How can you be friends with an ex without taking it any further?

Posted in the Ashland Forum

Comments
1 - 20 of 20 Comments Last updated Jan 29, 2013
Inquisitiveme

Cincinnati, OH

#1 Jan 28, 2013
I just broke up with my boyfriend about a week ago because I have issues trusting him as he's going through a divorce with 2 kids and he's tied to them for life. But I still care about him and he's still in love with me. I just didn't feel like it was healthy for either of us for me to still not be able to trust him. He broke my trust months ago and is trying to get it back. I want to be friends for a while and maybe date him later. I need to know him on a friend level and hopefully that will help. But everytime we try and slow things down we just miss each other and move too fast all over again. What can I do? We play music together and have the same friends so it's near impossible to cut off ties so that's not an option. Ugh. Thanks.
10 minutes ago - 4 days left to answer.
What

Ashland, KY

#2 Jan 28, 2013
You broke up with a boyfriend a week ago, and he is going through a divorce and he has children.
If I understood how you wrote this statement you were having an affair with a married man, you both were committing adultery, and you were probably behind the destruction of a marriage and a family.
Neither one of you should date either, and you don't ever date a married person, that is sinful and wrong at so many levels, and there is no excuses for it.
Sin and evil, and betrayal, gives birth to sin and evil and betrayal.
Inquisitiveme

Cincinnati, OH

#5 Jan 28, 2013
NONONONONO! I wasn't having an affair! They filed a long time ago and she gave me the ok to be with him! I'd never do such a thing! Eek. I did word that wrong.
Inquisitiveme

Cincinnati, OH

#6 Jan 28, 2013
Again I have to reitterate this. Legally separated. Filed for divorce. Her and the family said go for it they've been done for a while. They just can't afford it. I'm the one probably getting screwed!
Inquisitiveme

Cincinnati, OH

#7 Jan 28, 2013
[QUOTE who="T.T."]Wait til his divorce is finalized & then go from there. You have to stay strong and don't put yourself in a situation where you are around him alone.[/QUOTE]

Good idea.
Broken

Ashland, KY

#8 Jan 28, 2013
You bible bangers are all the same. smh
What wrote:
You broke up with a boyfriend a week ago, and he is going through a divorce and he has children.
If I understood how you wrote this statement you were having an affair with a married man, you both were committing adultery, and you were probably behind the destruction of a marriage and a family.
Neither one of you should date either, and you don't ever date a married person, that is sinful and wrong at so many levels, and there is no excuses for it.
Sin and evil, and betrayal, gives birth to sin and evil and betrayal.
Judge Judy

Russell, KY

#9 Jan 28, 2013
You can take a friendship to the next level, but you can't make a relationship into a friendship after you've crossed that line.
Inquisitiveme

Cincinnati, OH

#10 Jan 28, 2013
Judge Judy wrote:
You can take a friendship to the next level, but you can't make a relationship into a friendship after you've crossed that line.
Oh dear.
BeautifulMess

Ashland, KY

#11 Jan 28, 2013
Inquisitiveme wrote:
<quoted text>
Oh dear.
I tend to agree with Judge Judy. There is no really going back.
Inquisitiveme

Cincinnati, OH

#12 Jan 28, 2013
:(
Not even for a little while?
Inquisitiveme

Cincinnati, OH

#13 Jan 28, 2013
Poop. Well I hope u guys are wrong. No offense!
Judge Judy

Russell, KY

#14 Jan 28, 2013
I mean...sure you could break the mold. That's a possibility. But if you keep holding on and it still doesn't work out, it's only gonna hurt you worse in the long run.
What

Ashland, KY

#15 Jan 28, 2013
Judge Judy wrote:
You can take a friendship to the next level, but you can't make a relationship into a friendship after you've crossed that line.
I am not a church goes neither do I read the Bible, so by no means am I as what you say a bible banger, but I believe you use that reference to offend, it didn't.
Adultery is wrong whether you believe in God or the Bible or not, no matter if your an atheist it is wrong to sleep or try to take someone else's spouse, they are bonded together, forever.
Sad

Ashland, KY

#16 Jan 28, 2013
I have issues trusting him as he's going through a divorce with 2 kids and he's tied to them for life.

if that is the way you feel, then walk away, because your right he is tied to them for life and they will always come first, no matter what.
Jades

Mount Morris, MI

#17 Jan 28, 2013
Broken wrote:
You bible bangers are all the same. smh<quoted text>
with that statement you make me believe that you only believe Christians and Bible bangers have morals and are against adultery and cheating.
Inquisitiveme

Cincinnati, OH

#18 Jan 29, 2013
What wrote:
<quoted text>
I am not a church goes neither do I read the Bible, so by no means am I as what you say a bible banger, but I believe you use that reference to offend, it didn't.
Adultery is wrong whether you believe in God or the Bible or not, no matter if your an atheist it is wrong to sleep or try to take someone else's spouse, they are bonded together, forever.
I'm glad your not a bible beater but I do wish you would read before you make accusations. Oh well I figured someone would take it there! Once again, it's not adultery bc the relationship was already ended man! Go back and read what I said bc I don't feel like standing up for myself to a bunch of ppl I don't know anyways.
What

Ashland, KY

#19 Jan 29, 2013
Suffice to say you don't have a dictionary, or maybe you don't have or understand the concept of marriage. A marriage doesn't end until a divorce is entered, before that a spouse is still married to their spouse.
When you are married you cannot make excuses why you can cheat, runaround, see other people or date, thats not marriage, thats swinging.
Marriage is a bond it is a partnership that two people agree to, not for one day or one week or one month, but forever, for better or for worse, through good times and bad

a·dul·ter·y
/&#601;&#712;d&#60 1;lt(&#601;)r&#275;/
Noun
Voluntary sexual intercourse between a married person and a person who is not his or her spouse.
Synonyms
fornication - misconduct - infidelity
personally

Ashland, KY

#20 Jan 29, 2013
I got in a relationship with a guy that had been divorced for about 4-5 months... It's hard trust me! It's hard to trust anyone now days! Kids will always come first you must accept that. And you must accept them. Baby momma will always be there, that was my hardest part. We are married now. Within the past he had lost my trust once but I thought of being in his shoes. He will always have love for her only cause that's the kids mother. She went through pain to have his kids. It's a tough situation you are in. Just take your time deff don't rush into anything! Take it as slow as possible. I hope things work out for the best!
personally

Ashland, KY

#21 Jan 29, 2013
He also has 2 kids.
Yea

Martin, OH

#22 Jan 29, 2013
I am divorced, I never cheated or committed adultery. Too my spouse I was never disloyal or did I ever betray, but my spouse she did.
When our children get older, I want them to be honest and loyal and never cheat or commit adultery on their spouses, as I being a parent I want then to have morals and trust and I do t want them to take marriage as a cheap and easy institute. I don't want to think of them being adulterers or whores, I don't want to think of them going from one bed to another, I don't people to think of them as trash.

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