Well, hon, if it takes a restraining order then get one. That little guy needs his Momma, but he doesn't need to be exposed to what her company causes as far as emotional confusion and what he's going to perceive as her abandonment sometime in the future anyway. There's no way around the fact that he's going to eventually realize that she found the drugs more important than he was. Sad to say, but he's going to face that one day anyway. It's what he's been dealt.<quoted text>
I am worried about it being worse than jail. She's a addict and has very bad social behavior. We have spent years and years trying to help her, but to no avail. We can't have her live with us any longer because she would inflict terrible emotional trauma on our little guy. She's his momma. You can imagine how tough things were and still are, because we had to adopt him to prevent him from going into foster care. He's a great little boy, and we love him dearly, but we can't expose him to her negative influence. We do let her see him when she has been relatively calm and not strung out. Yes, we need prayers, lots of them. We're getting too old to put up with her issues.
Personally, I'd tell her to stay gone until she gets cleaned up. Offer her nothing except a warm meal and a pair of warm shoes. Nothing says that in this case, Goodwill clothing isn't good enough for her either. Give her NOTHING except what she can wear, or what she can eat in your presence outside of the house. And no receipts for clothing, she'd just return it for the cash. Don't even let her know where you bought it if you do get new merchandise for her to wear. I swear, if I was in your place it would be thrift store or Goodwill clothing if she needed it... And if you are doing so, stop paying her rent, her gas, her utilities or anything else that is enabling her to continue her way of life.
She needs rehab, but until a person admits to and accepts rehab treatment, there is nothing anyone can do.
I hate to tell you this, but I've had my fair share of addicts as friends. Eventually you just have to let them go much like a balloon into the air. Hopefully she'll clean herself up before it's too late and you are planning a funeral. But until she gets as low as she can possibly go, she'll keep clawing a the both of you for support. You're going to have to draw a line and cut her loose.
I know it's hard, it'll be the hardest thing you'll ever do. In the end, she's an adult and will do what she wants to. All you can do,(or any of us for that matter), is pray that she wakes up before it's too late to save her.
She's gonna have to do this one on her own. Quit being a stopping off point and her last resort when she only needs something. Once she runs out of last resorts, she'll finally hit that bed of rocks and hopefully reach out for REAL help instead of an instant fix.