Facebook Postings About Death

Facebook Postings About Death

Posted in the Beckley Forum

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Concern

Port Matilda, PA

#1 Oct 5, 2012
I have a friend who had a death in the family last month. They seem to spend all day posting stories of good times they had with this person and old family pics. Their facebook friends are posting responses showing their love and concern, but how much longer will it continue before they start defriending my friend cause they might get tired of reading the same over and over everyday. I don't mean to sound heartless but facebook is not a place for grief counseling. Since my friend doesn't have money to visit a paid grief counselor, does anyone know of a church or a support group that has free grief counseling. Thanks.
379Flin

Charleston, WV

#2 Oct 5, 2012
I was just on facebook and saw an interesting post regarding this exact same situation. Then i see your post on here and believe you are the one he was talking about. After reading his repost of the message you sent him regarding all of his posts of his wife that passed away, it really sounds as if you are one of the only ones that has an issue with it. Maybe it is therapeutic for him to post memories and share them. Maybe there is a better way to approach someone if you are really concerned. Maybe you should let up. If you believe counseling would help, search for options and present them to him. But do it in a less abrasive way.
sistersalvation

Ardsley, NY

#3 Oct 5, 2012
Jesus, close your account.
mmm

New Orleans, LA

#4 Oct 5, 2012
Seriously? He is doing no harm. Hide his posts if you don't want to see them. It is not your problem if people defriend him because they are sick of seeing his post. I think you are the only one with the problem. All of us who are friends with him, we are his support group. We like him. If posting helps him, we want him to post all day long. It is called caring. Why would you bring this here? I think you have ulterior motives...
CONCERN

Princeton, WV

#5 Oct 6, 2012
379Flin wrote:
I was just on facebook and saw an interesting post regarding this exact same situation. Then i see your post on here and believe you are the one he was talking about. After reading his repost of the message you sent him regarding all of his posts of his wife that passed away, it really sounds as if you are one of the only ones that has an issue with it. Maybe it is therapeutic for him to post memories and share them. Maybe there is a better way to approach someone if you are really concerned. Maybe you should let up. If you believe counseling would help, search for options and present them to him. But do it in a less abrasive way.
I think we are talking about two different people. I had not sent my friend a message/post regarding their post of losing a loved one. And I didn't say if the death was a child, husband or wife. But I do agree with you that posting a negative response to their posting isn't the way to get them the help they need.
CONCERN

Princeton, WV

#6 Oct 6, 2012
mmm wrote:
Seriously? He is doing no harm. Hide his posts if you don't want to see them. It is not your problem if people defriend him because they are sick of seeing his post. I think you are the only one with the problem. All of us who are friends with him, we are his support group. We like him. If posting helps him, we want him to post all day long. It is called caring. Why would you bring this here? I think you have ulterior motives...
Like I said to an eariler post, we are talking about 2 different people. Now I am curious who you'll are talking about that has friends that are defending him on topix.

“Crossing the road”

Level 9

Since: Jun 12

I hope I make it!

#7 Oct 6, 2012
It sure is hard to hit the Like, when you hear of a loss of a friend. I see it all the time.
mmk2010

Beckley, WV

#8 Oct 6, 2012
You are so OBVIOUSLY talking about the SAME person and WE ALL know it. Don't make it worse by lying.
WOW

United States

#9 Oct 6, 2012
mmk2010 wrote:
You are so OBVIOUSLY talking about the SAME person and WE ALL know it. Don't make it worse by lying.
. Wow..when did you get promoted to
Facebook & Topix detective ? There must have been thousands of Facebook users in our area who had a death of a family member recently. I have 3 FB friends myself who have been posting their feeling throughout the day for several weeks after having a death in the family. It doesn't bother me. Sometimes I read them and sometimes I just keep scrolling on down. To the originally post, try a Google search for grief support groups in our area or call several churches in your neighborhood to see if they offer counseling.
mmm

New Orleans, LA

#10 Oct 6, 2012
CONCERN wrote:
<quoted text>
Like I said to an eariler post, we are talking about 2 different people. Now I am curious who you'll are talking about that has friends that are defending him on topix.
My apologies. The timing was just too impeccable.

Since: Apr 10

United States

#11 Oct 6, 2012
I don't know where your friend lives, but I know that they could go to grief counseling at the Bower's Hospice House with no charge. You can call & find out when they having sessions.

Score Keeper The Greatest

“Score Keeper Score Keeper”

Level 7

Since: Dec 11

SCORE KEEPER !!!!!!!

#12 Oct 6, 2012
Concern wrote:
I have a friend who had a death in the family last month. They seem to spend all day posting stories of good times they had with this person and old family pics. Their facebook friends are posting responses showing their love and concern, but how much longer will it continue before they start defriending my friend cause they might get tired of reading the same over and over everyday. I don't mean to sound heartless but facebook is not a place for grief counseling. Since my friend doesn't have money to visit a paid grief counselor, does anyone know of a church or a support group that has free grief counseling. Thanks.
Facebook accounts may be something you might want to put in your will. My cousin's wife died a few years ago. They left the account open and would say hello there even after a year or so. Maybe it helps people to do that but it has some creepiness to it. I want mine cancelled so people can't rag on me after I die with me not being able to respond. Maybe I could appoint somebody to respond for me? Something to think about huh?

Score Keeper The Greatest

“Score Keeper Score Keeper”

Level 7

Since: Dec 11

SCORE KEEPER !!!!!!!

#13 Oct 6, 2012
I'm pondering that idea about having somebody having my account and responding for me. Pondering who also is my youngest most demented relative.
SonjaP

Canton, OH

#14 Oct 6, 2012
Score Keeper The Greatest wrote:
<quoted text>Facebook accounts may be something you might want to put in your will. My cousin's wife died a few years ago. They left the account open and would say hello there even after a year or so. Maybe it helps people to do that but it has some creepiness to it. I want mine cancelled so people can't rag on me after I die with me not being able to respond. Maybe I could appoint somebody to respond for me? Something to think about huh?
. I work with a lady whose husband passed away 2 years ago. She still post on his account (she also has her own) pics from trips, birthday parties and such. It does seem a little strange to me. She said some of her husband old friends from high school found his account and post comments like "how ya doing, are you going to our class reunion." Instead of responding by saying "This is Chuck's wife, he passed away 2 years ago." She will respond "Don't think I will be able to make it to our reunion". She thinks it's funny but I think she needs counseling.
EnoughAlready

Elyria, OH

#15 Oct 7, 2012
If someone is posting constantly, it is like a game to them to see how many Facebook "likes" and comments they get. If they felt a certain posting didn't get the likes or comments they expected, they will later post another story to see what response that one gets. I have 23 years of grief counseling and alot of training in dealing with people who use social media sites. Too much posting will chase off the people who are there to support you. There is just so many times someone can tell you they are sorry for your loss before they begin to think enough is enough.
mmm

New Orleans, LA

#16 Oct 7, 2012
EnoughAlready wrote:
If someone is posting constantly, it is like a game to them to see how many Facebook "likes" and comments they get. If they felt a certain posting didn't get the likes or comments they expected, they will later post another story to see what response that one gets. I have 23 years of grief counseling and alot of training in dealing with people who use social media sites. Too much posting will chase off the people who are there to support you. There is just so many times someone can tell you they are sorry for your loss before they begin to think enough is enough.
Way to generalize. Everyone is no that immature...
Defriend

Wampum, PA

#17 Oct 7, 2012
mmm wrote:
<quoted text>
Way to generalize. Everyone is no that immature...
. We all deal with grief different. But if I need help and guidance, I
would go see someone who has experience that could help me deal with a death. I have great friends but their 10 words of support on a Facebook response isn't the help I would need. I
have seen people turn a death into their own little reality show wanting all eyes and attention on them.
mmk2010

Beckley, WV

#18 Oct 8, 2012
I'm actually starting to worry about the person this poster claims he isn't referring to.
DEBS

Charleston, WV

#19 Oct 8, 2012
mmk2010 wrote:
I'm actually starting to worry about the person this poster claims he isn't referring to.
I wonder if you and I are talking about the same person ? I know people will think that I am heartless, but the person I know is turning the death of a loved one into an hour by hour novel. I think other friends are beginning to feel the same way and have just ran out of things to say and comments to their post have gone from being in the 100's down to very few. We have all lost a loved one but I think that dealing with a death, it is better to talk face to face to family, friends, support groups or my pastor.

Score Keeper The Greatest

“Score Keeper Score Keeper”

Level 7

Since: Dec 11

SCORE KEEPER !!!!!!!

#20 Oct 8, 2012
It's a Facebook thing I guess. Some people just blurt out their life problems there. Sometimes it helps to vent but some do get annoying. I've slipped up and bitched about on goings in my personal life at times but felt really stupid the next day reading what I wrote so I refrain from that. Drunk posting I've learned to not do also. It's kind of the same when you wake up the next morning and think, Oh No, and then quickly delete what you wrote with the hope that nobody saw it. I try and give people a break because I've made my little slip ups there so when I see things that annoy me I just hide the story or unsubscribe to the comments for that person.

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