why do married or engaged men masturb...

why do married or engaged men masturbate to porn

Posted in the Betsy Layne Forum

First Prev
of 13
Next Last
A curious woman

Shelbiana, KY

#1 Oct 14, 2009
I’m looking for some opinions from men and women in serious relationships...
What happened it Monday i went shopping out of town and when I got home I got on the computer and seen that my husband had been on porn and found out that he had masturbated until he was "done" I cant seem to get over this I don’t want something like this to cause conflict in our relationship but i cant move past it... It makes me think that if they would look on the computer and imagine that there cheating that they probably would. I feel like I’m not good enough for him because he thought that he had to result to other women on the internet when he knew i would be coming home. I don’t get it? Anyone have an opinion?

Since: Sep 09

Hillsboro, KY

#2 Oct 14, 2009
Be thankful that he is just setting at home masturbating to porn, rather than physically cheating on you with some hooch. It's human nature to be curious. Not a big deal to this gal.
Why jack

United States

#3 Oct 14, 2009
Something HAS to be lacking on your end, lady. A satisfied man does not need to masturbate....
carlie

Shelbiana, KY

#4 Oct 14, 2009
A curious woman wrote:
I’m looking for some opinions from men and women in serious relationships...
What happened it Monday i went shopping out of town and when I got home I got on the computer and seen that my husband had been on porn and found out that he had masturbated until he was "done" I cant seem to get over this I don’t want something like this to cause conflict in our relationship but i cant move past it... It makes me think that if they would look on the computer and imagine that there cheating that they probably would. I feel like I’m not good enough for him because he thought that he had to result to other women on the internet when he knew i would be coming home. I don’t get it? Anyone have an opinion?
I think it's just a "man thing". But, it is very hurtful to some people. Personally, It would hurt me. I would feel that what I had to offer wasn't enough. Maybe it's time for you to move on?
Skeleton In Ur Closet

Winchester, KY

#6 Oct 14, 2009
It's not just married or engaged men that masturbate to porn. Hell women do it to. God knows I do lol and hell my man keeps me MORE then satisfied..sometimes we even do it together. It's a huge turn on to watch porn with your significant other and I'm sure I'm not the only one that feels this way. Before you haters get started, you need to revert back to the old saying of, Don't Knock It Til You Try It!
Curious woman

Shelbiana, KY

#8 Oct 14, 2009
to "Skeleton in ur closet" imm not knocking it im just saying that i dont want my man to feel that he needs to masturbate when im gone. i wouldnt care if he would have included me but it was like he didnt want me to know. i just worry that im not satisifying his needs. Which is rediculus because he's only had one other person before me so he doesnt have much to compair me to and for another thing ive been told that im great in bed & sex comes kind of natural to me.. Depending on how bad i want it tho plays a big role in how good i am and lately we havent been getting along as good as in the past and i think it makes our sex not as good as it once was???? But i dont think i should be worried i think that maybe its just natural for a woman to worry when he man is trying to please his self behind her back when she's ogne down the road....
Just an Opinion

Aurora, IL

#9 Oct 14, 2009
This is a form of cheating; his way of fulfilling his fantasies with another woman. I am sure at that moment of passion if another woman were he would perform all those acts with her if she would do such & he would violate his committment to you. It's the animal in us---some people evolve more than others. Good Luck!
A curious woman wrote:
I’m looking for some opinions from men and women in serious relationships...
What happened it Monday i went shopping out of town and when I got home I got on the computer and seen that my husband had been on porn and found out that he had masturbated until he was "done" I cant seem to get over this I don’t want something like this to cause conflict in our relationship but i cant move past it... It makes me think that if they would look on the computer and imagine that there cheating that they probably would. I feel like I’m not good enough for him because he thought that he had to result to other women on the internet when he knew i would be coming home. I don’t get it? Anyone have an opinion?
A mans opinion

United States

#10 Oct 14, 2009
Curious woman wrote:
to "Skeleton in ur closet" imm not knocking it im just saying that i dont want my man to feel that he needs to masturbate when im gone. i wouldnt care if he would have included me but it was like he didnt want me to know. i just worry that im not satisifying his needs. Which is rediculus because he's only had one other person before me so he doesnt have much to compair me to and for another thing ive been told that im great in bed & sex comes kind of natural to me.. Depending on how bad i want it tho plays a big role in how good i am and lately we havent been getting along as good as in the past and i think it makes our sex not as good as it once was???? But i dont think i should be worried i think that maybe its just natural for a woman to worry when he man is trying to please his self behind her back when she's ogne down the road....
It isnt anything against you trust me i have been in this same situation and when ur girl isnt there you masturbate and its much better then going out and finding another woman and he probably did not tell ya because he may have felt you wouldnt understand him? A mans sexual appetite is sometimes too much for some women and ya end up running someone off because of it so i used masturbation to kinda balance things because they had already left once for the same reason just talk to him about it he may back pedal at first but he will eventually explain why he did it
Wow

Macon, GA

#11 Oct 14, 2009
Just an Opinion wrote:
This is a form of cheating; his way of fulfilling his fantasies with another woman. I am sure at that moment of passion if another woman were he would perform all those acts with her if she would do such & he would violate his committment to you. It's the animal in us---some people evolve more than others. Good Luck!
<quoted text>
It kills me how some women says "I am sure" when they talk about what a man is thinking. My lady, you are sure about nothing. It is not a form of cheating, his way of fulfilling his fantasies with another woman. It doesn't mean he would perform those acts with her. How do you know he wasn't imagining it was his wife because he missed her while she was gone? Don't judge when you don't know.
agree

Thelma, KY

#12 Oct 14, 2009
Just an Opinion wrote:
This is a form of cheating; his way of fulfilling his fantasies with another woman. I am sure at that moment of passion if another woman were he would perform all those acts with her if she would do such & he would violate his committment to you. It's the animal in us---some people evolve more than others. Good Luck!
<quoted text>
I would have to agree with you on this. It is a form of cheating when one uses porn. It can quickly become an addicition and then he may spend more time with that than with you. I think that you should be concerned. I wouldn't be concerned about the masterbation; but the porn would bother me.
Just an Opinion

Aurora, IL

#13 Oct 14, 2009
Wow,
I want to clear one thing up--the subject here is a man masturbating, so therefore I am speaking about men,(the majority of men) but my belief applies to women as well.{“I am sure”) Try to stay alive from my comment wouldn’t want you to die from disbelief.

Obviously our opinions differ, that' fine. I believe it's a form of cheating & you don't. Would you want your significant other having internet sex? Share your thoughts on that.
Also, if the man doesn’t feel he is cheating or there is something wrong with what he is doing, why not do it in the open? Oh, I get it “closet sex”?(behind closed doors)

Not only do I believe it’s a form of cheating, men can become addicted to internet sex (that's what I call it)--makes them bond with the internet; not their significant other. If he desires his wife so much, seems as though he would engage into the act with her to make the bond between them stronger. Furthermore, it can affect your relationship because as the lady stated, there's just isn’t anymore sexual energy left after the man has had internet sex all day, all night or whatever the case may be. It's just like being hungry; you're hungry when you sit down at the table, but full when you leave the table. Do you want to sit down for dinner again just when you got up from the table?(you get the point)

It is my opinion his wife or girlfriend was the farthest thing from his mind. It's called the heat of the moment, exploring--exploring his fantasies, pretending he is having group sex, or whatever the case may be. After all, these internet porn sites & strip clubs don’t stay in business because men desire their wife or girlfriend.(LOL) Sorry, I’ve had too much exposure. I suppose when I see married men out caressing other women they are desiring their wife. Yeah right, I was born during the day, but it wasn’t yesterday
Wow wrote:
<quoted text>

It kills me how some women says "I am sure" when they talk about what a man is thinking. My lady, you are sure about nothing. It is not a form of cheating, his way of fulfilling his fantasies with another woman. It doesn't mean he would perform those acts with her. How do you know he wasn't imagining it was his wife because he missed her while she was gone? Don't judge when you don't know.
Hooded Cobra

Santa Clara, CA

#14 Oct 14, 2009
Skeleton In Ur Closet wrote:
It's not just married or engaged men that masturbate to porn. Hell women do it to. God knows I do lol and hell my man keeps me MORE then satisfied..sometimes we even do it together. It's a huge turn on to watch porn with your significant other and I'm sure I'm not the only one that feels this way. Before you haters get started, you need to revert back to the old saying of, Don't Knock It Til You Try It!
Can I watch you next time?
Just an Opinion

Aurora, IL

#15 Oct 14, 2009
Oh, I forgot to mention, my post was an Opinion not passing judgement. There is a difference, passing jusgement would have been something similar to me calling him names, degrading, or demoralizing him. To each his own, I expressed my opinion & what studies have proved & I stick to what I said, especially since this is part of my area of expertise.
Wow wrote:
<quoted text>
It kills me how some women says "I am sure" when they talk about what a man is thinking. My lady, you are sure about nothing. It is not a form of cheating, his way of fulfilling his fantasies with another woman. It doesn't mean he would perform those acts with her. How do you know he wasn't imagining it was his wife because he missed her while she was gone? Don't judge when you don't know.
My Opinion

Harold, KY

#16 Oct 14, 2009
A curious woman wrote:
I’m looking for some opinions from men and women in serious relationships...
What happened it Monday i went shopping out of town and when I got home I got on the computer and seen that my husband had been on porn and found out that he had masturbated until he was "done" I cant seem to get over this I don’t want something like this to cause conflict in our relationship but i cant move past it... It makes me think that if they would look on the computer and imagine that there cheating that they probably would. I feel like I’m not good enough for him because he thought that he had to result to other women on the internet when he knew i would be coming home. I don’t get it? Anyone have an opinion?
Next time give him some before you leave. Take care of business at home. Maybe you are not competing with another woman, it might be a man.
me to

United States

#17 Oct 14, 2009
ive had the same thing happen to me.. except he would do it while i was asleep in the bed.. but one night i acted like i was asleep and i seen him doing it then i watched him delete the sight he was on? why would he do that when he tells me that he loves me so much? i just dont understand.. and better yet why would he try to hide it from me..i asked him about it and he lied about it.. and i told him that i seen him but he still lied about it and told me to check the history..
Jack-Master

Manchester, KY

#19 Oct 14, 2009
If he's jacking on the computer and your still in the room, dude has some serious issues.
me to

United States

#22 Oct 14, 2009
i told him what i felt about it and it makes me feel like im not pretty enough or im not good enough in bed for him.. i asked my grandma what i should do about it and she told me all men do it.. what should i do?
Dick Head

Pikeville, KY

#23 Oct 14, 2009
A curious woman wrote:
I’m looking for some opinions from men and women in serious relationships...
What happened it Monday i went shopping out of town and when I got home I got on the computer and seen that my husband had been on porn and found out that he had masturbated until he was "done" I cant seem to get over this I don’t want something like this to cause conflict in our relationship but i cant move past it... It makes me think that if they would look on the computer and imagine that there cheating that they probably would. I feel like I’m not good enough for him because he thought that he had to result to other women on the internet when he knew i would be coming home. I don’t get it? Anyone have an opinion?
How can you tell your husband has been on porn and stayed there until he finished masturbating? Did you video him?
SingleGal

Burbank, CA

#24 Oct 14, 2009
Hey- everybody loves porn. If you are so worried about it why don't you try watching it with him. It is a big turn on you know. Pop one in lay in bed teasing each other til you can't take it anymore then have the hottest sex ever. I'm single now, and a chick, and hey I love me some porn. Wont deny it. Gets the job done.
Wow

Macon, GA

#26 Oct 14, 2009
Just an Opinion wrote:
Wow,
I want to clear one thing up--the subject here is a man masturbating, so therefore I am speaking about men,(the majority of men) but my belief applies to women as well.{“I am sure”) Try to stay alive from my comment wouldn’t want you to die from disbelief.
Obviously our opinions differ, that' fine. I believe it's a form of cheating & you don't. Would you want your significant other having internet sex? Share your thoughts on that.
Also, if the man doesn’t feel he is cheating or there is something wrong with what he is doing, why not do it in the open? Oh, I get it “closet sex”?(behind closed doors)
Not only do I believe it’s a form of cheating, men can become addicted to internet sex (that's what I call it)--makes them bond with the internet; not their significant other. If he desires his wife so much, seems as though he would engage into the act with her to make the bond between them stronger. Furthermore, it can affect your relationship because as the lady stated, there's just isn’t anymore sexual energy left after the man has had internet sex all day, all night or whatever the case may be. It's just like being hungry; you're hungry when you sit down at the table, but full when you leave the table. Do you want to sit down for dinner again just when you got up from the table?(you get the point)
It is my opinion his wife or girlfriend was the farthest thing from his mind. It's called the heat of the moment, exploring--exploring his fantasies, pretending he is having group sex, or whatever the case may be. After all, these internet porn sites & strip clubs don’t stay in business because men desire their wife or girlfriend.(LOL) Sorry, I’ve had too much exposure. I suppose when I see married men out caressing other women they are desiring their wife. Yeah right, I was born during the day, but it wasn’t yesterday
<quoted text>
Now wait a min, let's break this down, shall we?

You said, "Also, if the man doesn’t feel he is cheating or there is something wrong with what he is doing, why not do it in the open?" Going to the bathroom sitting down and doing your business, there is nothing wrong with that, but would you do it down on main street for all to see? Why go "behind closed doors" if there is nothing wrong with it?(get my point)

Then you said, " men can become addicted to internet sex" you say that as if women can't. and you did say "but my belief applies to women as well" at the beginning of your post, but you didn't mention women in this statement.

Then you said "If he desires his wife so much, seems as though he would engage into the act with her" if you will go back and read the starting post you will see that she wasn't home so that would make engaging with her impossible at the moment.

Then you said "there's just isn’t anymore sexual energy left after the man has had internet sex all day, all night or whatever the case may be" I believe without going back and looking she said it was only while she was gone, unless she stayed gone all day and night which would explain why he was doing it. Besides that, I do believe most men could go again. I know I could.

Then you said, "pretending he is having group sex, or whatever the case may be." Still I say you don't know what is on his mind. Remember the male mind thinks different than a woman's.

Then you said, "I suppose when I see married men out caressing other women they are desiring their wife" this is not what the topic is about. This was not even mentioned. If that is the case then I would totally agree with you.

Shewwwww, that was a lot of "Then you said's" looks to me like there is a lot wrong with your post. A little one sided don't ya think?

Tell me when this thread is updated:

Subscribe Now Add to my Tracker
First Prev
of 13
Next Last

Add your comments below

Characters left: 4000

Please note by submitting this form you acknowledge that you have read the Terms of Service and the comment you are posting is in compliance with such terms. Be polite. Inappropriate posts may be removed by the moderator. Send us your feedback.

Betsy Layne Discussions

Title Updated Last By Comments
Monk Runs Away 1 hr agoodFriend 26
You know who you are.. 1 hr Eternal Flame 1
News Bible study rules for public schools proposed (Feb '10) 2 hr Lanora 151,988
What's mitch McConnell done for coal, when ther... (Jul '14) 2 hr B_Obama 33,378
Cocaine (Dec '14) Aug 27 Long dong 5
Jason Bentley Aug 27 Frien 1
Hairdresser Jason Aug 26 jason hairdresser 1

Betsy Layne Jobs

More from around the web

Personal Finance

Betsy Layne Mortgages