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Advice please

Broken Arrow, OK

#1 Jun 24, 2013
I need advice. I have a 2 1/2 yo little girl. Her dad and I are not together. The dad has recently married. My problem is this. The dad and step- mom are encouraging my daughter to call the step - mother Mom. I feel like the "mom" title is mine alone. My question is this. Should I talk with her dad about this? Ihave little doubt that he can be reasoned with. Do I stay quiet and let my daughter figure out what's going on herself or since we have a court date in the near future, do I show the proof to the judge and let him handle it? I feel like if the shoe was on the other foot , he would not like it at all.
Advice please

Broken Arrow, OK

#2 Jun 24, 2013
Let me add that in the past he has made it clear that he doesn't want my daughter calling anyone else dad
onepercenter

Altus, OK

#4 Jun 24, 2013
Who does she live with?
Advice

Grand Prairie, TX

#5 Jun 24, 2013
onepercenter wrote:
Who does she live with?
shared custody with me as primary
facts

Altus, OK

#6 Jun 24, 2013
Are they forcing her?
Advice please

Tulsa, OK

#7 Jun 24, 2013
It's encouraged by the dad and step mom.
Advice please

Tulsa, OK

#8 Jun 24, 2013
She is 2 1/2 doesn't need forcing just encouragement.
facts

Altus, OK

#9 Jun 24, 2013
At that age I wouldn't worry to much many children call female caregivers mom. Does the child know the difference? Are there other kids at the dads house? That may have a little to do with it if there are. Since she's only 2 1/2 how long has the step-mom been in the picture?
Advice

Tulsa, OK

#10 Jun 24, 2013
Just a few months.
facts

Altus, OK

#11 Jun 24, 2013
This is one of the unfortunate side effects of divorce, especially in young children. While it may cause hurt feelings, not much can be done. As long the child knows your her mom, making a big deal of could have the reverse affect like making her do it more since she gets a reactive response from you. In time the child will figure things on their own. If she did this on her own to begin with at least a little comfort can found in that the step-mom may be showing a caring nature for your child. That is far better for the child than the alternative.
Advice

Tulsa, OK

#12 Jun 24, 2013
Thank you
onepercenter

Altus, OK

#13 Jun 25, 2013
tell your ex, fine because you are planning to have her call your new husband "dad"
twofur

Altus, OK

#14 Jun 26, 2013
all to common now days:(
CuWer

United States

#15 Jul 4, 2013
My ex always tells my daughter, " YOU HAVE to go see you're daddy. I'm so sorry". The seeds are being planted in order to make my daughter think coming home is a bad thing. The programming and brain wash is unbelievable.
Out wit crafty

Bixby, OK

#16 Apr 18, 2014
Sometimes you have to out wit the crafty. My ex bad mouths me and programs my child against me. I refuse to play the mind games. I did however, keep every picture, every text, every document, every arrest, every everything ( long drawn out custody case) in case I need to defend myself to my daughter when she gets older. I pray that it never comes to that, but I will do everything in my power to protect my relationship with my daughter.
Her way

Morrilton, AR

#17 Jul 13, 2014
Co parenting her way goes a little something like this....

I know I told your daddy we'd discuss more visits.... But then people would catch on to my lies about him being a deadbeat and my new boyfriend/ husband couldn't play the perfect daddy.

Sure I believe in fathers rights
As long as I still have control of visitation and get child support

My father was not the monster my mother made everyone think he was in hopes no one would find out all the horrible things she did. I need my real father....
P.s. I miss you daddy, even if I can't say it around mom

Once those child support checks start coming in, I can live off you until you're 18

I know you are her father, but she's from my womb. All we need now is your money, not your presence

Fact: a mother of quality is not threatened by a father for equality
Narcissists

Muskogee, OK

#18 Jul 14, 2014
Her way wrote:
Co parenting her way goes a little something like this....
I know I told your daddy we'd discuss more visits.... But then people would catch on to my lies about him being a deadbeat and my new boyfriend/ husband couldn't play the perfect daddy.
Sure I believe in fathers rights
As long as I still have control of visitation and get child support
My father was not the monster my mother made everyone think he was in hopes no one would find out all the horrible things she did. I need my real father....
P.s. I miss you daddy, even if I can't say it around mom
Once those child support checks start coming in, I can live off you until you're 18
I know you are her father, but she's from my womb. All we need now is your money, not your presence
Fact: a mother of quality is not threatened by a father for equality
narcissists often use children as a weapon. Many times a narcissist seeks custody if the children simply as a means to torture their ex. They manipulate the court, judges, lawyers, friends and family...... It's not about the child.... It's about punishing the ex for not maintaining a level of awe or admiration for them, for leaving them, or for not substantiating the narcissist's false identity.
Yup

Sapulpa, OK

#19 Jul 15, 2014
Her way wrote:
Co parenting her way goes a little something like this....
I know I told your daddy we'd discuss more visits.... But then people would catch on to my lies about him being a deadbeat and my new boyfriend/ husband couldn't play the perfect daddy.
Sure I believe in fathers rights
As long as I still have control of visitation and get child support
My father was not the monster my mother made everyone think he was in hopes no one would find out all the horrible things she did. I need my real father....
P.s. I miss you daddy, even if I can't say it around mom
Once those child support checks start coming in, I can live off you until you're 18
I know you are her father, but she's from my womb. All we need now is your money, not your presence
Fact: a mother of quality is not threatened by a father for equality
Cynthia ?
Beware

Norman, OK

#20 Jul 29, 2014
Narcissists wrote:
<quoted text> narcissists often use children as a weapon. Many times a narcissist seeks custody if the children simply as a means to torture their ex. They manipulate the court, judges, lawyers, friends and family...... It's not about the child.... It's about punishing the ex for not maintaining a level of awe or admiration for them, for leaving them, or for not substantiating the narcissist's false identity.
a narcissistic sociopath is trapped in the mind of a two yr old. They posses no cognitive ability to reason, cooperate, or negotiate. They have not learned patience, or how to give and take, to love, or to empathize. Rather theirs lives consist of ultimatums, demands, greed, narcissism, bullying, greed, temper tantrums, and a plethora of other headache inducing demands..........and they probably eat dirt. Leave them for someone deserving of their company.
Ability to reason

Norman, OK

#21 Jul 29, 2014
Baby momma ( not mother ) griped about me not giving her money to support my child while she has her. We've had her equally. I support, clothe, and feed her while I have her. Where is her equal obligation to support, feed and clothe her while she has her. She thinks I'm the deadbeat when she contributes absolutely nothing. Geeze the entitlements these baby Mommas think they're entitled to. I will give baby momma money though, Since she can't competently provide for her while she has her.

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