Head Of 'Polyamory' Group Discusses Multiple Partners

Most of what we hear about polygamy has to do with stomach-turning situations like the recently raided West Texas ranch where it is believed that members of the Fundamentalist Church of Jesus Christ of ...

[PracticalPolyamo ryDotCom]

Great article! I'm another woman who is fortunate enough to have an abundance of love in my polyamorous life. Equal opportunities to define our relationships and our sex lives makes this possible. Women are leading the polyamory movement, and much of what lots of people think is so about this form of relationships isn't.

[ARS]

Awesome article and thanks for shedding a little more light on a not to often talked about lifestyle choice. I have been polyamorous for more than 10 years and it is too bad that there isn't more support for the positive aspects of living non-monogomously. I love my life and am very happy in my relationships. We don't fight and don't deal too often with jealousy because we work it out. I just wish I could be more out about it at work and in my extended family.

[East Mother]

wow.... I could never do that. I Love being with one man at at time - focus my love and energy on him. There is no way I can deal with two...lol

ARS wrote:

Awesome article and thanks for shedding a little more light on a not to often talked about lifestyle choice. I have been polyamorous for more than 10 years and it is too bad that there isn't more support for the positive aspects of living non-monogomously. I love my life and am very happy in my relationships. We don't fight and don't deal too often with jealousy because we work it out. I just wish I could be more out about it at work and in my extended family.

[PROV1X81]

PracticalPolyamoryDotCom wrote:

Great article! I'm another woman who is fortunate enough to have an abundance of love in my polyamorous life. Equal opportunities to define our relationships and our sex lives makes this possible. Women are leading the polyamory movement, and much of what lots of people think is so about this form of relationships isn't.

I have a question, why are there never any women with multiple husbands?
example; 1 wife -8 husbands

[Patrick in 91320]

This concept of loving 2 or more people is new to Me, I have been in an open relationship for more that 7 years and We have had many experiences with others (some each of Us know about and some that are not known to the other) but when My partner stated that She was now " In love" with another person as well as having sex with Him, causes Me to feel threatened about our relationship. I cannot understand being able to intimately "Love" 2 or more people at the same time.
I know this other person is married and His Wife does not know about His Relationship with My Partner. This makes Me feel that He is not only dishonest but also a cheat, is it possible that this feeling causes Me to feel threatened in this situation, Because if He is dishonest to His Wife and My partner knows He is being dishonest what should make Me believe that She is being honest with Me.
I sense that My feelings about this is going to cost Our Relationship to fail and this is not what I want to happen. any advise would be welcomed

[Mikelo]

I'm glad for the positive article. I've been in poly relationships before, and it's certainly not a lifestyle for everyone. Ideally, an environment of trust should allow everyone in the relationship to complement everyone else, even with the little things that people do that annoy each other (which happens in mono families, too).

Thanks for the interview.

[PracticalPolyamo ryDotCom]

Are you all crazy wrote:

This woman is nothing but a bed hopping sl*t. She can rationalize all she wants, but in the end, that's what she is. Her head is also full of TIHS spelled backwards.

You couldn't be more wrong. In fact, another phrase for polyamory is responsible non-monogamy. Polyamory is like monogamy but with more than one person. We commit to and love our partners just as much as monogamist do so with theirs. We also embrace our sexuality and our ability to express our love sexually as a very positive, life-affirming practice. You believe we are sluts because you were taught to think something that is very damaging psychologically, creates a lot of dysfunction, and is just plain wrong. It's the way men and church authorities devised to keep women in line and doing their bidding.

Here's to women who responsibly love who and as they please without regard to others' misguided, inaccurate judgments of them!

[I beg to differ]

"Polyamory" and "non-manogamy" are nice long words. But civilized society has had other terms for these actions over the years. They are generally much shorter words -- some of them four-lettered.

You can dress it up and give it any name you want, but sleeping around is sleeping around, period.

[Airen Wolf]

Lovely well written article!

[Airen Wolf]

PROV1X81 wrote:

<quoted text>
I have a question, why are there never any women with multiple husbands?
example; 1 wife -8 husbands

Actually we are out there! Just not as well known or as well accepted....something about most religions threatening to kill a woman who won't conform to the whole man takes care of woman and owns her philosophy. Thing is the issues are still the same whether it's one man with multiple women or one woman with multiple men. There really isn't a good solid reason why a wife with more than one husband is economically or hereditarily wrong especially in this day and age of easy planned pregnancy...one woman can have it all and I'm loving every minute of it!

[Airen Wolf]

fed up with the mess wrote:

<quoted text>You are also nasty and freaky. You just love to sleep around to gratify your sexual desires. NASTY!! No self control whatsoever!!!

And so it begins...no well thought out reply just a condemnation of what you are too afraid to explore but secretly yearn for. Pathetic really...Yup yup people serial monogamy and divorce is really the only sane way to live everything else is just freaky and wrong! Being happy and proud of your life is just sick and twisted! Loving and living with a group of lovers in harmony is ONLY about the sex...and I'm here to tell you YES the sex is amazing!... When we finish discussing our day, playing with our children and listening to their day, after working all day to do the things everyone else does and watching a tv program or two before we stumble off toward the bedroom. Get your heads out of the porn mags people and realize that polyamory is about many LOVES not about how many lovers you can squeeze in. Geesh one begins to wonder when people will grow up and really start to think about what they write or say.

[Chuck]

PracticalPolyamory wrote:

<quoted text>
You couldn't be more wrong. In fact, another phrase for polyamory is responsible non-monogamy. Polyamory is like monogamy but with more than one person....

you were taught to think something that is very damaging psychologically, creates a lot of dysfunction, and is just plain wrong. It's the way men and church authorities devised to keep women in line and doing their bidding.

Babble AND spin. What a convincing combination!

[fed up with the mess]

Airen Wolf wrote:

<quoted text>
And so it begins...no well thought out reply just a condemnation of what you are too afraid to explore but secretly yearn for. Pathetic really...Yup yup people serial monogamy and divorce is really the only sane way to live everything else is just freaky and wrong! Being happy and proud of your life is just sick and twisted! Loving and living with a group of lovers in harmony is ONLY about the sex...and I'm here to tell you YES the sex is amazing!... When we finish discussing our day, playing with our children and listening to their day, after working all day to do the things everyone else does and watching a tv program or two before we stumble off toward the bedroom. Get your heads out of the porn mags people and realize that polyamory is about many LOVES not about how many lovers you can squeeze in. Geesh one begins to wonder when people will grow up and really start to think about what they write or say.

Why would I secretly yern for weakness of the flesh to sleep around with someone else when I get tired of sleeping with my current partner. This is a nasty cop-out. Call it what you want. You love to bed hop when you get tired of one partner. Do you doe see doe????

[Joyce]

fed up with the mess wrote:

<quoted text>Why would I secretly yern for weakness of the flesh to sleep around with someone else when I get tired of sleeping with my current partner. This is a nasty cop-out. Call it what you want. You love to bed hop when you get tired of one partner. Do you doe see doe????

This doesn't actually seem to occur with most of my lovers. I'm a lesbian-leaning bisexual woman with my wife, a secondary girlfriend, and three close lovers/friends that I see on a regular basis. I've been with three of them for almost a year now. In fact, I met my wife when we were both dating the same woman together.

There's not a lot of bed hopping. It's more interrelating and getting to know one another. And it's not at all about sex. Most of my dates with folks lately seem to involve us playing Super Smash Brothers on the Wii.

Additionally, it really creates a nice family atmosphere. My boyfriend's girlfriend invited me over for dinner a few months ago, where I sat down with her, our mutual boyfriend, and their other girlfriend. We all talked and had a great time. And there wasn't any sex to be seen anywhere.

So yeah... it's not about weakness of the flesh. It's about being... family. For me, at least.:)

[Joyces wife]

As far as bedhopping goes, I find that rather implausible. I only actually have sex with one of my partners, and have a pretty damn minimal sex drive :)

[Retired-cop]

Sounds like a goo for all..............

[Retired-cop]

Patrick in 91320 wrote:

This concept of loving 2 or more people is new to Me, I have been in an open relationship for more that 7 years and We have had many experiences with others (some each of Us know about and some that are not known to the other) but when My partner stated that She was now " In love" with another person as well as having sex with Him, causes Me to feel threatened about our relationship. I cannot understand being able to intimately "Love" 2 or more people at the same time.
I know this other person is married and His Wife does not know about His Relationship with My Partner. This makes Me feel that He is not only dishonest but also a cheat, is it possible that this feeling causes Me to feel threatened in this situation, Because if He is dishonest to His Wife and My partner knows He is being dishonest what should make Me believe that She is being honest with Me.
I sense that My feelings about this is going to cost Our Relationship to fail and this is not what I want to happen. any advise would be welcomed

Sounds like it already is a failure.

[alan7388]

Some posters here don't seem to have a hint of what polyamory is about. Here's a good starting point, with lots of hard-won community wisdom:
http://www.xeromag.com/fvpoly.html

[fed up with the mess]

Joyces wife wrote:

As far as bedhopping goes, I find that rather implausible. I only actually have sex with one of my partners, and have a pretty damn minimal sex drive :)

The lies you tell.....

[fed up with the mess]

This is some ole mess made up by men so they can bedhop around with different women and not commit to anyone and not feel guilty because everyone agrees to it. Women are so stupid to fall for this one.