A very open and seemingly honest post. May I share some thoughts with you, concerning things that have worked for me. First instead of trying to find mr. or ms. right..Try to be mr. or ms.right for someome else, this is very difficult to do because we are all selfish by nature but once you master this concept,you will see a great change. Be mr.or ms. right....be the soulmate dont look for a soulmate. Live your dreams, your fantacies no matter how different they may seem. Let your hair down...go for it. Dont look for something that is not out there, create something.Even with the Lord inside my soul I am lonely .I don't understand it . I need someone physically not just mentally . My worldly needs need to be met . Sometimes I wonder if there really is someone out there for me . Every time I think I have found the right one , they throw me away like garbage. Like there was never anything there in the first place . Like Gotye says , "But you didn't have to cut me off make out like it never happened and that we were nothing and I don't even need your love but you treat me like a stranger and I feel so rough no you didn't have to stoop so low have your friends collect your records and then change your number I guess that I don't need that though Now your just somebody that I used to know." Where is my Mister Right ? Where is my Soul Mate ? Who here on earth would walk with me thrugh my fantacy world and enjoy it just as much as I do and not say that I was stupid , I should have no dreams.Even if they are dark and corrupted sometimes . There is no such thing as normal . Why would someone want somebody drab and meaningless ?
Make it happen, it is all up to you.