VDOT begins warnings of interstate rest stop closures

[Lloyd Schieldge]

Virginia Government at it's best. See here, VDOT had to cut it's budget, but the typical VDOT Manager (we will call him)Billy Bob didn't want to lay off Jimbob, his best friend from High School, and he couldn't lay off Bubba, because Bubba is married to his (Billy Bob's that is) daughter Betty Sue (works over there in the VDOT Chesterfield Residency), who is divorced from Billy's boss, who would then have to start paying alamony a'gin. So, Billy Bob thought about laying off Skeeter, but Skeeter's mother is Billy Bob's secretary Linda Joe, and Billy doesn't know how to check his voice mail, asides, his secretary was the Home Coming Queen Hopwell class of 1969 (Woo Ha). You see, it's hard to make staff cuts in an Agency with sooooooo much inter-marriage mingling goings on. And the VDOT Family Reunion is jus around the corner. Shucks, Bubba's great grand father Corn Dog worked for VDOT back when it was called the Highway Department, and some of his cousins still answer the tele-fone as if it was still called the highway department.

So how is the family gunna to stay together during these here tough times? Well, these here cats are pretty slick see, they gunna cut services that don't die-rectely affect the family. Make the cuts visible nuff though so's people will git madder than a cat that done just got sprayed with a gardin hose. Git these here people to start complaining and maybe Skeeter's third cousin, twice (shoulda been anyway) aborted, Timmy Kaine, will git ta floatin the VDOT family sum a that there rainy day fund money we keep on hearin bout.

See ya'll at the VDOT Family Reunion down there at the Sizzler, here?

[mutual friends]

You know V-DOT trucks have GPS in them? If they don;t know where they are maybe we don't need them.