Courts around the Lehigh Valley are more flexible on child supp...

Full story: The Morning Call

Six months ago, Michael J. Charity lost his job at a warehouse. Though he looked for employment and picked up some work, all of it folded.

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Really

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#2
Jul 19, 2009
 
"Lehigh County Judge William Ford, Lehigh's family administrative judge, said amid the lagging economy he has asked domestic relations officials to downgrade their expectations when first setting how much a parent pays in child support.

The orders should be realistic and give greater attention to such factors as real earning capacity and recoverable assets, he said."

Well how the hell can he do this if the calculations are based on state guidelines? If these idiots would have been realistic from day one, there would be more parents and children living right now instead of desperate parents taking their ex's and childrens' and their own lives because of the financial strain these "awards" gave. And $1,000.00 a month for support? What are a 9 and 11 year old doing with that kind of money? Please, this is for living expenses. Not college savings,...... MOST times it is the mother receiving and she is spending as she pleases. Take note of the recent article stating more men pay their bills on time, have investments and are more financially sound whereas most women spend, spend, spend and are more in financial dire straits than a man.
Set realistic guidelines NOW legislatures, before the economy changes and memories fade.
Redneck

Hellertown, PA

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#3
Jul 19, 2009
 
the courts suck when it comes to the person paying. YOU CANNOT GET BLOOD FROM A STONE. i went to court for this and even told the judge i can support the child with my new family and not need any money from my ex...the courts said no.... WHY.... i have partial custody, so that proves i am a good father. so why can't a parent that can take care of a child NOT get that child??????? come on judges answer this question.......... and why if you are unemployed are you at risk of going to jail for non payment? what do the courts think? that a job will appear just because tha courts say so?
tom

Emmaus, PA

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#4
Jul 19, 2009
 
I pay a large sum for support and have 50% custody. if my ex refuses to get a better paying job then it is my responibilty to tie up the loose end. that is BS. if she can't afford them and I can, then they should live with me full time. the system is f***** up.
my children could have so much more if I could spend my money on them instead of my ex spending it on her boyfriend. and there is absolutely not a f***** thing I can do about it. plus my children are losing out on what is rightfully theirs!!!
Redneck

Hellertown, PA

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#5
Jul 19, 2009
 
tom wrote:
I pay a large sum for support and have 50% custody. if my ex refuses to get a better paying job then it is my responibilty to tie up the loose end. that is BS. if she can't afford them and I can, then they should live with me full time. the system is f***** up.
my children could have so much more if I could spend my money on them instead of my ex spending it on her boyfriend. and there is absolutely not a f***** thing I can do about it. plus my children are losing out on what is rightfully theirs!!!
I am in the same boat as you tom, the courts are so BLIND all they see is that way it was back in the old days that the mother is best for the child..... well they courts need to wake up and see that dads are just as good IF NOT BETTER then mothers. this type of articale has been in the paper so much nowadays that i find it hard to believe that the toilet paper mcall does not do some kind of investigation into why the laws are NOT changed... oh yea they would rather waste time and space on hotdogs guys and other twaddle. but what do you expect from this rag?
From Bethlehem

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#6
Jul 19, 2009
 
So are the courts granting the mothers of deadbeats extra income from the state? After all, kids still need to eat and grocery prices keep going up. Kids still need to have a roof over their heads and landlords aren't dropping their rates, Kohl's isn't granting discounts either. WTH< the single guy on his own gets a break but the single Mom with kids to feed and social workers to answer to does not. Yeah, that's justice for ya... its unconscionable.
From Bethlehem

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#7
Jul 19, 2009
 
PS- I've met quite a few fathers who have custody in the Lehigh Valley so it does happen. Its hard to prove one parent is better than the other so most of the time shared is granted. If you really want custody then you need to be able to PROVE why, with documented events just like the women have to do have to do. Just saying you're better than your ex doesn't cut it, after all who doesn't think they're a better person than their ex?????
Gary

Schnecksville, PA

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#8
Jul 19, 2009
 
You know, if the couple hadn't gotten divorced, and the husband lost his job, the family would just have to suck it up.
Because the courts are involved it then becomes a legal matter, the father has to pay weather he's working or not.
I realize that times are tough but something is wrong with the system.
Maybe it's because the government got involved in family private matters.

“Normal is overrated !”

Since: May 09

Bethlehem,Pa

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#10
Jul 19, 2009
 
John wrote:
If lost your job, there are many ways for people to save and get help with all types of bills and debts, and even make extra income working from home. For example, the fed government and other banks are giving help with mortgages to over 5 million people, utility companys help with utilities and heating bills, numerous companies will help consoliade debts, companies will negotiate medical bills, save on property taxes, and many other programs. I found programs and tips here.
http://www.needhelppayingbills.com
THIS IS A CROCK OF SHAT
Common sense issues

Allentown, PA

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#11
Jul 19, 2009
 
It's time to look at the custodial parent if the non-custodial parent is unable to work due to the economic crisis. Perhaps the non-custodial parent should have the children since he/she certainly has the time to spend with them. I personally would like to see a ledger kept with receipts from the custodial parent to see where the money is being spent. Many, many mothers use the child support for everything under the sun that is not even related to child/children's expenses ~ gold jewlery, manicures, designer handbags. It's time to look at each case from both sides. Unless the father is an absolute dead-beat dad, more creative ways need to be applied instead of incarceration which hits all of us monetarily. It's all about money - lawyers, courts, judges, prisons. Let's use a little common sense for once.

Sports Group - wrote utlity companys help with utility and heating bills - WRONG. Companies will negotiate medical bills-Wrong, Saving on Property Taxes...LOL.
Common sense issues

Allentown, PA

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#12
Jul 19, 2009
 
Dan wrote:
The DR in Lehigh County has come up with a new way to elimnate the deadbeats-they are discharging orders!!
My daughter got a letter for DR that since the deadbeat isn't working and did not work for that last 4 years they deem the order uninforcable and discharged the order. Now the deadbeat only owes his arrearages and DR isn't involved so how does she collect that?
Is this how they are claiming more is being done when all they do is sweep it under rug and screw the child ??
All this does is make them and their records look better.
The deadbeat owes more than 14 grand and is getting away with it now thanks to DR!!!!
Oh yeah he also has other children and doing the same to them!!
Hope some day this deadbeat gets his !!!
By the way the deadbeats name is Josh Shade.
It sounds like your daughter got hooked up with dead beat to begin with and it's all his fault? I doubt it. For you to post his name is disgusting, sure hope it makes you feel better about yourself.
wild horses

Slatington, PA

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#13
Jul 19, 2009
 
6 years ago i told domestic relations i would lose my house if they kept raising my support
not our problem i was told the child is our concern
i asked what about when the child is with her father
i guess that didnt matter to them if she had a roof over her head when at her father's
well i lost it over greed
go back a couple of months when the article was in the paper about D/R out in harrisburg just how crooked they were
and there trying to make themselves look like the good guy's now there all crooks
you know there is one bright side to this i might have lost my house ruined my credit
but in the end i got custody of daughter
so domestic relations in your face and i hope you choke on it
you's do more harm then good
one more thing for all you smart a... no i was never behind not even on one payment
greed is the root of all evil
U R an idiot

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#14
Jul 19, 2009
 
From Bethlehem wrote:
So are the courts granting the mothers of deadbeats extra income from the state? After all, kids still need to eat and grocery prices keep going up. Kids still need to have a roof over their heads and landlords aren't dropping their rates, Kohl's isn't granting discounts either. WTH< the single guy on his own gets a break but the single Mom with kids to feed and social workers to answer to does not. Yeah, that's justice for ya... its unconscionable.
We have a thing called inflation. Where does it say a man (mostly) has to give an arm, leg and eye to satisfy support obligations?
crazy alice

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#15
Jul 19, 2009
 
i was just at domestic relations for support in pa.they re do the formula every 4 yrs to come with a total for support,what a joke.it should b dne every year.times are changing and so should gov.ran programs.they dont even care what your bills r above the child support.all the care about is your gross pay.nothing else.say you make 2000 a month before taxes thats all they care about to do there formula to get you a support amount.i know alot of people that r struggling with support even before these tuff times.people really try but all it comes down to is the bottom line thats it.i belive in child support but they really need to look at there formula every year to make sure its in tune with the ecomony and peoples earnings.this is just a wake up call for them.
caring dad

Schnecksville, PA

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#17
Jul 19, 2009
 
my wife left me, took the kids and filed for divorce all in one shot about 4 yrs ago. i was caught in the middle of an absolutely amazing affair.

well, to make a very long story short, when i realized just how much divorce would impact me financially (i am the sole source of income and we have a lot of investments), i quickly changed my attitude and begged for forgiveness. i pretended to care, pretended that i wanted my wife and family back, pretended that i could change. i refused to be walked all over, financially, and forced to sacrifice any of my income, if we got divorced.

while separated, we went to counseling but as soon as it was over that day, i was back with my lover. heck, i would even call her during the breaks from our group therapy sessions. i learned to be a very, very good actor, promising the world and begging for the divorce to be cancelled.

it worked! after postponing many, many of the legal proceedings, we jointly agreed not to get divorced and my wife and kids moved back home. i was very, very lucky.

i am still having my affairs (i have moved onto another one), but just being extra, extra careful now to cover my tracks. in a way, the divorce taught me a lot about how to hide my affair even better and how to enjoy it even more!

i was a very difficult year, but the only financial damage was to my wife's family (they foolishly gave her 4000 dollars, which i refused to pay back, for her legal help).

am i happy now? you betcha! i have the best of everything. a "loving" wife who takes care of me and my family at home, totally blind to my activities and, still, an amazing girlfriend who satisfies me in other ways, plus all of the money and income that i could ever need. it's great!
Have a nice day

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#18
Jul 19, 2009
 
Dan wrote:
The DR in Lehigh County has come up with a new way to elimnate the deadbeats-they are discharging orders!!
My daughter got a letter for DR that since the deadbeat isn't working and did not work for that last 4 years they deem the order uninforcable and discharged the order. Now the deadbeat only owes his arrearages and DR isn't involved so how does she collect that?
Is this how they are claiming more is being done when all they do is sweep it under rug and screw the child ??
All this does is make them and their records look better.
The deadbeat owes more than 14 grand and is getting away with it now thanks to DR!!!!
Oh yeah he also has other children and doing the same to them!!
Hope some day this deadbeat gets his !!!
By the way the deadbeats name is Josh Shade.
Tell your daughter to get a job.
Say What

United States

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#19
Jul 19, 2009
 
If people would only think with their heads before they brought children into this world they would not be in the crisis they are. Most have to get married because of an unplanned pregnancy. Birth control is so readily available in this day and age. I just don't understand why when you have a child and then leave the mother or father of said child you feel strapped because you have to pay support. And having the child yourself will not solve the problem. Don't get me wrong, I know there are many good parents who will go the extra mile to support their child and work problelms out with the other parent but the ones complaining here are the same ones who are looking at it as if the other parent is getting the money not the child. I know it does happens but document this and prove it and do something about it instead of just crying. It is not about YOU it is about YOUR child.
Think about what could happen if you bring a child in the world. A few seconds of pleasure may leave a lifetime of responsibility.

“Let's have an adult debate!”

Since: Jun 09

Trexlertown

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#20
Jul 19, 2009
 
caring dad wrote:
my wife left me, took the kids and filed for divorce all in one shot about 4 yrs ago. i was caught in the middle of an absolutely amazing affair.
well, to make a very long story short, when i realized just how much divorce would impact me financially (i am the sole source of income and we have a lot of investments), i quickly changed my attitude and begged for forgiveness. i pretended to care, pretended that i wanted my wife and family back, pretended that i could change. i refused to be walked all over, financially, and forced to sacrifice any of my income, if we got divorced.
while separated, we went to counseling but as soon as it was over that day, i was back with my lover. heck, i would even call her during the breaks from our group therapy sessions. i learned to be a very, very good actor, promising the world and begging for the divorce to be cancelled.
it worked! after postponing many, many of the legal proceedings, we jointly agreed not to get divorced and my wife and kids moved back home. i was very, very lucky.
i am still having my affairs (i have moved onto another one), but just being extra, extra careful now to cover my tracks. in a way, the divorce taught me a lot about how to hide my affair even better and how to enjoy it even more!
i was a very difficult year, but the only financial damage was to my wife's family (they foolishly gave her 4000 dollars, which i refused to pay back, for her legal help).
am i happy now? you betcha! i have the best of everything. a "loving" wife who takes care of me and my family at home, totally blind to my activities and, still, an amazing girlfriend who satisfies me in other ways, plus all of the money and income that i could ever need. it's great!
You are a real story teller and the girlfriend is pretty stupid to stay with a married man.
you dont know me

Wilmington, NC

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#21
Jul 19, 2009
 
I have a Bachelor's degree and a job...its ok for him to party his a** off and not have to worry about taking care of a child...it takes 2 and i have been raising MY son on my own for years now...he is the deadbeat that should find a job and not the way to the closest party
you dont know me

Wilmington, NC

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#22
Jul 19, 2009
 
I understand there are situations where somebody cannot get a job due to the economy and is unable to pay...but there are legitimate deadbeats out there...my sons father worked a great job and when child support kicked in he "lost/got fired" from his job...he is not unable to work...he was working a great job until he was forced to pay child support...so how did he get out of child support...SIMPLE...DONT WORK!!!

I am a single mother who went and finished my Bachelor degree...got a great job and take care of our son full-time...i am now returning to school for my Master's degree to further myself more and ensure my son has a good future

This new law helps deadbeat dads like my sons to not want to find a job...why should he...he doesnt have to pay anything

ok so now...how fair is it to the child...the only person suffering here is the child...its not fair to my son

yes i got mixed in with a deadbeat but i grew up and got my sh*t together and matured...his deadbeat dad never will...all he cares about is drugs and alcohol...

dont talk about me in a negative way...we all have made mistakes but ive grown from mine

for you dads out there that want to pay support and just cant because you cant find a job but you spend time with your kids i commend you and i understand your situation

my situation is not like that...and it does not make me a bad person the rest of my life because of a mistake ive grown from
Youre disgusting

Fairport, NY

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#23
Jul 19, 2009
 
Dear Caring Dad,
I find you and your situation very disgusting. It seems to me that you are quite PROUD of what you've done and continue to do. It's all about YOU! I certainly pray that your wife reads your posted comment, knows that it's YOU and starts her legal proceedings all over again and then, in addition, sues you for the $4000 she incurred in legal fees because of YOUR false pretenses. I might also add your wife is a smart woman for taking the kids and leaving you and filed for divorce. This time, I hope she's much smarter and follows through.

It also seems to me that you are IN LOVE with your Money. Don't you know that "the love of money is the root of all evil"? You'll get yours because what goes around, comes around.

Apparently you THINK you've got the world by the balls, but watch what happens when those balls start to sag. I hope the wife takes you for EVERYTHING you've got and then some. Then you state, "and we have a lot of investments", and I hope the wife includes those as well! She may very well be the one to be sitting on EASY STREET.

P.S. If I were your wife, I'd hire a private detective to watch and follow you. How on God's earth can you claim to be a "Caring Dad"?

YOU ARE DISGUSTING!

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