Advocate for fathers sues over child ...

Advocate for fathers sues over child support

There are 27 comments on the KOB.com Eyewitness News 4 - New Mexico story from Dec 10, 2007, titled Advocate for fathers sues over child support. In it, KOB.com Eyewitness News 4 - New Mexico reports that:

The founder of a group called Dads Against Discrimination has challenged New Mexico's child support guidelines after his wife recently sought a divorce.

Join the discussion below, or Read more at KOB.com Eyewitness News 4 - New Mexico.

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Gary Moore

Albuquerque, NM

#1 Dec 10, 2007
I think the courts and laws need to relevate to today's needs and society. Men and women both share a load while providing for their children in todays world. All to often we revert back to prehistoric ideas where women are seen as a victim in all divorce cases and not bear any finiancial support necessary for raising a child in todays' economy. Single women can and have effectively raised children while working, so if a women is able to work not willing this should be taken in consideration and if she is unwilling then the child should go to someone who is willing to provide all.
About time

Albuquerque, NM

#2 Dec 10, 2007
Someone needs to stand up for the men who are getting the raw end of the deal. Especially from the women that are just working the system due to the fact that it rules continually in their favor. My brother is getting nailed to a wall by a woman that has lied and manipulated and who is not even a legal citizen.
Jennifer

Gulfport, MS

#3 Dec 10, 2007
I think it is about time men started to stand up! All to often I see women take advantage of men with child support. I have a friend who pays out the nose for his kids while his ex wife gets a part time job because a judge told her if she worked more than 18 hours a week, her child support would be cut almost in half. So, my friend has to work 2 jobs and she works (if you could call it that) a few hours a weeks and then goes shopping! The kids come dressed in clothes that barely fit and she is dressed to the nines with a brand new car every other year. I don't think it is fair, and yet my friend does not complain. They are his kids and he will do whatever is needed, even if it means working 2 full time jobs! Now I know all women are not like this (and not all father's either) but is seems to be happening more and more!

“hardcore engine revver”

Since: Dec 07

Las Cruces, NM

#4 Dec 10, 2007
This is great to see that this movement is gaining steam. Too often, the courts give the dad's the shaft and the moms make out like bandits. If anyone has spent any time near family law courts, you will know and can not deny that on the whole it is biased towards the moms. Not every time, but the vast majority.

The courts rarely take factual matters into consideration, like those mentioned above. And that story is tame compareed to what I've witnessed in divorces.
Jerome

Montgomery, AL

#5 Dec 11, 2007
The laws in this state are not current. They are based on the living sisuations of the mid to early 1900s when husbands were able to work and support a family on one income. In todays society both parents are working and they should both pay equally. They should also set a statute of limitations so these parents who try to make a living off there ex do not tie up the court system every couple of years trying to get more money.
evil todd

United States

#6 Dec 11, 2007
Jerome wrote:
The laws in this state are not current. They are based on the living sisuations of the mid to early 1900s when husbands were able to work and support a family on one income. In todays society both parents are working and they should both pay equally. They should also set a statute of limitations so these parents who try to make a living off there ex do not tie up the court system every couple of years trying to get more money.
Great points. There is the occasional time that the wife deserves more alimony and child support. But nowadays it is rare.
Jennifer

Gulfport, MS

#7 Dec 11, 2007
The next thing I think should be addressed is when a man pays child support and then finds out through DNA that the kid is not his! The man, who is doing the right thing, should get his money back! It's Bull that the courts to him, to bad so sad.
evil todd

United States

#8 Dec 11, 2007
Sadly, he will not get his money back. However if they find the real father, they can get him for back child support. Double dipping.
anonymous to you

Huntsville, AL

#9 Dec 12, 2007
my ex is a lawyer and has never paid child support...or bought them clothes, etc. He did buy them a Wii last year...but they sold it to have money to buy school supplies. I work one full time job now, and my husband, there stepdad, provides their health insurance...my ex is a LAWYER! But, my husband, there stepfather...pays child support htrough the nose for a fat slob who said their daughter had a brain tumor, and did not and she got away with it!!! so...screw everybody...
Hurb

Los Alamos, NM

#10 Dec 13, 2007
anonymous to you wrote:
my ex is a lawyer and has never paid child support...or bought them clothes, etc. He did buy them a Wii last year...but they sold it to have money to buy school supplies. I work one full time job now, and my husband, there stepdad, provides their health insurance...my ex is a LAWYER! But, my husband, there stepfather...pays child support htrough the nose for a fat slob who said their daughter had a brain tumor, and did not and she got away with it!!! so...screw everybody...
That's unfortunate, but things should be equal, not one mooching off the other.
My exwife gave me custody of my kids cuz she wasn't going to get the amount she wanted, plus she wanted her new found single life.

“hardcore engine revver”

Since: Dec 07

Las Cruces, NM

#11 Dec 13, 2007
anonymous to you wrote:
my ex is a lawyer and has never paid child support...or bought them clothes, etc. He did buy them a Wii last year...but they sold it to have money to buy school supplies. I work one full time job now, and my husband, there stepdad, provides their health insurance...my ex is a LAWYER!
Take him to court. He is obligated to pay and if he isn't, take him down. Get him listed as a dead beat dad and go after him
anonymous to you

Huntsville, AL

#12 Dec 13, 2007
i tried, ran out of money. Because the divorce happened in NH, NM won't touch it, and when I tried to re-open it in NH, they said the divorce decree is what it is. When I checked into hiring a lawyer in NH, they want $250/hr,$7,00oto $10,000 up front, because he's a fellow lawyer,
or they know him, they refuse to take the case. Where's my due process? My kids have been on medicaid in the past, I refused food stamps and other aid. I was making $800 month, with three kids... I was so embarrassed when my daughter's first grade teacher gave her a new coat for winter (coats for kids)..that was 10 years ago, and we're doing well now...I could write a book, but he'd sue me...I made sure my current husband was paying child support...his ex doesn't deserve it, she doesn't even deserve the kids, but that's not their fault. I despise lawyers, despise them. I think they are all sociopaths and/or have personality disordrs...I know there are good men out there getting screwed, my husband is one of them. But my kids got screwed too...but, they know their stepdad and I love them, and will be there for them no matter what...oh well, it is what it is...
I need help

Huntsville, AL

#13 Dec 14, 2007
My daughter lives in California with her mother. I pay child support every month. Money is taken out biweekly. I do owe arrearages of less than 3000.00 and the only reason is that they considered some of the money orders I sent as gifts. I did this for two years without knowing. So I owe! Recently they intercepted a check to be used to pay off a govt credit card. Now I can't pay my credit card and I stand to lose my job. I am not a dedbeat father. I love my little girl. I am a wildland firefighter and I get laid off for 8 pay periods out of the year. I need some advice or a lawyer? I need help!!!!!!!!!!
Broken Down Father

AOL

#14 Dec 18, 2007
I recently had a child with a woman I dated for just eight months. The day she told me she was pregnant I asked her to marry me. She turned me down stating "we are just too different". She then moved out the following day. I tried for months to reconcile and was denied every time. She retained an attorney that showed her how to use the current NM Child Support Guidelines to her advantage and now I have to pay $1500 every month to a woman I was never even married to!!! I make a modest income and because of this unfair judgement I will never be able to get ahead financially. The sytem is broken!!! A message to all men: Take every possible precaution you can to avoid getting pregnant with someone until after you have been married for at least three years. Nothing is worth this kind of agony.
Broken Down Father

AOL

#15 Dec 18, 2007
I renently had a child with a woman I dated for only eight months. The day she told me she was pregnant I asked her to marry me. She turned me down stating "We are just too different". She then moved out the following day. I was crushed and have since tried to reconcile several times while being denied every time. She retained an attorney not long ago that showed her how to use the NM Child Support Guidelines and I now have to pay $1500 support every month for just one child!!! That's more than my mortgage! I can't believe this is the system we have to rely on. This is anything but justice. This is the most painfull and emotional thing I have ever experienced. And to add insult to injury I will never be able to get ahead financially.
Frustrated in NM

Algodones, NM

#16 Jan 3, 2008
My boyfriend whom served 2 yrs but prior to his release, got joint custody of his 5 yr old son whom lives with his mom in Socorro, NM. The dad lives in Albuquerque, NM. The court order states his visitation for every other weekend. All was going well and the mom was even bringing him to Belen (half way) for the exchange. Until she started playing games and not letting him come to visit. Well, one of the weekends (in Oct.'07) he called the police department for a welfare check on his son. Boom!! she was busted for posession of drugs and was locked up. Then in Nov. she tested positive during a random drug test at her place of employment at NM Tech. Well after these two occurances, she decided to file a report against him which was served to him on Dec. 16 which states that he is not to have any contact with his son until his court date on January 9, 2008. All he is trying to do is be able to visit with his son. He has fallen behind on his child support payments since Oct due to lay off from his job, but everytime he visited his son I was there to help him out. Which brings me to another subject. Since June until Sept. he was giving her money orders instead of paying through the state child support. Will he get credit for the money order payments? Plus the court order states $285/month but her attorney crossed off the amount and wrote $360/month which is what he was making the money orders for. One last note. This lady also gets child support from her older daughter's dad. With the child support money and wages she could not even afford to buy a water heater. She had the nerve to ask my boyfriend to buy her one and install it. I am so frustrated and feel the hurt that my boyfriend feels when he can't see his son. He has tried to move his case to a different county but has had no luck. Maybe someone can point him in the right direction. Thank you and wish him luck on his court next week.
Jennifer

Gulfport, MS

#17 Jan 3, 2008
Frustrated, Make sure your boyfriend gets a receipt and keeps the money order stubs. It is probably best to pay through the state child support only because it will record his payments. If she takes him to court saying she is not receiving the Child support, he will have to jump through hoops to prove that he is! As for the court order payment amounts, unless the amended payment amount gets signed by a judge he should pay the $285. Just because her lawyer changed it doesn't make it correct. It has to be signed by a judge!
Liberal state NM

United States

#18 May 12, 2010
For 14 years I raised my son with very little or np help from his father. When we divorced he was ordered to pay 118 a month and we were lucky if we received anything at all. I never tried to collect because I was happy to just be free from my ex. When my son was 14 and self sufficient my ex manipulated my 14 into asking the court to move with him.
In 14 years my ex paid a total of 2100 +/- in child support. The day after he gained custody, I was ordered to pay 600 a month which is garnished from my check like clock work. To date I have paif over 25000 and owe over 15800 due to losing my job after the first garnishment. All because my ex husband played the system.
My son since being in my ex husbands custody has grown into a criminal and drug addict. Not all fathers are this way but if you are just attempting to get back at your ex by getting custody, think first about the one who truly stands to lose.........the child. If I had to do over, I would have never told him about the child and I would have raised my son alone. Who knows, he May have gone to college and made something of himself.
BTW it was Judge Violet Otero who allowed my ex abusive, alcoholic, drug addict ex to have custody of my boy. She knew about my ex's 9 dwi's and failed drug rehab attempts.
I've never broken the late aside from a speeding ticket. The laws aren't meant to protect the innocent, there only around to give the black robes something to do.
MJP

Fulton, MS

#19 Jun 23, 2010
I FEEL THE PAIN EVERYDAY FROM THIS.MY FIANCES X GOT HER CLAWS IN HIM WHILE HE WAS IN IRAQ.WHEN HE RETURNED HOME HIS PAY DROPPED TO $9 AN HOUR.THIS HUSSEY DRAWS $625 A MONTH FOR 1 CHILD.I HAVE 2 CHILDREN OF MY OWN I DO NOT RECEIVE ANY CHILD SUPPORT BUT THEIR DAD DOES BUY THEM THINGS. SHE'S ONE OF THOSE WOMEN WHO USSED A GUY TO GET HER PREGNANT BECAUSE SHE IS THE APITAMOMY OF SLOTH.I'M STARTING TO WRITE DHS & OTHER OFFICIALS IF YA'LL KNOW OF ANYONE THAT i CAN E-MAIL PLEASE LEAVE A POST.
Hussey

Marion, OH

#20 Jul 19, 2010
I randomly found this.. if you're gonna call someone a hussy, spell it right please. A hussy is a slanderous woman. Hussey is my last name. :D Thanks.

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