Why I Vote Democrat
Posted in the Aztec Forum
#1 Dec 22, 2013
Why I vote Democrat…..
I vote Democrat because I think it's okay if our federal government borrows $85 Billion every single month.
I vote Democrat because I care about the children ... but saddling them with trillions of dollars of debt to pay for my bloated leftist government is okay.
I vote Democrat because I think it's better to pay billions of dollars to people who hate us rather than drill for our own oil, because it might upset some endangered beetle or gopher.
I vote Democrat because I believe it is okay if liberal activist judges rewrite the Constitution to suit some fringe kooks, who would otherwise never get their agenda past the voters.
I vote Democrat because I believe that corporate America should not be allowed to make profits for themselves or their shareholders. They need to break even and give the rest to the federal government for redistribution.
I vote Democrat because I'm not concerned about millions of babies being aborted, so long as we keep all of the murderers on death row alive.
I vote Democrat because I believe it's okay if my Nobel Peace Prize winning President uses drones to assassinate people, as long as we don't use torture.
I vote Democrat because I believe people, who can't accurately tell us if it will rain on Friday, can predict the polar ice caps will melt away in ten years if I don't start driving a Chevy Volt.
I vote Democrat because Freedom of Speech is not as important as preventing people from being offended.
I vote Democrat because I believe the oil companies' profit of 3% on a gallon of gas is obscene, but the federal government taxing that same gallon of gas at 15% isn't obscene.
I vote Democrat because I believe a moment of silent prayer at the beginning of the school day constitutes government indoctrination and an intrusion on parental authority ..... but sex education, condom distribution and multiculturalism are all values-neutral.
I vote Democrat because I agonize over threats to the natural environment from CO2, acid rain and toxic waste ..... but I am totally oblivious of the threats to our social environment from pornography, promiscuity and family dissolution.
I vote Democrat because I believe lazy, uneducated stoners should have just as big a say in running our country as entrepreneurs who risk everything and work 70 hours per week.
I vote Democrat because I don't like guns ..... so no one else should be allowed to own one.
I vote Democrat because I see absolutely no correlation between welfare and the rise of illegitimacy.
I vote Democrat because I see absolutely no correlation between judicial leniency and surging crime rates.
I vote Democrat because I believe you don't need an ID to vote but you do to buy beer.
I vote Democrat because I believe marriage is obsolete, except for homosexuals.
I vote Democrat because I think AIDS is spread by insufficient funding.
I vote Democrat because I think "fairness" is far more important than freedom.
I vote Democrat because I think an "equal outcome" is far more important than equal opportunity.
And lastly, I vote Democrat because I'm convinced that government programs are the solution to the human condition, NOT freedom.
#2 Dec 23, 2013
I vote republican because I dodged the draft.
I vote republican because I like to shoot my guns in the air, straight up.
I vote republican cause I a hunter.
I vote republican, whoops I just *hit my pants.
Seriously. "I'm above all the rules I invent for others."
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