N.J. gay couples looking for a civil union 'dissolution' find it's harder than 'divorce'

Dec 31, 2009 | Posted by: Rick in Kansas | Full story: www.nj.com

For same-sex couples unhappy in their civil unions, breaking up is hard to do. For starters, ending a civil union is called "dissolution," not "divorce," and legal experts say the difference between those two words has created confusion over which laws and cases apply to civil unions.

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1 - 20 of 30 Comments Last updated Mar 7, 2010
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Since: Aug 08

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#1
Dec 31, 2009
 

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It's strange that it's so hard for a gay couple to divorce or disolve their union when the U.S. is so against legal recognition of gay couples. You think the judges would have it done in less than a minute since "the people" don't like them legally bound anyhow.

Since: Nov 08

Saint Cloud, MN

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#2
Dec 31, 2009
 

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yet another reason that marriage equality is so important. Legal precedents.

It's about so much more than just the words
"marriage" "civil unions" and "domestic partnerships."

It's about so much more than what the bigots claim is some selfish "gay agenda" when we push for marriage equality.

this article illustrates that perfectly.
Mona Lott

Elizabeth, NJ

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#3
Dec 31, 2009
 

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I will fight to the death for the right of gay people to get married, but for the life of me, I cannot understand why ANYONE, gay or straight, would want to get tangled up in the legal mess that is marriage. 50% of marriages end in divorce, and that's a conservative estimate.
Marriage is out-dated and in desperate need of a complete legal overhaul. It's cheap to get married and VERY EXPENSIVE to get a divorce, or "dissolved" as the case may be.

Why do gay folks want to be as miserable as heteros?

“Equality First”

Since: Jan 09

St. Louis, MO

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#4
Dec 31, 2009
 
Mona Lott wrote:
I will fight to the death for the right of gay people to get married, but for the life of me, I cannot understand why ANYONE, gay or straight, would want to get tangled up in the legal mess that is marriage. 50% of marriages end in divorce, and that's a conservative estimate.
Marriage is out-dated and in desperate need of a complete legal overhaul. It's cheap to get married and VERY EXPENSIVE to get a divorce, or "dissolved" as the case may be.
Why do gay folks want to be as miserable as heteros?
I can answer that. My spouse and I have been together 32 years. We would welcome the legal protections, rather than have to spend thousands on legal documents. Because even after having wills, trusts, etc. drawn up, one of our families could easily come in and walk away with 1/2 of our wealth on the death of one of us. Courts in MO have a very nasty habil of doing this to gay people. And hat is just one aspect. There is hospital visitation, power to speak for each other, and a multitude of other protections. Since we have been together so long, I highly doubt we are going to suddenly seperate now. You have to remember, most of us don't have kids, so we have stayed together because we love each other, not for any other reason.
Mitricks Kilgore

York, PA

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#5
Dec 31, 2009
 
equalityboy81 wrote:
It's strange that it's so hard for a gay couple to divorce or disolve their union when the U.S. is so against legal recognition of gay couples. You think the judges would have it done in less than a minute since "the people" don't like them legally bound anyhow.
People just dont like gay people in general.

“TMA&CRR One Love One Marriage ”

Since: Sep 09

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#6
Dec 31, 2009
 
Mona Lott wrote:
I will fight to the death for the right of gay people to get married, but for the life of me, I cannot understand why ANYONE, gay or straight, would want to get tangled up in the legal mess that is marriage. 50% of marriages end in divorce, and that's a conservative estimate.
Marriage is out-dated and in desperate need of a complete legal overhaul. It's cheap to get married and VERY EXPENSIVE to get a divorce, or "dissolved" as the case may be.
Why do gay folks want to be as miserable as heteros?
not everyone will get divorced...

“TMA&CRR One Love One Marriage ”

Since: Sep 09

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#7
Dec 31, 2009
 
Mitricks Kilgore wrote:
<quoted text>People just dont like gay people in general.
Why??

Since: Mar 09

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#8
Dec 31, 2009
 
Mona Lott wrote:
I will fight to the death for the right of gay people to get married, but for the life of me, I cannot understand why ANYONE, gay or straight, would want to get tangled up in the legal mess that is marriage. 50% of marriages end in divorce, and that's a conservative estimate.
Marriage is out-dated and in desperate need of a complete legal overhaul. It's cheap to get married and VERY EXPENSIVE to get a divorce, or "dissolved" as the case may be.
Why do gay folks want to be as miserable as heteros?
Only a fraction of a percentage point of beginning violin students go on to play in symphony orchestra. An extrememly smaller percentage make it to concert master. Fewer still who can be soloists. Only the most select minority of all are the stars.

Those of our community who get married and succeed at it are our stars, just as they are among the hetero community. They are living masters in the arts of partner selection, commitment, interpersonal problem solving and love.

We all should shoot for the stars. The attempt makes us better people.

Since: Mar 07

The entire US of A

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#9
Jan 1, 2010
 
Mitricks Kilgore wrote:
<quoted text>People just dont like gay people in general.
That's a silly comment.
Every gay person in the world today has friends, co-workers, family, etc.
Most people aren't worried about whether or not someone can only be atttracted to the same gender.

Since: Mar 07

The entire US of A

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#10
Jan 1, 2010
 
Mona Lott wrote:
I will fight to the death for the right of gay people to get married, but for the life of me, I cannot understand why ANYONE, gay or straight, would want to get tangled up in the legal mess that is marriage. 50% of marriages end in divorce, and that's a conservative estimate.
Marriage is out-dated and in desperate need of a complete legal overhaul. It's cheap to get married and VERY EXPENSIVE to get a divorce, or "dissolved" as the case may be.
Why do gay folks want to be as miserable as heteros?
My parents were married, and happy. I want what they had. And I believe I've found it.

Marriage brings joy, if it it entered into with love, and maintained with love and commitment, and a bit of sacrifice tossed in.
tucka

Ridgewood, NJ

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#11
Jan 3, 2010
 
"People just dont like gay people in general."

Excuse me? So gay people don't constitute as people now? What an ignorant generalization and dehumanization of a great portion of people!
K Ridge construction

Mount Laurel, NJ

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#12
Jan 6, 2010
 
Jan 4, 2008
by DMI I, without question, recommend K-Ridge. Kurt made my dream kitchen a reality. From start to finish the job was handled professionally. The crew was wonderful and it was very apparent that they take pride in their work. Kurt stayed in touch with me...(More) I, without question, recommend K-Ridge. Kurt made my dream kitchen a reality. From start to finish the job was handled professionally. The crew was wonderful and it was very apparent that they take pride in their work. Kurt stayed in touch with me daily. The whole process of adding on the addition to the finishing touches was done masterfully.

Since: Mar 09

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#13
Jan 6, 2010
 
Mitricks Kilgore wrote:
<quoted text>People just dont like gay people in general.
Let me guess ... the ones who DO like us aren't "people" ? SO here in California, the 48%(3,524,587) that voted for us aren't really people?

What, exactly, are they?
Mona Lott

Elizabeth, NJ

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#14
Jan 6, 2010
 
RalphB wrote:
<quoted text>
I can answer that. My spouse and I have been together 32 years. We would welcome the legal protections, rather than have to spend thousands on legal documents. Because even after having wills, trusts, etc. drawn up, one of our families could easily come in and walk away with 1/2 of our wealth on the death of one of us. Courts in MO have a very nasty habil of doing this to gay people. And hat is just one aspect. There is hospital visitation, power to speak for each other, and a multitude of other protections. Since we have been together so long, I highly doubt we are going to suddenly seperate now. You have to remember, most of us don't have kids, so we have stayed together because we love each other, not for any other reason.
Then move out of missouri, for God's sake! The place is a cesspool, filled with stupid people.

“Equality First”

Since: Jan 09

St. Louis, MO

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#15
Jan 7, 2010
 
Mona Lott wrote:
<quoted text>
Then move out of missouri, for God's sake! The place is a cesspool, filled with stupid people.
I will be moving. However, my spouse his in his 60's, as am I. I am retired, but he has a very high-paying, responsible position, and I am not about to leave til he retires. We will be moving to England in about 3 years, unless he chooses to extend his working time. And yes, Missouri, like every other state in the union, has its' share of bigots. Unlike you, however, I do not condem an entire group of people (like all citizens of any given state). I have known and now know many people in Missouri who are fair and open-minded. The are educated, wonderfull people that I will miss when I leave here. But all that aside, I was answerning your question as to why gays want marriage. Your silly one-liners in response to people's answers will get us and you nowhere.
Mona Lott

Elizabeth, NJ

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#16
Jan 7, 2010
 
Travis A wrote:
<quoted text>
not everyone will get divorced...
50% chance of it happening....a mere flip of a coin.

Since: Mar 09

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#17
Jan 7, 2010
 
Mona Lott wrote:
<quoted text>
50% chance of it happening....a mere flip of a coin.
The number seems accurate if you merely count the marriages vs divorces. The number shifts when you count the persons. Many of those failed marriages are repeaters ... people who get married and divorced more than once, sometimes to the same person. The data would be more informative if the count included the number of repeaters. Nowhere have I ever read a statistic of the survival rate of post-divorce 2nd marriages.

“TMA&CRR One Love One Marriage ”

Since: Sep 09

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#18
Jan 7, 2010
 
snyper wrote:
<quoted text>
The number seems accurate if you merely count the marriages vs divorces. The number shifts when you count the persons. Many of those failed marriages are repeaters ... people who get married and divorced more than once, sometimes to the same person. The data would be more informative if the count included the number of repeaters. Nowhere have I ever read a statistic of the survival rate of post-divorce 2nd marriages.
it also doesn't include gay marriages...

“Equality First”

Since: Jan 09

St. Louis, MO

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#19
Jan 7, 2010
 
Travis A wrote:
<quoted text>
it also doesn't include gay marriages...
Our enemies would fear those statistics. Not to say we are any better, but legal marriage has not been around for us as long. I wonder what the average lenght of a marriage is in the U.S., anyway.

“Equality First”

Since: Jan 09

St. Louis, MO

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#20
Jan 7, 2010
 
To answer my own question, as of 2002 the average marriage lasted just under 8 years. I'm not sure how long same-sex marriage has been in existence in the U.S. (I could probably find it), but I would imagine it is getting close to that. I suppose the figures will be available in a year or two. I will have to try to remember to keep an eye on it to see how we stack up against the competition.

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