Hi. I am in love with a married man. I'm pretty sure he feels or felt the same way. I recently got divorced from my husband of 5 years. Anyways, the married man that I am seeing is awesome. He makes me laugh, hell I can't stop smiling just seeing him or talking to him on the phone. He holds me like he never wants to let me go and those kisses just melt me. I want to be his. In the last week I have been going out a lot. Me and my friend decided one night to go to a bar. My friend gets really touchy-feely, well basicly just flat out horny when she is drunk. We were both pretty wasted and we started making out. She left a hickey on my neck and went down on me. I met my married man last night at our special spot and we were lovin on each other, it was wonderful! Then he saw the hickey. I didn't think he would notice because it was pretty faded. He freaked out about it and I got scared that I was gonna lose him. I lied to him and said I don't know where that came from! He knew I was lying. I finally texted him and told him the truth. Now he thinks that since I messed around he should be able to as well. I don't agree...two wrongs don't make a right! It would absolutely break my heart if he was with someone else besides me. Hell, I am having a hard enough time dealing with him fcking his wife! I have apologized to him numerous times. This is just tearing me up inside!I love him and want to spend the rest of my life with him. I feel miserable about what happened..I am swearing off of partying! I will never do that sht again! I need my boo back! I wish he would just tell me that everythings gonna be ok, that he forgives me...I love him with all my heart!