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21 - 25 of 25 Comments Last updated Jun 28, 2013
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Since: Jul 12

Oceana, WV

#21 Jun 27, 2013
MarkEden wrote:
<quoted text>
So you are OK with folks who divorce and remarry 5-6-7 plus times with children all over the place? Unlike most prot denominations the Catholic Church requires those seeking marriage in the Church undergo extensive instruction. In times past the Banns of Marriage were even posted on the church doors and announced from the ambo. To borrow from another cliche...if you can't do the time don't do the crime!
Oh, no, that's tragic. Anyone with so many marriages must be emotionally numb.

I grew up in a Baptist Church and I was married there during a phase of re-commitment to my church. We were counselled (several group classes, literature, and private interviews)- the Pastor at my church required any couple that he married to be counselled this way. I already had a child, so we were counselled about adoption - my husband adopted my child. My daughter was included in our ceremony. I was sincere with my promises to God and to my husband - it was a little later before I rejected Christianity completely. I originally thought my marriage was a "commitment" and it was a little later before I considered it more like a "contract". Guess what! It was a contract all along. I didn't anticipate being smarter later in life - I didn't know how dumb and young I was. "Until we die" meant: I like the way things are NOW and I think they will always be this way.

Lucky for me - I met a great guy. We matured together and became great business partners, because that's who contracts are for: business partners. We literally took business classes together and used the concepts to run our household. We were prepared to love each other - my glimpse into the future didn't include wrecked cars, disabled parents, floods, debt, depression - I imagined sunshine and rainbows. It must have been obvious to everyone but us, but no one stopped us from being disillusioned - my family was just grateful and relieved the someone was going to help me take care of that child. I often feel like the luckiest person in the world to have found my true mate, my soul mate, my star-crossed lover - on the first try! I've often patted myself on the back for not rushing into marriage for panic of being pregnant. My young pregnancy was a crisis that my man stepped in to rescue me from. Isn't it a good thing that he wasn't a lying jerk?? I'm just lucky.

Everyone isn't lucky. Some guys (& girls) are lying jerks!! If you realized that you made a mistake - that confusion and circumstances clouded your judgement - that you chose the wrong one, you SHOULD go try to find the right one. Forcing love for the sake of keeping promises is self-defeating. A mommy and daddy who are always unhappy are not good parents. One good parent is better than 2 bad parents.

Since: Jul 12

Oceana, WV

#22 Jun 27, 2013
I agree that divorces should be expensive and difficult. But then, that leads to more "immoral" behavior, being legally married but physically divorced or separated or just "broke up". I mean, what are you going to do? You work all day and your woman stays home and snorts pills, steals all the money for drugs, and neglects the children - it's your responsibility to end this scenario for the sake of your children! Then it's YOUR responsibility to send your woman to rehab, care for the children yourself, AND work to pay for it all? NO - this guy needs a different business partner - that lady needs to take responsibility for herself and get her act together. Those children need active, responsible care-giver(s): grandparents, uncles, sisters, friends, support groups, churches even - the father's commitment should be to the children, not the wife who broke her contract in 20 different ways. Reality is: he already can't afford to support his kids and his wife's drug habit - he most certainly can't afford to divorce her. If he happens to find someone willing to step in and help out with his household, shouldn't he let her come on in and do it? It's not an expensive legal contract - it's more like a friendly handshake agreement - let's act like we're married since we can't afford to really get married.

I think Christians should be able to keep their marriage, the commitment, sacred and heterosexual like you want it to be, but we have to quit acting like marriage, the certificate, is the same thing! You don't have to promise God anything to get a legal document approved. No legal document should last until death - perhaps it should be renewed yearly or at least once a decade. Truly happy people will sign up again and again.

(I know that was a real hillbilly example, but it's a real life example. There are a million reasons people get divorced - some are selfish and immature - some are legitimate and necessary.)
Barnsweb

Canton, OH

#23 Jun 28, 2013
Awesome_Steve_Monkey wrote:
I can't speak for Christianity, but I can tell you what logic says about marriage and divorce.
Promising to do something "forever" is an unrealistic request of anyone. No one can see what their future will bring - no one can know what marriage is like until they actually get married. Are you doomed to stand by a decision you regret? Of course not and so, divorce is the way to take it back. It's cruel to force a person to honor a decision they regret - life is about learning as you go along.
Marriage, the promise to God and Marriage, the legal contract are SO different. Why isn't there a decent way to discuss them as if they were two seperate entities?
Yes, as a Scripture says,'How can two walk together except they agree.' People change through the years, and not everyone is in tune with watching for the changes and maintaining 'agreement' as they daily walk through life. Sometimes people have profound changes that are not able to be reconciled. Sometimes one trips up and the other is so offended that they are not able to endure the bonds of peace any more. Sometimes those who are able to endure some screw ups will come to a point where the screw-ups are the final indication that there is no change to the good, but only for the worse, and that the time to depart for the sake of all has come. God permits divorce. Jesus permits divorce. Jesus approves of whatever God did. Even God divorced Himself from the generation of Israel that first rejected Him and went from bad to worse - He was patient - they were profoundly unfaithful lieing hypocrites.
The Catholics have a list of foundational elements that must be present in a marriage. The 'test' is to show one of them that never existed in the marriage. At least that's my unsophisticated understanding of their beliefs about nullification of a marriage.
R-oman C-atholic SPROUL

Manassas, VA

#24 Jun 28, 2013
MarkEden wrote:
<quoted text>
Unlike most prot denominations the Catholic Church requires those seeking marriage in the Church undergo extensive instruction.
This requirement by the Catholic church of six months counseling before marriage is only recent (a decade or so) and because of heir high divorce rate within the church. It is an unbiblical attempt by man to solve a modern day problem that was doomed to failure from the start. Arranged marriages were the norm in bible times and even today you can find many marriages that were quick and successful. The requirement of a six month educational wait before marriage is a perfect example of the church getting into something it should not. Give them the education about marriage long before this point in their lives. We are educated of many things as children and marriage is an area we are not educated in which affects most everyone. It is important enough in life to study correctly and expect no help from an entity whose sole purpose is it's destruction. The church should not have of been asleep at the wheel on this institution of God.
ABC

Charlottesville, VA

#25 Jun 28, 2013
Divorce can be forgiven, it is not exempt from the blood of Christ.

Matthew 12:31

Wherefore I say unto you, All manner of sin and blasphemy shall be forgiven unto men: but the blasphemy against the Holy Ghost shall not be forgiven unto men.

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