Honorable mention...AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH AHAAAAHHH!!!Three couples went in to see the minister to see how to become members of his church. The minister said that they would have to go without sex for two weeks and then come back and tell him how it went.
The first couple was retired, the second couple was middle-aged and the final couple was newlywed. Two weeks went by, and the couples returned to the minister. The retired couple said it was no problem at all. The middle-aged couple said it was tough for the first week, but after that, it was no problem. The newlyweds said it was fine until she dropped the can of paint.
"Can of PAINT?!" exclaimed the minister.
"Yeah," said the newlywed man. "She dropped the can and when she bent over to pick it up, I had to have her right there and then. Lust took over."
The minister just shook his head sadly, and said that they would no longer be welcome in the church.
"That's perfectly okay," said the man. "Home Depot doesn't want us back, either."
MURRAY, Ky. - State wildlife officials say "several hundred" dead birds were found near the Murray State University campus last week.
Join the discussion below, or Read more at The Cincinnati Enquirer.
Since: Jan 10
#89270 May 10, 2013
Since: Jan 10
#89271 May 10, 2013
Sorry but anti-semite statements are automatically null and void. Your point is moot(aka "poot").
Since: Jan 10
#89272 May 10, 2013
Hello to Everyone! Four or five days ago I looked in and it was like a ghost thread. But that seems to have changed. Good to read everybody! I came to the library to research a few things and figured I would add my 2 cents here.
Abeliever I read your stuff a few pages back as always thanks!
The ever-sweetness we know as Misty Eyed hello to you!
Oglala, Betty, Nope Ima wavin to all of you too!
Last BNL....HOWLS it goin Wolf?
A little wish for all of you...Love and peace of mind neighbors....Sleep well
Since: Jan 10
#89273 May 10, 2013
Reckon I'm outta here for now.
#89274 May 10, 2013
All statements about any groups of peoples are null and void with me. Those type statements only propigate hatred and bigotry regardless of whether they are full of truths or not. Jesus told us to love our neighbor. He did not say to love everyone except the Zionists, Masons, Catholics, Protestants, Blacks, Whites, Orientals, Cowboys, or Indians.
Since: Mar 11
#89275 May 10, 2013
It's wonderful to hear from you again. Here's a little tip. If you peek in and find a ghost thread, leave a comment anyway. It draws everyone out and we respond.
We may take a break, but we are never really gone.
#89276 May 10, 2013
Think I finally fell asleep around 4 a.m. Today has been one of those I need a swift kick in the wazoo to get going. Just read an article from a Harvard study about better sleep.Anyway after about 8 weeks of yoga, it was found that people had an improvement in their sleep patterns. No sugar, eating carbohydrates before bedtime will also help. I believe, relaxation is the key to a peaceful sleep. Though the heart, diabetes and menopause affects sleep as well so I am SOL, ol menapause is knocking...
@ Blue, sounds like you are doing well. A tablet sure would help you access the internet. It might eliminate having to use public services which are limited. The Nexus7 is around $250 ;) You take care. May life give you goodness and peace.
Rained earlier, has been cloudy all day. The birds keep singing their pretty tunes...Hope goes on. Bless you All, have a pleasant evening and restful night.
#89277 May 10, 2013
we have been burning coal for along time and I hate to say this but if you sre down on coal burning turn off your electricity. cause most of our power comes from coal
#89278 May 10, 2013
Hello fellow bird threaders. Lot to catch up with.
betty, I only work 5 hours a day, got early schedule so I can have most of the day to do whatever. You know it sucks if you have been there, but it is easy money, something to do. It is always better when you know you don't need it to pay your bills and you have benefits earned from retirement. I know allot of people there, so it is fun too. I have been going to watch my son's games in the evenings, lots of fun as well.
Whoever had the spam recipes, please post some, maybe I could be swayed to try it. I put spam up there with potted meat, mackeral, and vienna sausages. YUK, haha If it was a slam at my posts, get use to it, I post it anyway. lol
AW, lala, misty eyed, "Nope", and belie, enjoyed your posts.
Hempburn, stop in more often. We miss you. How is bisquit doing? Hope your are enjoying the BBQ and Harley riding weather. I have.
Blueminer, happy to see you back and glad you enjoyed my posts. Hope your Dad, family and job is going well.
Did anyone catch all the chemspraying they were doing yesterday? I left the house around 8, they were spraying, headed home after work and grocery shopping around 2:30 they were still spraying. Wonder what's up with that besides all the rain today. The sun is shining bright now though.
I hope all of you have a wonderful evening.
Let's see if I am in Kentucky yet. haha
#89279 May 10, 2013
Guess they think I am still in Tennessee. haha
This is a trip:
Watch these bald eagles throw a party in an Alaskan parking lot
Nothing weird about cops breaking up a rowdy party except when it's a convocation of bald eagles doing the partying. This video shows what happened after a pickup truck driver left some garbage bags full of fish in the bed of his vehicle while it was parked in a supermarket lot in the Alaskan city of Unalaska. Figuring someone had left them some party snacks, around 40 eagles swooped in. Police officer Bill Simms scared some of the eagles away with his siren, then joined the gathering to chase the rest away. The truck's owner wasn't cited because the eagles' fish feeding frenzy didn't make a mess making them cleaner than the guests at every party you ever threw.
Guess they swooped in for a free meal. lol
#89280 May 10, 2013
17 funny animals that have absolutely no idea what's going on
The world is a confusing place for animals. How is an unwitting dog supposed to know that the suspiciously still face he's gazing at is just a woman on a magazine? And how could a cat possibly know that the frightening vortex that sometimes reveals ghostly kitties from another world is actually just a mirror? Click through this gallery of funny pet GIFs to see the best example of pets totally freaking out for no good reason.
#89281 May 10, 2013
All I can say on this one is WOW. Bless her heart, she's got it going on. This is amazing.
This 86 year-old woman has strength and skills SO amazing, you really won't believe your eyes when you see what she can do!
You HAVE to watch her incredible gymnastics routine!
#89282 May 10, 2013
Any of you watched the movie "The Bay"? LMBO!!
#89283 May 10, 2013
Another interesting find on FB. AW probably knows most of these great tricks.
What IS The Main Ingredient of WD-40?
Before you read to the end, does anybody know what the main ingredient of WD-40?
WD-40 ~ Who knew!
I had a neighbor who bought a new pickup.
I got up very early one Sunday morning and saw that someone had spray painted red all around the sides of this beige truck (for some unknown reason).
I went over, woke him up, and told him the bad news.
He was very upset and was trying to figure out what to do....
probably nothing until Monday morning, since nothing was open.
Another neighbor came out and told him to get his WD-40 and clean it off.
It removed the unwanted paint beautifully and did not harm his paint job that was on the truck. I was impressed!
WD-40 who knew?
"Water Displacement #40".
The product began from a search for a rust preventative solvent and degreaser to protect missile parts.
WD-40 was created in 1953, by three technicians at the San Diego Rocket Chemical Company.
Its name comes from the project that was to find a 'Water Displacement' Compound.
They were finally successful for a formulation, with their fortieth attempt, thus WD-40.
The 'Convair Company' bought it in bulk to protect their atlas missile parts.
Ken East (one of the original founders) says there is nothing in WD-40 that would hurt you.
When you read the 'shower door' part, try it.
It's the first thing that has ever cleaned that spotty shower door.
If yours is plastic, it works just as well as on glass.
It's a miracle!
Then try it on your stovetop.
It's now shinier than it's ever been.
You'll be amazed.
1. Protects silver from tarnishing.
2. Removes road tar and grime from cars.
3. Cleans and lubricates guitar strings.
4. Gives floor that 'just-waxed' sheen without making them slippery.
5. Keeps the flies off of Cows, Horses, and other Farm Critters, as well.(Ya gotta love this one!!!)
6. Restores and cleans chalkboards.
7. Removes lipstick stains.
8. Loosens stubborn zippers.
9. Untangles jewelry chains.
10. Removes stains from stainless steel sinks.
11. Removes dirt and grime from the barbecue grill.
12. Keeps ceramic / terracotta garden pots from oxidizing.
13. Removes tomato stains from clothing.
14. Keeps glass shower doors free of water spots.
15. Camouflages scratches in ceramic and marble floors.
16. Keeps scissors working smoothly.
17. Lubricates noisy door hinges on both home and vehicles doors.
18. It removes that nasty tar and scuff marks from the kitchen flooring.
It doesn't seem to harm the finish and you won't have to scrub nearly as hard to get them off.
Just remember to open some windows if you have a lot of marks.
19. Remove those nasty Bug guts that will eat away the finish on your car if not removed quickly!
20. Gives a children's playground gym slide a shine for a super fast slide.
21. Lubricates gearshift and mower deck lever for ease of handling on riding mowers...
22. Rids kids rocking chair and swings of squeaky noises.
23. Lubricates tracks in sticking home windows and makes them easier to open.
24. Spraying an umbrella stem makes it easier to open and close.
25. Restores and cleans padded leather dashboards in vehicles, as well as vinyl bumpers.
26. Restores and cleans roof racks on vehicles.
27. Lubricates and stops squeaks in electric fans.
28. Lubricates wheel sprockets on tricycles, wagons, and bicycles for easy handling.
29. Lubricates fan belts on washers and dryers and keeps them running smoothly.
#89284 May 10, 2013
30. Keeps rust from forming on saws and saw blades, and other tools.
31. Removes grease splatters from stovetops.
32. Keeps bathroom mirror from fogging.
33. Lubricates prosthetic limbs.
34. Keeps pigeons off the balcony (they hate the smell).
35. Removes all traces of duct tape.
36. Folks even spray it on their arms, hands, and knees to relieve arthritis pain.
37. Florida's favorite use is:'cleans and removes love bugs from grills and bumpers.'
38. The favorite use in the state of New York, it protects the Statue of Liberty from the elements.
39. WD-40 attracts fish. Spray a little on live bait or lures and you will be catching the big one in no time. Also, it's a lot cheaper than the chemical attractants that are made for just that purpose.
Keep in mind though, using some chemical laced baits or lures for fishing are not allowed in some states.
40. Use it for fire ant bites. It takes the sting away immediately and stops the itch.
41. It is great for removing crayon from walls. Spray it on the marks and wipe with a clean rag.
42. Also, if you've discovered that your teenage daughter has washed and dried a tube of lipstick with a load of laundry, saturate the lipstick spots with WD-40 and rewash. Presto! The lipstick is gone!
43. If you spray it inside a wet distributor cap, it will displace the moisture, allowing the engine to start.
As for that Basic, Main Ingredient.......
Well.... it's FISH OIL....
Great tips, even for the hater slamming my posts. haha
Since: Mar 11
#89285 May 10, 2013
Glad to see you back. How's the job going. Thought you were retiring from your after retirement job. LOL Always busy, heh?
Since: Mar 11
#89286 May 10, 2013
@ Abeliever: Stunning info. about WD-40. It's base is really fish oil?? Interesting.
Since: Mar 11
#89287 May 10, 2013
You are absolutely right, but most people don't think of this.
#89288 May 10, 2013
Kroger- parking spot two down from handicaps. nice older lady waiting with a box of napkins for my specs and a dry cart. store was busy and they were swapping some things around but i found everything and was in and out in an hour. 113 items....53.94 not too shabby!
Walmart..... parking lot was crowded. nearest spot was on the side about twenty back. my mom called so i had a nice excuse to stay in the car. dropped hubby off at the door with a list and made about fifteen loops. only two items i needed were in stock. 33.96???? geez....
and they wonder why their sales are down. hmmm.... could it be empty shelves and two trucks worth of stuff in the back or maybe its the droves of people and twenty closed registers and only eight open ones and lines six carts back even in the express and u-scans. or the cashiers that still ask you to point out every sale in the ad your matching from even though their commercial maintains that you no longer need the ad to match it. and these days even some of the nice elderly greeters are bitter....don't blame them. the way they work some of their employees is deplorable. i would be bitter too....especially knowing their is a nice cushy Kroger union job across the street where even the stock boys start at 9 an hour.
sorry...off the soap box now.
@ogala- i agree with you about the slowing down in the thread..... i still read up every few days during my lengthier absences.... just nothing to add other than a hello.... i think a lot of people do the same. i would love to get on here soon and see some hellos from lsd923- little Leona is probably almost two now. would love to hear about what she is getting into.lol some people call it the terrible twos... but since i don't have my own children (except the meows and wigglers who seem to be stuck in that stage permanently) i love every thing about that age. some of the funniest and best moments in my life have been spent with my nephew and my friends toddlers. i would also love to see jpf/ojg drop in- itching to have a little talk about Korea and Syria. wouldn't mind one bit to see the specialist drop a big pile of horse dung on here either. or prepper and peace.
@ab- i only lasted about a month. i got forty hours training and then 10 hours a week after that. i liked the people who worked there but i will that my furry customers over the ones you get there any day. but like you said...something to do. when i worked at pizza hut last year they kept me in the back...lol my first day a guy with a complex and huge chip came in and tracked mud all over the place and cussed his server and i told him to take his mess with him. after that my sister had me strictly baking pizzas. i worked many years as a sales SSOMM at a wireless company and somewhere along the line i think i got burnt out on people. in the beginning it was nice...all the commission but by the time i left that job one could walk in and read my face and tell i was ready to go.
well off that soap box too i guess.
have a good evening everyone.
#89289 May 10, 2013
lol....if that ends up being a double post sorry, typed out a couple hours ago and forgot to hit the button at the end and i came back later and there it was, tried to send and it kicked me back to the beginning page.
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