girls dating guys with kids

girls dating guys with kids

Posted in the Bellefontaine Forum

Daughter2Be

West Mansfield, OH

#1 Dec 18, 2012
One piece of advice, if you're going to want all of that mans attention, unfortunately you're not going to get it, and his kids should come first. However that is a big should, second if he doesn't put his kids first that he has from a previous relationship or spouse, then the two of you having children of your own isn't the best idea. If he already has put his children last for you than do you think he will put your kids first if he can't be committed to his other children. I hear about a lot of young girls getting into relationships with these guys and either getting mad that they have to be around his kids, or being all in love and loving him putting them before his kids. I feel sorry for the kids in these situations and it goes for reverse couples also, some guys raise their kids and its the moms doing this and switching boyfriends like underwear. The kids need put first no matter what and if your new boyfriend or girlfriend can't understand that, then you shouldn't bother with prolonging a relationship with these people. Don't make your kids suffer, always put them first.
Honestly

Mansfield, OH

#2 Dec 18, 2012
Daughter2Be wrote:
One piece of advice, if you're going to want all of that mans attention, unfortunately you're not going to get it, and his kids should come first. However that is a big should, second if he doesn't put his kids first that he has from a previous relationship or spouse, then the two of you having children of your own isn't the best idea. If he already has put his children last for you than do you think he will put your kids first if he can't be committed to his other children. I hear about a lot of young girls getting into relationships with these guys and either getting mad that they have to be around his kids, or being all in love and loving him putting them before his kids. I feel sorry for the kids in these situations and it goes for reverse couples also, some guys raise their kids and its the moms doing this and switching boyfriends like underwear. The kids need put first no matter what and if your new boyfriend or girlfriend can't understand that, then you shouldn't bother with prolonging a relationship with these people. Don't make your kids suffer, always put them first.
Honestly if you expect people to not be in a relationship because one of them have children, its never going to happen. To many young kids are having kids, and if you think just because he or she has a kid and is no longer with the other parent they shouldn't get in another relationship, thats ridiculous. You sound like a bitter ex.
Missed point

Loveland, OH

#3 Dec 18, 2012
I think you may have missed the point that Daughter2b was making. If a lady is dating a man that has children by a prior relationship, they shouldn't be surprised or jealous if he puts those children first in his life. They should be his first priority until they reach a certain age. If the new woman can't accept that they are his first priority they need to move on. And if the man doesn't make them his first priority, then he is not husband and father material anyways. That is the point I got from the post.
disagree

Loveland, OH

#4 Dec 19, 2012
An individual should always put his partner before his children. God first, then wife/husband (but let's face it, many people never walk down the aisle), then kids, then church, then work. Perhaps if this man had put his first partner before his kids, they would still be together.
Oh, I know, people will whine that KIDS are more important than the spouse/partner, because they are helpless etc etc. However, taking care of your significant other, and them taking care of you, helps when it comes to taking care of the kids.
If you focus all your attention on the kids, you won't know your spouse once the kids are gone.

Since: Feb 12

Location hidden

#5 Dec 19, 2012
In the event that a person has made poor choices and finds themselves a single mother or father it is completely irresponsible for them to entertain any type of relationship beyond the relationship of their children Raise the kids then start a relationship.
Missed point

Loveland, OH

#6 Dec 19, 2012
disagree wrote:
An individual should always put his partner before his children. God first, then wife/husband (but let's face it, many people never walk down the aisle), then kids, then church, then work. Perhaps if this man had put his first partner before his kids, they would still be together.
Oh, I know, people will whine that KIDS are more important than the spouse/partner, because they are helpless etc etc. However, taking care of your significant other, and them taking care of you, helps when it comes to taking care of the kids.
If you focus all your attention on the kids, you won't know your spouse once the kids are gone.
I agree with you to a point. If they would have followed that practice they may still be in the first relationship. But they aren't. They need to tend to the obligations of raising those children and putting them first before they move on to another relationship. That is what is wrong with the young people they were never raised because their parents put their own needs first. It is a never ending circle. People having kids and letting their obligations go.
Daughter2Be

West Mansfield, OH

#7 Dec 20, 2012
The point I was trying to make was that in either case of the single parent, they need to concentrate on their kids. No matter what has happened in the previous relationship, the kids need to come first, not be shoved aside for another relationship. Children start to resent parents, and act out for doing so. Some people just weren't raised to understand that kids aren't disposable, they aren't just an option, they are a responsibility you helped create and need to help take care of. I am in no way a bitter ex, I have am with the person I have children with. However I have seen people that are friends decide they don't want to be married and run out and start dating, when they have kids they need to worry about more than themselves. I understand some people feel like they put everything before their happiness, but children are far too important to be pushed aside. And its not only young people having kids that do this, there are people much older doing the same thing. I was a young mother right out of high school, and I raised my own son without asking for any help and attending college. My mom always complains because she wants to watch my son, but I gave up having fun and goofing off to be responsible. I get sick of seeing all these high schoolers having kids, and dumping them off on their parents, or even adults having kids together and then splitting up and one parent or neither takes responsibility. I feel sorry for these children, I don't understand how people can be so selfish. However some people are enabled and nobody bothers to tell them no, that is a big problem. I am simply stating people need to worry about their kids more than themselves, we need to get back to putting kids first, and them being raised correctly than all these kids being pushed aside.

Since: Jun 09

Location hidden

#8 Dec 20, 2012
Daughter2Be wrote:
The point I was trying to make was that in either case of the single parent, they need to concentrate on their kids. No matter what has happened in the previous relationship, the kids need to come first, not be shoved aside for another relationship. Children start to resent parents, and act out for doing so. Some people just weren't raised to understand that kids aren't disposable, they aren't just an option, they are a responsibility you helped create and need to help take care of. I am in no way a bitter ex, I have am with the person I have children with. However I have seen people that are friends decide they don't want to be married and run out and start dating, when they have kids they need to worry about more than themselves. I understand some people feel like they put everything before their happiness, but children are far too important to be pushed aside. And its not only young people having kids that do this, there are people much older doing the same thing. I was a young mother right out of high school, and I raised my own son without asking for any help and attending college. My mom always complains because she wants to watch my son, but I gave up having fun and goofing off to be responsible. I get sick of seeing all these high schoolers having kids, and dumping them off on their parents, or even adults having kids together and then splitting up and one parent or neither takes responsibility. I feel sorry for these children, I don't understand how people can be so selfish. However some people are enabled and nobody bothers to tell them no, that is a big problem. I am simply stating people need to worry about their kids more than themselves, we need to get back to putting kids first, and them being raised correctly than all these kids being pushed aside.
Amen to that.

Since: Apr 12

Location hidden

#9 Dec 20, 2012
When I read the OP, I was in disagreement, Daughter2Be. Your second post makes a lot of sense and your well stated argument changed my mind. Good post.
Pinkie

Holland, MI

#11 Dec 23, 2012
Why would people make a responsible decision to use protection during sex when you have systems like welfare in place? I could pop out a baby tomorrow with some random stranger and with all the "safety nets" in place, My kid wont go hungry,and will have a roof over their head, and I wont have to work for any of it. I personally would feel like a failure as a parent, but no one has any shame anymore
exactly

Loveland, OH

#12 Dec 23, 2012
No one has any shame anymore? That is a broad statement to make.

Since: Jul 12

Location hidden

#13 Dec 24, 2012
There are men and women both who are just looking for a friend or family member to pawn their kids off on!!
They have so much fun playing adult and making a child, but the first sign of trouble and on or the other cuts and runs, then when they find themselves a single parent and want to go party and look for their next EX it becomes a game to see who is dumb enough to watch the kid/kids so they can catch up on the "Childhood" they missed. Sadly enough kids raising kids aren't very responsible for the child/children that they absolutely had to have to keep this boyfriend or girlfriend. I raised my kids, when I had an errand to run I took my kids with me, when I went on vacation, I took my kids with me. It is truly a sad situation. Granted not all young parents are like this, but more than most people would admit. I hate to admit that I have gone through this with my own kids wanting a free babysitter, and eventually put my foot down and just said NO, I have my own life. But that doesn't always work either, my heart goes out to these little pawns in the game of life.

Tell me when this thread is updated:

Subscribe Now Add to my Tracker

Add your comments below

Characters left: 4000

Please note by submitting this form you acknowledge that you have read the Terms of Service and the comment you are posting is in compliance with such terms. Be polite. Inappropriate posts may be removed by the moderator. Send us your feedback.

Bellefontaine Discussions

Title Updated Last By Comments
Sarah Palin: ‘Native Americans Should Go Back t... 25 min USN Atheist 40
Memorial Day Weekend 45 min Two Dollar Bill 7
Donald Trump Soon To Visit B-Town Ohio 50 min Two Dollar Bill 34
Do You Still Think Transgender Bathrooms are Im... 56 min Two Dollar Bill 24
What the hell are these little black bugs that ... (Oct '07) 9 hr MEEE 398
Can't fool me, I'm a smart progressive (Nov '15) 13 hr CALM STILL VOICE 224
Power Rain Car wash (Sep '10) 15 hr GBA-freedom 17
More from around the web

Personal Finance

Bellefontaine Mortgages