and for fun, let's say the Christians are right and you are wrong....on judgment day your sins will be read out loud and then you will be cast into a lake of fire to burn for all eternity...then you will believe. You will remember these and other conversations you have had denouncing Gods existence.<quoted text>
Sticking your fingers in your ears, closing your eyes, and repeating your mantras will not change reality. The evidence is there, even though you don't want to understand it. It's there and more is found every year. Unlike your god, it doesn't care whether you believe in it or not, it simply exists...because it's real.
You refusing to understand it does not invalidate it.
You will not adapt to the pain. The sering will not ease. The physical gnashing of your skin by those you have manipulated will not result in old skin into new. How scarry. You have learned enough that when the end of the world comes you will recognize and there won't be anything you can do.