You can't even wear a mask in October without the pigs coming after you? Ridiculous!

What's next? Tales of how the local police bravely beat down and subdued hordes of "ghouls" walking around the town on October 31, apparently stealing candy from citizens?

And who are these folk who feel it necessary to call the police just because they see a person at the side of the road?

Everyone in Groton needs to get a hobby.