Amber Alert from the town of Arlington

April 30, 2008 4:50 p.m. ARLINGTON, Mass. Today, the Arlington Police Department is seeking Michael Whalen and Danielle Boyle who, after loosing parental custody, took their 6-month-old son Lucas Whalen.

[Parents arrested]

I hope Mr Whalen and Ms Boyle get custody of their child. Child Protection agencies in this country always get it wrong. They take the children away from the parents without helping to reunite families. They ruin lives. If Mr Whalen and Ms Boyle need help in being better parents that is what CPS is set up to do. Help the parents! But they never do. I wonder how these people in these agencies sleep at night. In my opinion what this couple did is a natural human factor. They want to be with their own flesh and blood. That baby belongs to them no matter what. Look at how many times CPS always gets it wrong. Look at how many children are sexually molested and injured and even murdered in foster care. These agencies make me sick.

[bebe]

Parents arrested wrote:

I hope Mr Whalen and Ms Boyle get custody of their child. Child Protection agencies in this country always get it wrong. They take the children away from the parents without helping to reunite families. They ruin lives. If Mr Whalen and Ms Boyle need help in being better parents that is what CPS is set up to do. Help the parents! But they never do. I wonder how these people in these agencies sleep at night. In my opinion what this couple did is a natural human factor. They want to be with their own flesh and blood. That baby belongs to them no matter what. Look at how many times CPS always gets it wrong. Look at how many children are sexually molested and injured and even murdered in foster care. These agencies make me sick.

I agree with you 100%.
I was a single mom and at age 15, my son was out of control he did not obey the house rules and was running around with the wrong croud vandalizing other people's property and smoking marijuana. I had another son at home who was a good boy and I was afraid that my oldest would do something in the street and my other son would pay because they looked so much alike. so I called child services to sstep in and help me. So I had him placed in temporary foster care to seek help for him I thought that they would place him in a decent home where he would get the help he needed. That was the biggest mistake of my life because my son was placed in a foster home in the worst neighborhood in Holyoke and he managed to drop out of school while in foster care and although I complained and asked for an investigation into that particular home nothing was done about that. He went down hill in a matter of 1 month. Later on in life my son tells me how his foster parents had him and the other 4 boys that lived in that foster home out in the street selling drugs for them. Until today I still kick myself for putting my son's future in the hands of the system.

[Jason]

If that was my kid the state was trying to steal they better be ready to kill me to get the kid.

[i know how u feel]

my daugther started acting up at 15 when dss took her she ran away from them lived on the street i looked for her at 2 and 3 am everyday not them . they told stay out of it stay home well find her well about 15 time i found her . i think dss should look in to thing before removing a child sometime they see us as a paycheck then people. now she has 2 kids at 19 i dont see dss helpping her i do thank god she over her trouble and have to say she a great mom NO THANK TO DSS.

[Seth]

Firstly, someone needs to learn how to spell....um Topix. Loosing?

These are great points. You people should tell your stories so that people understand what goes on behind the scenes. I'm not giving any credit to DSS but they aren't all to blame. We live in a missed up society of legalistic, media controlled, backstabbing, reactionary paranoia. Instead of building communities, instilling values of caring and concern and seeing parents like yourselves as people who need tools and resources, we just 'react' and then get 'outraged' over everything.

Most disturbing: We go through these immense gyrations to 'help children', yet as soon as those children become teenagers or young adults, we suddenly stop caring about their problems and start using them as scapegoats against which we have to protect the 'next generation' of children (who in a few years we will start not caring about, once again).

[Richard]

I really wish that fathers were involved in their daughters' life to make sure that they are savvy enough to avoid hooking up with substandard men. As a father of two daughters I never let them know what kind of jerks are out there and how to spot the traits that most women do not see when looking through rose-colored glasses. And mothers need to stop spoiling their sons. All they do is turn them into self-centered, narcisstic, lousy husbands/boyfriends. Finally, when one has a child, no job will ever be as important as raising that child; it's the most difficult job and, when done right, the most rewarding. You always have to put your best effort into parenting and continually evaluate yourself to make sure that your are on the right path. The most important gifts you give your child is a high standard of values, discipline (because without discipline, a child never learns self-discipline), absolute love and confidence. Children who grow up with parents who stress these things and live their lives in the same manner generally do just fine. Parents, it is so worth the effort to be the best parent you can be. That doesn't mean being your kid's buddy, that means being his/her parent.

[asiah]

those people are sick they need to be sentence for a long period of time

[asiah]

in a way that is good cause these teens now and day need alot from there parents

[Dani]

Did anyone consider the child in question here, in their post? A child that is so young, he is incapable of declaring how he feels in this situation. The purpose of Child Protective Services is to be the voice for these children, who do not have one. In this society where children are seen and not heard. Perhaps in an idealistic world, it would be better for these children to remain with the biological parents, however, we do not live in that type of world. The agency is here to protect the children, as best they know how. Is that any different than what we do as parents. Protect, love, guide and nurture our children, "as best we know how?" I do not know the situation behind this particular child, I just happened to see the Amber Alert posted from some family I have there, and I was looking for an update to the situation. So I came across all these posts and was flaberghast at some of the responses. So I wanted to share my opinion a bit. While some of the responses, there are points I agree with. Biology does not make you a good parent. Just because your a biological parents doesn't mean you will not make mistakes. Obviously in this situation, the CPS feels that there have been mistakes made, enough of them, to declare an Amber Alert. Should the state agencies institute a program for parents seeking help, receive it? Of course they should. In the meantime though, I think the safest recourse is to remove the child from the potentially dangerous situation. Sadly there are no guarantee's in life, but they are just doing what they think is best, directed by guidelines and perimeters to which they must abide. Unfortunately they can't save everyone and unfortunately they don't have all the answers. Without these agencies though, complete chaos would ensue and then where would the voices of these helpless children be????

[Dracman]

Richard wrote:

I really wish that fathers were involved in their daughters' life to make sure that they are savvy enough to avoid hooking up with substandard men. As a father of two daughters I never let them know what kind of jerks are out there and how to spot the traits that most women do not see when looking through rose-colored glasses. And mothers need to stop spoiling their sons. All they do is turn them into self-centered, narcisstic, lousy husbands/boyfriends. Finally, when one has a child, no job will ever be as important as raising that child; it's the most difficult job and, when done right, the most rewarding. You always have to put your best effort into parenting and continually evaluate yourself to make sure that your are on the right path. The most important gifts you give your child is a high standard of values, discipline (because without discipline, a child never learns self-discipline), absolute love and confidence. Children who grow up with parents who stress these things and live their lives in the same manner generally do just fine. Parents, it is so worth the effort to be the best parent you can be. That doesn't mean being your kid's buddy, that means being his/her parent.

You never let your daughters no what kind of jerks are out there??? I personally think your full of what your shoveling, not to mention you contradict yourself..