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Hoping4bettern20 13

Wichita Falls, TX

#166 Dec 5, 2012
For Your Info

United States

#167 Dec 5, 2012
Wow wrote:
The children don't get the money even if it is paid directly to the 'mother'.
Case in point, to quote the OP:
"myself i havent got any money for a long time."
I'm all for child support payments, but only with accountability. I know too many people receiving these payments that use them to buy cigarettes, or pay a mortgage payment in Plano... not for clothes for the kids, or to put food on their plates.
It's CHILD SUPPORT, not free rent for you and your new loser boyfriend.
Are you A philadelphia lawyer? You think you know it all. Evidently you don't work because you are on here ALL THE TIME. You are probably a Dead Beat Dad yourself. Child support is used for Electricity, Gas,shoes,Etc, any thing to keep that child going.
Nana

Wichita Falls, TX

#168 Dec 17, 2012
The problem is with the 3.8% of contested custody cases that continue to trial and usually far beyond. The courts think of these as "high conflict" cases and literally they are, but 90% of these cases involve abusive fathers which is why they canít be settled. Male supremacist groups have developed an unspeakably cruel tactic of encouraging abusers to go after the children as a way to pressure the mother to return, punish her for leaving and avoid child support. As a result, the courts repeatedly see cases in which fathers who had little involvement with the children before the separation suddenly seeking custody, but the court system has been slow to recognize the tactic or respond to it. Judges have constantly been told that children do better with both parents in their lives but not that this is untrue if one of the parents is abusive.

In the typical case, the mother is the primary parent. She complains about the fatherís abuse and he counters by claiming alienation. Primary attachment refers to the parent who does most of the child care in the first couple of years of a childís life. If the child is separated from their primary attachment figure, the child is more likely to commit suicide, suffer depression, have low self-esteem and other harmful attributes. Children who witness domestic violence are more likely to engage in a wide range of dysfunctional behaviors when they are older and their developmental progress is interfered with. On the other hand, it is common even in intact families for parents to make negative statements about the other parent and there is no research that alienation causes long-term harm to children.

Contrary to popular myths, women rarely make false allegations of abuse so that at least 98% of a motherís allegations of abuse in custody cases are accurate. Fathers on the other hand, are 16 times more likely to make false allegations in contested custody cases than mothers. This is not because women are so much more honest, but that most fathers in custody cases are abusers using the children to maintain control of their ex-partner and they seem to believe they are entitled to use any tactics to win custody.

http://parentingnewsnetwork.com/...

So if you're a real creep and choose to be a deadbeat, use custody/vistation as a way to blackmail your spouse into giving up support.
fkfkfkfkf

United States

#169 Dec 18, 2012
Hey nana go find a job.
Nana

Wichita Falls, TX

#170 Dec 18, 2012
I think I hear a guilty dog barking...
mum

Wichita Falls, TX

#171 Oct 11, 2013
http://www.cdc.gov/ace/about.htm

More proof that "both" parents are NOT always the best choice for children - and why US Family Courts that force joint custody/visitation are one of the most dangerous places for kids' fate to be decided.

http://www.ajpmonline.org/article/PIIS0749379...

Conclusions: We found a strong graded relationship between the breadth of exposure to abuse or household dysfunction during childhood and multiple risk factors for several of the leading causes of death in adults.

Since: Aug 08

United States

#172 Oct 11, 2013
Ok I have got to speak up! I hear dead beat dad over and over its always the dads fault. Let me say this, there are just as many dead beat moms out there. I know this from expirience. I got custody of my child and was not granted Nd did not ask for child support for the first nine years. I finally went thru the AG office and requested it. I received it from time to time but not often. I worked two jobs and raised my child predominatly by myself. My child has turned out pretty good and without the assistance of the mom. I know several dads that have been in the same boat.
mum

Wichita Falls, TX

#173 Oct 11, 2013
There are a lot of deadbeat moms today - you are exactly right. It's just that most dads don't ask for or receive custody, so over 80% of custodial parents are moms.

Your child probably would have benefited from receiving regular child support. Most importantly in the amount of quality time spent with you.

But the child support issue is a problem for all custodial parents and it boils down to this - there's over $35 billion dollars in support that is unpaid. Only 1/2 of the roughly 13 million custodial parents ever receive any child support, and usually only about 1/2 of what is owed.

Custodial parents are far more likely than the non custodial parent to suffer financial hardship and about 1/4 of them have income below the poverty level.

This really means that it is ALWAYS the kids that pay when child support is not paid.
Not a dead beat dad

United States

#174 Oct 24, 2013
I pay my child support and see my kids. I also have to live with a relative, drive a shitty car, work a second job just to eat, work a third job just to take my kids out to do something fun. She sits on her ass, hasn't had a job since she was nineteen, almost 30 now, how the fuck is that fair?
mum

Wichita Falls, TX

#175 Oct 24, 2013
That just begs to ask - how much do you pay? How many kids do you have? What ages? how much time do you spend with them? How many hours are you working? What is her standard of living post divorce?

Taking care of children is a full time responsibility - and why if she is not neglecting your children do you care what she is doing? Her standard of living was/is likely effected far more than yours and I feel sure she could tell us how it's made things harder for her too. Be a man, support your children and do the best for them you can and get on with your life and quit hating her because you are paying child support.
singlemom

United States

#176 Oct 25, 2013
The ag is a joke my ex husband has not paid any child support since december 2011 and he has had a warrant out since last september and they said they cant find him. But they want me too. he works under the table. I think this system is screwed up.
mum

Wichita Falls, TX

#177 Oct 25, 2013
maybe this will help you singlemom

http://ishmael16807.org/index.html

"how the AG's office REALLY operates. Child support enforcement, child support modification, paternity, the IV-D system... the Attorney General's Office is in charge of consumer protection, enforcement of pollution laws, prosecution of state officials, etc., yet over half of its employees work for the Child Support Division ... and they STILL can't get the job done."
mum

Wichita Falls, TX

#178 Oct 25, 2013
Not a dead beat dad wrote:
I pay my child support and see my kids. I also have to live with a relative, drive a shitty car, work a second job just to eat, work a third job just to take my kids out to do something fun. She sits on her ass, hasn't had a job since she was nineteen, almost 30 now, how the fuck is that fair?
If I were to add up the cost for my time, my vehicle, wear/tear/gas,% of house payments, legal fees, medical fees, insurance, food, clothes, entertainment, school expenses, books, lessons outside school and various expenses for our one kid - there's no way that the pittance my ex should pay (but never has) would even cover 1/3. He's only hurt his children by doing this too. If he were still around, he'd spend way more than he should be paying for support. So sorry that you resent working so much - I know many people that would much rather work at a regular job than do the childcare - and raising kids alone is a super hard job.

Since: Jun 13

Aiea, HI

#179 Oct 26, 2013
I got 4 kids and I never pay my child support. Maybe if the little sh*ts would do something useful once in a while, I'd consider it. Not to mention their mom is a hoe bag anyways. I need my money to get some whiskey at Island Time Liquor. Bottoms up.
may be

Wichita Falls, TX

#180 Oct 27, 2013
It would be better for him if a millstone were hung around his neck and he were cast into the sea than that he should cause one of these little ones to sin.

Or what man is there of you, whom if his son ask bread, will he give him a stone? Or if he ask a fish, will he give him a serpent?

You will be repaid tenfold someday.
Longshot

Bowie, TX

#181 Oct 27, 2013
Damn it people please! This shit is old news! Yes there are dead beat dads and dead beat moms. There good dads and good moms. There's moms who don't even know the babies daddy and there are daddies who don't even know they are daddies. Then there are the ones that you don't know the story. Yes the AG has cons and it has it's pros. Shit just drop it!!!
bad aim

Wichita Falls, TX

#182 Oct 27, 2013
Longshot wrote:
Damn it people please! This shit is old news! Yes there are dead beat dads and dead beat moms. There good dads and good moms. There's moms who don't even know the babies daddy and there are daddies who don't even know they are daddies. Then there are the ones that you don't know the story. Yes the AG has cons and it has it's pros. Shit just drop it!!!
this affects millions of our children - you drop it! Nobody said you even needed to read the posts. This isn't about "baby daddy" stuff or the AG's office - but you've certainly shown yourself in your true light.

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