Honk!

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Elaine

Houston, TX

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#1
Aug 9, 2013
 

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Dear Granddaughter,

The other day I went up to our local Christian book store and saw a “Honk if you love Jesus” bumper sticker . I was feeling particularly sassy that day because I had just come from a
thrilling choir performance, followed by a thunderous prayer meeting. So, I bought the sticker and put it on my bumper.

Boy, am I glad I did; what an uplifting experience that followed. I was stopped at a red light at a busy intersection, just lost in thought about the Lord and how good He is. I found that lots of people love Jesus! While I was sitting there, the guy behind started honking like crazy, and then he leaned out of his window and screamed,'”For the love of God! Go! Go! Go! Jesus Christ, GO!” What an exuberant cheerleader he was for Jesus! Everyone started honking! I just leaned out my window and started waving and smiling at all those loving people. I even honked my horn a few times to share in the love!

There must have been a man from Florida back there because I heard him yelling something about a sunny beach. I saw another guy waving in a funny way with only his middle finger stuck up in the air. I asked your cousin, my youngest teenage grandson, in the back seat what that meant. He said it was probably a Hawaiian good luck sign or something. Well, I have never met anyone from Hawaii , so I leaned out the window and gave him the good luck sign right back. My grandson burst out laughing. Why even he was enjoying this religious experience!! A couple of the people were so caught up in the joy of the moment that they got out of their cars and started walking towards me. I bet they wanted to pray or ask what church I attended, but this is when I noticed the light had changed.

So, grinning, I waved at all my brothers and sisters, and drove on through the intersection. I noticed that I was the only car that got through the intersection before the light changed again and felt kind of sad that I had to leave them after all the love we had shared.

So I slowed the car down, leaned out the window and gave them all the Hawaiian good luck sign one last time as I drove away. Praise the Lord for such wonderful folks!!

Love, Grandma
Lomaxx

Houston, TX

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#2
Aug 11, 2013
 
Good one Elaine!
I've sent that one to the internet...

“Activist, Comedian, Con Man!”

Since: Jan 09

www.HeavyFed.com

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#3
Aug 11, 2013
 

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Lomaxx wrote:
Good one Elaine!
I've sent that one to the internet...
Dork, that's where it came from.
Lomaxx

Houston, TX

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#4
Aug 11, 2013
 
Dear Abby,

My husband has a long record of money problems. He runs up huge credit-card bills and at the end of the month, if I try to pay them off, he shouts at me, saying I am stealing his money. He says pay the minimum and let our kids worry about the rest, but already we can hardly keep up with the interest. Also he has been so arrogant and abusive toward our neighbors that most of them no longer speak to us. The few that do are an odd bunch, to whom he has been giving a lot of expensive gifts, running up our bills even more. Also, he has gotten religious. One week he hangs out with Catholics and the next with people who say the Pope is the Anti-Christ, and the next he's with Muslims.. Finally, the last straw. He's demanding that before anyone can be in the same room with him, they must sign a loyalty oath. It's just so horribly creepy! Can you help?

Signed, Lost

Dear Lost,

Suck it up and stop whining, Michelle. You're getting to live in the White House for free, travel the world, and have others pay for everything for you. You can divorce the jerk any time you want. The rest of us are stuck with the idiot for 4 more years.

Signed, Abby

“Activist, Comedian, Con Man!”

Since: Jan 09

www.HeavyFed.com

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#5
Aug 11, 2013
 

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Lomaxx wrote:
Dear Abby,

My husband has a long record of money problems. He runs up huge credit-card bills and at the end of the month, if I try to pay them off, he shouts at me, saying I am stealing his money. He says pay the minimum and let our kids worry about the rest, but already we can hardly keep up with the interest. Also he has been so arrogant and abusive toward our neighbors that most of them no longer speak to us. The few that do are an odd bunch, to whom he has been giving a lot of expensive gifts, running up our bills even more. Also, he has gotten religious. One week he hangs out with Catholics and the next with people who say the Pope is the Anti-Christ, and the next he's with Muslims.. Finally, the last straw. He's demanding that before anyone can be in the same room with him, they must sign a loyalty oath. It's just so horribly creepy! Can you help?

Signed, Lost

Dear Lost,

Suck it up and stop whining, Michelle. You're getting to live in the White House for free, travel the world, and have others pay for everything for you. You can divorce the jerk any time you want. The rest of us are stuck with the idiot for 4 more years.

Signed, Abby
Ugh... and now you brought one back!
Elaine

Houston, TX

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#6
Aug 11, 2013
 

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Heavy Fed wrote:
<quoted text>
Dork, that's where it came from.
That wasn't necessary.

“Activist, Comedian, Con Man!”

Since: Jan 09

www.HeavyFed.com

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#7
Aug 11, 2013
 

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Elaine wrote:
<quoted text>
That wasn't necessary.
Neither is 95% of the crap you post.
Elaine

Houston, TX

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#8
Aug 12, 2013
 

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Heavy Fed wrote:
<quoted text>Neither is 95% of the crap you post.
That wasn't necessary either. Heavy Fed the Internet bully strikes again. Someone tries to post some humor and you ruin it for everyone.

This is why the prosecutor gave you the deal to leave town to have your charges dropped. You are an antisocial drug addict ruining our town. It was cheaper to give you a bus ticket to California than to jail you here.

“Activist, Comedian, Con Man!”

Since: Jan 09

www.HeavyFed.com

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#9
Aug 15, 2013
 

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Elaine wrote:
<quoted text>That wasn't necessary either. Heavy Fed the Internet bully strikes again. Someone tries to post some humor and you ruin it for everyone.

This is why the prosecutor gave you the deal to leave town to have your charges dropped. You are an antisocial drug addict ruining our town. It was cheaper to give you a bus ticket to California than to jail you here.
THIS right here is part of the reason you will soon find yourself on the wrong side of a lawsuit.

Slander will get you nowhere except a courtroom, "Elaine".
Lomaxx

Houston, TX

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#10
Aug 15, 2013
 

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A lawsuit from a fatass???

Who can't come to Texas without hiding from the LAW?

Give me a break! LOL!
Elaine

Houston, TX

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#11
Aug 15, 2013
 

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Heavy Fed wrote:
<quoted text>
THIS right here is part of the reason you will soon find yourself on the wrong side of a lawsuit.
Slander will get you nowhere except a courtroom, "Elaine".
Are you saying your lawyer can beat up my lawyer?
phoney

Carriere, MS

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#12
Aug 15, 2013
 
thIs thread remInds me of cartman's tea party, where all hIs ImagInary frIends are there.
Lomaxx

Houston, TX

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#13
Aug 15, 2013
 
There's a fat indigent dumbass that shows up in here regularly!

“Activist, Comedian, Con Man!”

Since: Jan 09

www.HeavyFed.com

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#14
Aug 15, 2013
 

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Lomaxx wrote:
A lawsuit from a fatass???
Who can't come to Texas without hiding from the LAW?
Give me a break! LOL!
Oh, I don't have to win the lawsuit, Elaine... I win simply by filing it... winning will just be a bonus.
Lomaxx

Houston, TX

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#15
Aug 15, 2013
 
You will have to come out from under a rock(or bridge) to do anything...but run your mouth!

L O S E R !!!!!!!!!!
Deep

Deer Park, TX

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#16
Aug 15, 2013
 

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Lomax=heavy
Elaine=heavy
Texan=heavy

Enjoy you forum.
Elaine

Houston, TX

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#17
Aug 15, 2013
 

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Texas also has implemented some of the nation’s most significant state-level reforms aimed at reducing or eliminating lawsuit abuse.

The latest of these is a “loser pays” provision requiring plaintiffs to pay the winners’ legal costs in civil suits seeking punitive damages. The provision is included in the 2011 Omnibus Tort Reform Act Perry signed Monday. In addition to the provision, the new law:

Allows a trial judge to send a question of law directly to the appellate court without requiring all parties to agree if a ruling by a court of appeals could decide the case.
Allows plaintiffs seeking less than $100,000 in damages to request an expedited civil action.
Allows a trial court to dismiss a frivolous lawsuit immediately if there is no basis in law or fact for the lawsuit.

“Activist, Comedian, Con Man!”

Since: Jan 09

www.HeavyFed.com

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#18
Aug 15, 2013
 

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Elaine wrote:
Texas also has implemented some of the nation’s most significant state-level reforms aimed at reducing or eliminating lawsuit abuse.
The latest of these is a “loser pays” provision requiring plaintiffs to pay the winners’ legal costs in civil suits seeking punitive damages. The provision is included in the 2011 Omnibus Tort Reform Act Perry signed Monday. In addition to the provision, the new law:
Allows a trial judge to send a question of law directly to the appellate court without requiring all parties to agree if a ruling by a court of appeals could decide the case.
Allows plaintiffs seeking less than $100,000 in damages to request an expedited civil action.
Allows a trial court to dismiss a frivolous lawsuit immediately if there is no basis in law or fact for the lawsuit.
I could file a slander lawsuit against you right here in California.

Then it would be up to you to defend yourself... here.

If you don't show... a judgement may be entered against you.

So... you just keep on running your smartass mouth... it's going to get you into more trouble than you can handle.

Ask Clark Askins how much fun I am in court.

You're not screwing with an imbecile here, Elaine.

I suggest you take stock of your situation... and adjust your attitude appropriately.

Since: Jan 12

Location hidden

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#19
Aug 16, 2013
 

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The value of a Catholic education and a pencil.



Little Susie was not the best student in Catholic School.

Usually she slept through the class.

One day her teacher, a Nun, called on her while she was sleeping.

'Tell me Susie, who created the universe?'

When Susie didn't stir, little Johnny who was her friend sitting behind her, took his pencil and jabbed her in the rear.

'God Almighty!' shouted Susie.

The Nun said,'Very good' and continued teaching her class..

A little later the Nun asked Susie,'Who is our Lord and Savior?'

But Susie didn't stir from her slumber.

Once again, Johnny came to her rescue and stuck her in the butt.

'Jesus Christ!!!' shouted Susie.

And the Nun once again said,'Very good,' and Susie fell back asleep..

The Nun asked her a third question...'What did Eve say to Adam after she had her twenty-third child?'

Again, Johnny came to the rescue. This time Susie jumped up and shouted,

'If you stick that damn thing in me one more time, I'll break it in half!'

The nun fainted!
Lomaxx

Houston, TX

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#20
Aug 16, 2013
 

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The only thing fatass files is for unemployment pay!

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