He won't look me in the eye...

He won't look me in the eye...

Posted in the Alice Forum

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julie

United States

#1 Dec 27, 2011
My ex and I, we had a terrible breakup...but we are both fine now. We have both moved on and are involved with other people...I guess we have to speak to each other because of our children, but when we speak....he looks away, off to the sides , up at the ceiling, down at the floor....all around at everything but me. I don't have any interest in him at all...I'm madly in love with my bf....but it's really strange speaking to someone who acts like I'm Medusa and if he looks into my eyes....he will turn to stone! lol My question is....why do you think he does this?
best

Laredo, TX

#2 Dec 27, 2011
Need to have sex 1 more time to see how the feelings are.
Wife

United States

#3 Dec 27, 2011
my ex is the same way bt the reason is cuz his still in love with me nd he has told me that if he looks in my eyes its like we r still together nd he starts to cry nd thats just makes me feel like shit bt we have been separate for over three yrs already mayb ur ex is still in love with u
Trophy Wife

Corpus Christi, TX

#4 Dec 27, 2011
He feels awkward. Uncomfortable, maybe even quilty

Since: Mar 11

Location hidden

#5 Dec 27, 2011
julie wrote:
My ex and I, we had a terrible breakup...but we are both fine now. We have both moved on and are involved with other people...I guess we have to speak to each other because of our children, but when we speak....he looks away, off to the sides , up at the ceiling, down at the floor....all around at everything but me. I don't have any interest in him at all...I'm madly in love with my bf....but it's really strange speaking to someone who acts like I'm Medusa and if he looks into my eyes....he will turn to stone! lol My question is....why do you think he does this?
Just because he has to talk to you doesn't mean he has to look at you. Maybe you are reading too much into his demeanor.:)
julie

United States

#6 Dec 27, 2011
Thanks everyone for the different views on this complicated situation. I feel that eye contact is very important in any conversation.
adding

United States

#7 Dec 27, 2011
julie wrote:
Thanks everyone for the different views on this complicated situation. I feel that eye contact is very important in any conversation.
he does it to avoid eye contact with u!! Maybe it hurts to see u or maybe he is a shamed to look at u!
lol

Azle, TX

#8 Dec 27, 2011
Maybe he can't stand to b around u!
lol

United States

#9 Dec 27, 2011
U must of cheated and he can't even stand u
clarify

United States

#10 Dec 27, 2011
julie wrote:
My ex and I, we had a terrible breakup...but we are both fine now. We have both moved on and are involved with other people...I guess we have to speak to each other because of our children, but when we speak....he looks away, off to the sides , up at the ceiling, down at the floor....all around at everything but me. I don't have any interest in him at all...I'm madly in love with my bf....but it's really strange speaking to someone who acts like I'm Medusa and if he looks into my eyes....he will turn to stone! lol My question is....why do you think he does this?
It would help to know why you all separated. If you cheated then maybe he can't stand you. If he cheated then maybe he has regrets.... If it was a mutual decision and just because and you say he had moved on...then maybe he does it out of respect for his new partner.
really the x

Alice, TX

#11 Dec 28, 2011
wellwats the name julie
julie

United States

#12 Dec 28, 2011
clarify wrote:
<quoted text>
It would help to know why you all separated. If you cheated then maybe he can't stand you. If he cheated then maybe he has regrets.... If it was a mutual decision and just because and you say he had moved on...then maybe he does it out of respect for his new partner.
We both cheated....we both broke every single vow there was to break. But I think its time for us to heal, my bf and I have been going over this course about divorce and what it does to your children....and it says that the parents need to be civil to one another and try to heal because conflict between parents hurts the child's ability to heal and learn to adjust to their new life without their family as they knew it. As far as respect for his gf, well i respect my bf completely ,yet I'm able to look at other people in the eye and NOT consider it cheating.
julie

United States

#13 Dec 28, 2011
lol wrote:
U must of cheated and he can't even stand u
You are just jumping to conclusions, I had not mentioned anything about cheating but oh well ...everyone has their opinion and I asked so I guess. There were so many things that went on in our marriage...some really horrible things, but that is over now, we need to move on for the sake of our children. Our daughter is hurting so much and dealing with so many of life's issues herself. She is a beautiful and wonderful young woman and its her that Im thinking about...I worry about her and she is hurting because her family is so broken up. I want there to be some peace in our family so that we can work together to save our daughter. There is nothing wrong with that...I am where I want to be, I am in love and happy with my new love but that doesnt mean that I am going to forget about my children and their needs.
SOLDIER

United States

#14 Dec 28, 2011
julie wrote:
<quoted text> You are just jumping to conclusions, I had not mentioned anything about cheating but oh well ...everyone has their opinion and I asked so I guess. There were so many things that went on in our marriage...some really horrible things, but that is over now, we need to move on for the sake of our children. Our daughter is hurting so much and dealing with so many of life's issues herself. She is a beautiful and wonderful young woman and its her that Im thinking about...I worry about her and she is hurting because her family is so broken up. I want there to be some peace in our family so that we can work together to save our daughter. There is nothing wrong with that...I am where I want to be, I am in love and happy with my new love but that doesnt mean that I am going to forget about my children and their needs.
Your boyfriend will eventually cheat or you will cheat on him, you will never have a long lasting relationship if you are in a cheating environment. Maybe you and your b/f should become swingers so cheating will be irrelevant .
julie

United States

#15 Dec 28, 2011
SOLDIER wrote:
<quoted text>
Your boyfriend will eventually cheat or you will cheat on him, you will never have a long lasting relationship if you are in a cheating environment. Maybe you and your b/f should become swingers so cheating will be irrelevant .
What makes you think I'm in a cheating enviroment? My bf and I are single so we are not cheating on anyone....besides, I KNOW I will never make the mistake of cheating again....I paid plenty for my sins....I was called horrible names that still ring in my ears....I was hit and threatened...so many people cheat...not all get punished like I have...so please leave the cheating part out of this discussion....as far as my bf cheating...who knows if he will...maybe he will maybe he wont but its a chance I'm willing to take...I am not going to live my life in fear of getting hurt. I will live my life to its fullest every day .....I have done my time for my crime and now I am free and I plan to live my life and love my children. Swinging ...NO WAY!
Hope for Change

United States

#16 Dec 28, 2011
julie wrote:
<quoted text> What makes you think I'm in a cheating enviroment? My bf and I are single so we are not cheating on anyone....besides, I KNOW I will never make the mistake of cheating again....I paid plenty for my sins....I was called horrible names that still ring in my ears....I was hit and threatened...so many people cheat...not all get punished like I have...so please leave the cheating part out of this discussion....as far as my bf cheating...who knows if he will...maybe he will maybe he wont but its a chance I'm willing to take...I am not going to live my life in fear of getting hurt. I will live my life to its fullest every day .....I have done my time for my crime and now I am free and I plan to live my life and love my children. Swinging ...NO WAY!


I give you and your b/f three month.
julie

United States

#17 Dec 28, 2011
Hope for Change wrote:
<quoted text>
I give you and your b/f three month.
This is not about my bf...this is about my family. I dont live my life obssesed with my relationship...we are doing wonderful , so why worry? If it ends...it ends...I will have loved and been loved in a way most people can only dream of. I have experienced enough happiness with my love to last me a lifetime...I am a survivor, if things end with my bf...I will simply dust off and go on with my life...I am more concerned about my children...they dont have the same easy going attitude I have in life...my daughter is in a depression and no one seems to care about that! My CHILDREN are my life...relationships come and go my friend...children are our responsibility for life.
clarify

Azle, TX

#18 Dec 28, 2011
julie wrote:
<quoted text>This is not about my bf...this is about my family. I dont live my life obssesed with my relationship...we are doing wonderful , so why worry? If it ends...it ends...I will have loved and been loved in a way most people can only dream of. I have experienced enough happiness with my love to last me a lifetime...I am a survivor, if things end with my bf...I will simply dust off and go on with my life...I am more concerned about my children...they dont have the same easy going attitude I have in life...my daughter is in a depression and no one seems to care about that! My CHILDREN are my life...relationships come and go my friend...children are our responsibility for life.
You seem to now have your head on your shoulders. You have good intentions and positive thoughts....hope your ex can communicate with you for the sake of the children. You are right..it's not cheating for him to look you in the eyes..he just may feel that way if he still has feelings for you so his guilt doesn't let him and that might be respect in his eyes for his partner...or who knows...whatever it is ..confront him about it and tell him good communication comes from eye contact and he needs to be a good role model for the children..regardless, putting all feelings aside.
julie

Corpus Christi, TX

#19 Dec 28, 2011
clarify wrote:
<quoted text>
You seem to now have your head on your shoulders. You have good intentions and positive thoughts....hope your ex can communicate with you for the sake of the children. You are right..it's not cheating for him to look you in the eyes..he just may feel that way if he still has feelings for you so his guilt doesn't let him and that might be respect in his eyes for his partner...or who knows...whatever it is ..confront him about it and tell him good communication comes from eye contact and he needs to be a good role model for the children..regardless, putting all feelings aside.
thanks..I am afraid to confront my ex about anything, he has an explosive personality and is quick to believe that I still have unresolved feelings for him. In all reality, I havent had feelings of passion or intimacy for way over 10 years towards my ex husband, so looking at him while conversing with him is not an issue with me. I don't feel any more than I feel when I am speaking to a complete stranger. There were many lines that should never have been crossed during our relationship and that was the reason for absense of a passionate relationship with the ex. There are so many things that he and I should and could hold grudges for but I just feel that now that we are separated we can begin to heal and strive toward a more civil relationship. I wish this only for my children's sake and not my own.
clarify

Azle, TX

#20 Dec 28, 2011
julie wrote:
<quoted text>thanks..I am afraid to confront my ex about anything, he has an explosive personality and is quick to believe that I still have unresolved feelings for him. In all reality, I havent had feelings of passion or intimacy for way over 10 years towards my ex husband, so looking at him while conversing with him is not an issue with me. I don't feel any more than I feel when I am speaking to a complete stranger. There were many lines that should never have been crossed during our relationship and that was the reason for absense of a passionate relationship with the ex. There are so many things that he and I should and could hold grudges for but I just feel that now that we are separated we can begin to heal and strive toward a more civil relationship. I wish this only for my children's sake and not my own.
Good Luck! The past should be left in the past. Everyone deserves and will benefit from a more civil relationship.

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