect world, parents would always work together for the good of the child but if you think for one minute that parents don't and won't use something like this against the other one when they get upset, you are living in another world. The fact that the parents aren't together any longer is good evidence that they aren't too good at working out problems. Thats not a scare tactic, its just reality.
Going Crazy

Brownsville, TN

#18 Jan 12, 2010
Thanks for the advice. Just saying when the kids at her dads she sleeps on a cot at the foot of dads and step moms bed. Not because she don't have a room and bed but because she won't sleep in it. I hear step moms not to happy with the arrangement. They been married under 2 years and is cutting in on their time. My fiancÚ has tried tough love and thrown the kids a$$ in her room to stay but she comes out screaming. She's tried rewarding but that was a joke. I'm beginning to think it's sick. Has anyone experienced it to this measure?
Barstow

bowling green, ky

#19 Jan 12, 2010
Well, unfortunately, this is one of those situations that you usually tackle when a child is a toddler and you can make them actually stay in their room.

Since it has been left so long, I would find other ways to motivate her, like for every five nights in a row that she sleeps in her own room she gets X privilege.

A month in her own room and she gets Y.

If she can't be motivated in that way and can't be controlled just by laying down the law, then it is time to see a therapist because there is some other reason this is going on.
Tuff Love

Bowling Green, KY

#20 Jan 12, 2010
Sounds like you might want to try teaming up with step mom....? It would probably be easier if all parents were on the same page and could enforce the same rules. But you've got to get it under control.

Have you tried locking her out of your room? So what if she throws a fit. Stick to your guns. Let her throw a tantrum for 5 hours until she falls asleep in the hallway if she must.... hopefully she'll prefer the bed though. If she doesn't go to bed by the time you do.... go to bed. Lock her out. Don't let her in. YOU ARE THE ADULT.

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