Divorce, child visitation
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Brant Lake, NY

#23 Jul 29, 2012
All I have to say is wow...I think I'll turn my printer on. Very interesting reading! I think this is over.

United States

#24 Jul 30, 2012
This sounds like this is way out of hand! You both made mistakes.......you both need to put your daughter first and leave your hatred for each other out of it!
Move on

Springfield, MA

#25 Jul 30, 2012
This will never end if both mom and dad don't let go of the past and move on. Try (I know it's hard) to act like adults.

West Roxbury, MA

#26 Aug 3, 2012
Geesh, so much emotion and Monday morning quarterbacking. When I was divorced from my first wife in 1992, we had court-ordered visitation and I had to pay $400 per week in child support for about 10 years plus rehabilitative alimony for 12 months. Although my ex did not use the child support for the kids (she is an alcoholic and a drug addict), I NEVER put the kids in the middle. I ALWAYS looked after their best interests and made sure they were taken care of. That even meant spending extra money to have extra clothes and places for them to stay at my house.

I lived three hours away from my girls, but spent every other weekend with them and broght them to my place on holiday weekends and vacations. There were times I would leave my house at 5am, drive three hours to pick them up, only to find out my plans for the day were ruined because my ex had not communicated to me or had her own ideas. The girls and I always rolled with it because the MOST important thing was we were spending time together. The day was always about us spending time together - roller skating, movies, taking them to get their hair and nails done, going to museums and parks, etc. Even now they are grown and on their own, they talk about the times we spent together like it was yesterday. It obviously meant a lot to them (and me).

My advice to everyone on this blog is to focus on your children and their needs and stop projecting your own needs, limitations, anger, frustration, etc., on them and onto the situation. Learn to separate the two and you will become a much better person. One of my favorite quotes of all time is the Serenity Prayer (no, I am NOT and addict). Take the time to read and really understand the words and you will see they apply to just about everything in life.

"God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference."

It's all about control and knowing your limitations.

One last thought - Be the example for other people that you want for yourself.


West Roxbury, MA

#27 Aug 3, 2012
I thought you all might appreciate my personal recipe for success in life:

1. No matter what you do with your life, do your absolute best. That is the true measure of success.

2. Always appreciate who you are and what you have in life and never take anyone or anything for granted. It can all be taken away in the blink of an eye.

3. Be kind to everyone and always smile; it will create opportunities (in addition to keeping them guessing!).

4. Luck is when opportunity meets preparation, so always be prepared.

5. Always take care of your mind, body and spirit, for they are all you have.

6. Be true to yourself. Never let anyone change you into something you are not.

7. Surround yourself with people who accept you for who you are and do not want you to be someone else.

8. Be the example for other people that you want for yourself.

9. Remember your manners. Say "please", "thank you", and "excuse me". Treat other people the way you want to be treated - with respect.

10. Experience life and all it has to offer. Never be afraid to try something new. This is how you stay young!

Boonville, NY

#28 Aug 5, 2012
well said My x dad kept taking me to court claiming he wanted to see his daughter but always complaining about child support.I see good dads every day drop there kids of and pick them up without all the drama,they never complain about supporting them as they would never hurt them that way.All the while my x didn't even show up for the visits he claimed to want.I sometimes wonder how he has the right to decide to be a parent a right Id never give up yet he walks away from.whining all the while about support my daughter isn't stupid she cried as he screamed at her over support and wondered why she refused to stay with him he scared the hell outta her.so to the good dads thank god for u to the bad I hope u hurt as bad as u inflict

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