Who do you support for Governor in Te...
WHY

Hondo, TX

#19843 Sep 3, 2014
TEST

“Free to be me and you!”

Since: Aug 14

Tampa, FL

#19844 Sep 3, 2014
WHY wrote:
TEST
Is that the only word you know?????????
WHY

El Paso, TX

#19845 Sep 3, 2014
Liberal forever wrote:
<quoted text>Is that the only word you know?????????
No, I know a few others too - in fact I wanted to ask you something, if you don't mind. I was hoping that as a nurse you could give me some advice. I’ve been trying to find a solution to a problem I’ve been having in the bedroom. Basically, I am looking for something to give my dingle less tingle. A friend suggested I try an herbal tea that is sold at an Oriental market down the street. When I went in there, the clerk did not speak English but I understood her to say that a massage with acupuncture might help me out.

I was reluctant, but I was desperate for a cure, so I went in and laid down on the table after I stripped down, butt naked. In walks this petite Orienta with her hair back in a bun. Without saying a word, she began to rub some kind of lotion on me. I assumed it would be baby oil, but it smelled like jasmie and rose hips. She poured a bunch on my back and started working it into my flesh, but it seemed like too much so I said,“You’re a little heavy on the butter, aren’t you honey?” She again said nothing but continued to work on my back.

Eventually, I started relax and when she took her hands off me to reach for the acupuncture needles, I turned to look at her, intending to ask if it would hurt. When I did so, I received the shock of my life as “she” was sporting a huge tent pole in her pants! Apparently it was not a petite Orienta at all but rather some skinny dude with his long hair pulled back into a bun.

I wasn’t about to let some dude rub and touch me since I don’t have a gay bone in my body, so I jumped up and ran out of there, not even stopping to grab my clothes. I ran out of the parlor and down the street towards my house, totally buck naked. I eventually made it home but not before sprinting through an intersection and dodging cars as I did so. I was relieved to make it home but then a few days later, I received a ticket in the mail because I had run a red light in my haste and the red light camera had caught me. As if the ticket wasn’t bad enough, it was accompanied by a photo of me fully nude with my pecker flopping in the breeze.

So that brings me back to my initial question. Since I didn’t find any solution there, do you know of any remedy as a nurse to help me out? Thanks a lot in advance.
Gasman

United States

#19846 Sep 3, 2014
Liberal forever wrote:
<quoted text>
I am going to watch and study the S SEx pert as my cousin sells himself as a SS Historian..
Perv!

Dont forget to study the F FArts as well....
Defiant1

Deer Park, TX

#19847 Sep 3, 2014
What I say xoxo wrote:
<quoted text>
You make the statement that the Democrats were duped but it is noted how you did not put a reference as to where you came up with that idea because it is not true. Both sides agreed to this war and they were both equally to blame in it. I gave you the exact quotes and they are correct. I did make an error about the full total of casualties but I had it correct about the number killed under Bush and now that was just more to add on the causalities under this incompetent leader we have now. No, you go troll somewhere else Sissy!
Typically, when a turd like fubar makes a statement like that, I like to point out how they considered Bush a moron, so that must make the 29 Dumbocrats who voted to invade Iraq even dumber.

Fubar can't stand to hear bad things about HIS MESSiah, the Pee Wee Herman of DC, A.K.A. Bathhouse Barry.
Defiant1

Deer Park, TX

#19848 Sep 3, 2014
WHY wrote:
<quoted text>
No, I know a few others too - in fact I wanted to ask you something, if you don't mind. I was hoping that as a nurse you could give me some advice. I’ve been trying to find a solution to a problem I’ve been having in the bedroom. Basically, I am looking for something to give my dingle less tingle. A friend suggested I try an herbal tea that is sold at an Oriental market down the street. When I went in there, the clerk did not speak English but I understood her to say that a massage with acupuncture might help me out.
I was reluctant, but I was desperate for a cure, so I went in and laid down on the table after I stripped down, butt naked. In walks this petite Orienta with her hair back in a bun. Without saying a word, she began to rub some kind of lotion on me. I assumed it would be baby oil, but it smelled like jasmie and rose hips. She poured a bunch on my back and started working it into my flesh, but it seemed like too much so I said,“You’re a little heavy on the butter, aren’t you honey?” She again said nothing but continued to work on my back.
Eventually, I started relax and when she took her hands off me to reach for the acupuncture needles, I turned to look at her, intending to ask if it would hurt. When I did so, I received the shock of my life as “she” was sporting a huge tent pole in her pants! Apparently it was not a petite Orienta at all but rather some skinny dude with his long hair pulled back into a bun.
I wasn’t about to let some dude rub and touch me since I don’t have a gay bone in my body, so I jumped up and ran out of there, not even stopping to grab my clothes. I ran out of the parlor and down the street towards my house, totally buck naked. I eventually made it home but not before sprinting through an intersection and dodging cars as I did so. I was relieved to make it home but then a few days later, I received a ticket in the mail because I had run a red light in my haste and the red light camera had caught me. As if the ticket wasn’t bad enough, it was accompanied by a photo of me fully nude with my pecker flopping in the breeze.
So that brings me back to my initial question. Since I didn’t find any solution there, do you know of any remedy as a nurse to help me out? Thanks a lot in advance.
That's easy. Just cut the damn thing off and go piss through a straw from now on.
why

Hondo, TX

#19849 Sep 3, 2014
test
WHY

El Paso, TX

#19850 Sep 3, 2014
Defiant1 wrote:
<quoted text>
That's easy. Just cut the damn thing off and go piss through a straw from now on.
I hadn't thought of that but if it works for you, maybe I'll give it a try. But how do you satisfy your wife without a wiener?
Defiant1

Deer Park, TX

#19851 Sep 3, 2014
WHY wrote:
<quoted text>
I hadn't thought of that but if it works for you, maybe I'll give it a try. But how do you satisfy your wife without a wiener?
The advice that I am giving you, is for you to try out. Don't thank me, I'm just providing useful advice as a free public service.
That Fart Guy

Katy, TX

#19852 Sep 3, 2014
Eat cauliflower and beans then fart in her face. If she passes out you can use the wooden serving spoon. Read that in some book called Decision Points, a memoir by former U.S. President George W. Bush.
Big dawg

Padre Island Ntl Seashor, TX

#19853 Sep 3, 2014
Dumbasses it's 2014 and Rick isn't running. This thread is dead.
Gasman

United States

#19854 Sep 4, 2014
Its all about the farts on here...
Bo Bo

Dallas, TX

#19855 Sep 4, 2014
Perry
fubar

Garden Grove, CA

#19856 Sep 5, 2014
What I say xoxo wrote:
<quoted text>
I have read where it wrote that it was a female and that is the only reason. I will assure you that you can not be sued for reporting nasty language or whatever is against their rules which they do not enforce. But also, I believe it is a waste of times since I have done that many times because of how she comes on after my posts with attacks. Myself, I am only reporting how she harasses me personally. I never saw the post she wrote about wanting to rape women who cross the border illegally someone else posted that to me trying to add fuel to the fire because it was obvious how I was being harassed already and just wanting more problems. I looked for a post like that and I couldn't find that but then that person who posted that said they removed it. I don't know and I don't give a you know what. It was fubar who posted to me about that she wrote and it did not even make any sense to do that. Except just to make trouble.
I have many relatives living in Texas and I was born in Texas and will someday go back there. But I have spent more time living in Az. and I was not raised to be a racist. My grandparents in Texas are the most gentle loving people a person would ever meet.
It made no sense to you because you and her and supertroll bigbadjohn were trying to bully me out of the room at the time. It was a mass troll attack, and I wanted you to know who you were in cahoots with. She did admit to you she said it. So why don't you drop it already. I have an excellent memory so please leave me out of your posts if you can't be truthful. Thank you for your cooperation in advance.
fubar

Garden Grove, CA

#19857 Sep 5, 2014
What I say xoxo wrote:
<quoted text>
You make the statement that the Democrats were duped but it is noted how you did not put a reference as to where you came up with that idea because it is not true. Both sides agreed to this war and they were both equally to blame in it. I gave you the exact quotes and they are correct. I did make an error about the full total of casualties but I had it correct about the number killed under Bush and now that was just more to add on the causalities under this incompetent leader we have now. No, you go troll somewhere else Sissy!
First off, how can I prove they were duped? That is an extremely stupid question, the answer is THERE WERE NO WMD s, no yellow cake uranium, no mobile chemical weapon laboratories, they were all lies. They voted based on the lies they were told, that is how people get duped. Your numbers on Iraq are still completely wrong, you are talking about Afghanistan, you know the place where Al Queda was operating out in the open in 2001. Iraq is the country with the vicious dictator who killed Al Qaeda members not only on sight but on rumor. The guy who had over a million Christians living peacefully in his country. He was the guy who tolerated no religious extremism in his country at ALL. The country we invaded based on proven lies. Iraq is the country where over 4,400 Americans died in a war to destabilize the entire middle east, which has opened the door for ISIS to fill the vacuum.

By the way I never said the cowardly dems that voted for the war were blameless, you just assumed that because you weren't paying attention. I have been honest with you,but typical right wing mentality, dictates you shouldn't reciprocate.
.
zzz

United States

#19858 Sep 5, 2014
fubar wrote:
<quoted text>First off, how can I prove they were duped? That is an extremely stupid question, the answer is THERE WERE NO WMD s, no yellow cake uranium, no mobile chemical weapon laboratories, they were all lies. They voted based on the lies they were told, that is how people get duped. Your numbers on Iraq are still completely wrong, you are talking about Afghanistan, you know the place where Al Queda was operating out in the open in 2001. Iraq is the country with the vicious dictator who killed Al Qaeda members not only on sight but on rumor. The guy who had over a million Christians living peacefully in his country. He was the guy who tolerated no religious extremism in his country at ALL. The country we invaded based on proven lies. Iraq is the country where over 4,400 Americans died in a war to destabilize the entire middle east, which has opened the door for ISIS to fill the vacuum.
By the way I never said the cowardly dems that voted for the war were blameless, you just assumed that because you weren't paying attention. I have been honest with you,but typical right wing mentality, dictates you shouldn't reciprocate.
.
Chemical WMD's were found nimrod where in the hell did you think GULF WAR SYNDROME came from?

@Donnie:
More crap from the crapmeister? Explain Obama ousting Hosni Mubarak and supporting Morsi a member of the Muslim Brotherhood a known terrorist organization and what happened to Egypt which was pro-western because of Obama support of Morsi? Christians murdered, Coptic Churches burned to the ground and widespread unrest and gross violence! This went on for months finally the Egyptian Military stepped in ousted the terrorists Morsi and the Muslim Brotherhood. Obama supported giving voice to Hamas another terrorist organization who is using UN built schools to warehouse rockets they lob into Israel. Hamas who sneak into Israel and board buses or other transit and blow themselves up so they can kill Jews. We know the money in aid that is sent to help the Palestinian People is used in terrorism but Obama still pushes giving more aid. UN concrete that was supposed to build houses, roads and schools instead is used for tunnels to commit terrorist acts against Israel. Our taxpayer dollars are funding terrorism!

Obama is the one who said Assad most go! Obama is the one who drew a red line that turned out to be joke! Obama doesn't have any coherent foreign policy but his actions/ inactions are spreading mayhem, more violence, explosion of terrorism across whole countries the entire M.E. is unstable. Saudis, Israel, Jordan, Turkey, and even the Kurds have expressed Obama can not be trusted! Libya has terrorist having a pool party in our former Embassy grounds. Turkey used to be a strong ally of America, Egypt used to be a strong ally of America, Jordan used to be a strong ally of America, Saudis used to be a strong ally of America, Israel used to be our strongest ally in the M.E. the list goes on and on and the difference is Obama's Foreign Policies compared to decades of foreign policies proceeding him!

This didn't start in 2003 this started in January 2009 and will continue until America can vote into office a different president who makes American interest FIRST and the American People welfare FIRST.

Obama's inaction in Iraq has caused destabilization in that entire country and ISIL is better financed, better equipped and Americans are their #1 target.
why

Hondo, TX

#19859 Sep 5, 2014
test
Anthony Borrego

El Paso, TX

#19860 Sep 5, 2014
zzz wrote:
<quoted text>
Chemical WMD's were found nimrod where in the hell did you think GULF WAR SYNDROME came from?
@Donnie:
More crap from the crapmeister? Explain Obama ousting Hosni Mubarak and supporting Morsi a member of the Muslim Brotherhood a known terrorist organization and what happened to Egypt which was pro-western because of Obama support of Morsi? Christians murdered, Coptic Churches burned to the ground and widespread unrest and gross violence! This went on for months finally the Egyptian Military stepped in ousted the terrorists Morsi and the Muslim Brotherhood. Obama supported giving voice to Hamas another terrorist organization who is using UN built schools to warehouse rockets they lob into Israel. Hamas who sneak into Israel and board buses or other transit and blow themselves up so they can kill Jews. We know the money in aid that is sent to help the Palestinian People is used in terrorism but Obama still pushes giving more aid. UN concrete that was supposed to build houses, roads and schools instead is used for tunnels to commit terrorist acts against Israel. Our taxpayer dollars are funding terrorism!
Obama is the one who said Assad most go! Obama is the one who drew a red line that turned out to be joke! Obama doesn't have any coherent foreign policy but his actions/ inactions are spreading mayhem, more violence, explosion of terrorism across whole countries the entire M.E. is unstable. Saudis, Israel, Jordan, Turkey, and even the Kurds have expressed Obama can not be trusted! Libya has terrorist having a pool party in our former Embassy grounds. Turkey used to be a strong ally of America, Egypt used to be a strong ally of America, Jordan used to be a strong ally of America, Saudis used to be a strong ally of America, Israel used to be our strongest ally in the M.E. the list goes on and on and the difference is Obama's Foreign Policies compared to decades of foreign policies proceeding him!
This didn't start in 2003 this started in January 2009 and will continue until America can vote into office a different president who makes American interest FIRST and the American People welfare FIRST.
Obama's inaction in Iraq has caused destabilization in that entire country and ISIL is better financed, better equipped and Americans are their #1 target.
The radicalization is not unique to ISIS. In America we hear often about how many groups are opposed to them, including terror outfits like Hamas. But it is not from a sense of moral outrage. A hyena does not object to a tiger because he is morally opposed to killing a gazelle. He objects because the tiger will keep all the meat. There are many paths to radicalization. This is one of them. And right now, it is the most dangerous one.

“This is Joyce”

Since: Dec 13

Location hidden

#19861 Sep 5, 2014
fubar wrote:
<quoted text>It made no sense to you because you and her and supertroll bigbadjohn were trying to bully me out of the room at the time. It was a mass troll attack, and I wanted you to know who you were in cahoots with. She did admit to you she said it. So why don't you drop it already. I have an excellent memory so please leave me out of your posts if you can't be truthful. Thank you for your cooperation in advance.
You DO have a poor memory and understanding of what you read and certainly I will leave your dumb azz out of my posts.
You are THE TROLL on here and if 3 people were against you it is you that believe that they were bulling you omg cry baby! I am alone but if I agree with someone I will usually let them know it.
I keep saying it that "you are a transient searching online for a lynch mob to join" because I have seen how you do and you troll all over topix only looking for trouble. Quickly showing up over anyone speaking out about ovomit or anyone having a disagreement you can poke into.

You were the one who posted on my post this ridiculous comment, but in the future I will ignore you even then because you are full of shi_. and that is just how it is. I suppose you will remember this if I show you cause I am quite sure you already forgot.
-someone posted and I answered them and not you.---------
#19632 Sunday Aug 24
What I say xoxo wrote:
<quoted text>
Believe me I am awake to this. We have the most deliberately incompetent president we have ever seen. Yes, we are in danger. Sometimes I believe this president wants a good many of us killed. We are screwed.

fubar wrote:
"If Saddaam Hussein had been left in power , there would be no ISIS and Syria would still be the peaceful country it d was previously. Saying someone is the most incompetent president ever is flippant at best and ignorant at worst. Obama has screwed the pooch, but he is hardly the first. Thank God Obama didn't listen to John McCain or ISIS would have even more American military equipment. Assassination is actually exactly who should be running Syria, and not a bunch of religious rebel arseholes."

Now try not to forget to stay off my posts since you said you would!
That Fart Guy

Katy, TX

#19862 Sep 5, 2014
And stop being anti-fart. I bet ISIS sniffs wet farts, they seem gay like that.

Tell me when this thread is updated:

Subscribe Now Add to my Tracker

Add your comments below

Characters left: 4000

Please note by submitting this form you acknowledge that you have read the Terms of Service and the comment you are posting is in compliance with such terms. Be polite. Inappropriate posts may be removed by the moderator. Send us your feedback.

Bandera Discussions

Title Updated Last By Comments
Cleaning Up Ham Radio in San Antonio (Aug '10) 51 min Tony 5,352
ISO Mechanic or car shop 1 hr Jeep owner 1
Beaner Pedo 10 hr Johnny AKA Drian 6
Avant talent agency 10 hr Curious 1
Feathers Ruffled 10 hr Cool hand Luke 3
new in town 16 hr Johnny AKA Drian 3
"Texas Auto Services" (Auto Value Experts) (May '10) 20 hr Borne TX 18
More from around the web

Personal Finance

Bandera Mortgages