so unhappy

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lost

Bellevue, WA

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#1
Oct 14, 2012
 
I am so tired of being in a dead end relationship. My kids and I are so unhappy. Their father is a tyrant and we can no longer deal with all his mental issues. But with them in school and my need to feed, cloth and provide for them keeps me in a bad situation. I am doing more harm then good. But what, do I go stay with someone and burden them with 4 extra people to feed? My sanity is on the line, along with my childrens happiness. He says I'm a bad mom, if I stay I am.
Ugh

Alice, TX

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#2
Oct 14, 2012
 
Get a job if all of ur kids are in school if u go stay with family or a friend pitch in as much as u can of u stay and u and ur kids arnt happy then ur makeing bad decisions for u and ur kids doesn't mean ur a bad mom just means u need to make better choices for not only u but for them to they should be ur first priority
it matters

Bellevue, WA

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#3
Oct 14, 2012
 
I do have job, and my family is all deceased. Nearest relative 5 hrs away. I have an inability to ask for help. The job pays beans. I don't know how women do it. So don't want to deal with welfare. Soon I will have no choice, he tells me to leave on a daily basis when throwing one of his fits over something that is menial. According to him I do nothing right. That not only does he have to work, but then come home and be mamma to......I laugh at this. He calls it babysitting when I need to leave kids with him, which is hardly ever. He is so unhappy and full of guilt that he projects it on to me. Completly text book.
Boohoo

Alice, TX

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#4
Oct 14, 2012
 
Its a two way street, quit blaming him because your uneducated & obviously can't provide shit... Well beans for your kids. Leave & do him & your children a favor. If you want sympathy go cry some place else, you had 4 children with a man whom you say is mental, maybe you should've stopped at the first one. Sorry no sympathy for women like you! Grow up.
robe

United States

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#5
Oct 14, 2012
 
How old are the kids
well

United States

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#6
Oct 14, 2012
 
If they are his kids he needs to grow up and realize its not baby sitting, its called being a father.
Same here

Harlingen, TX

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#7
Oct 14, 2012
 
I kno how u feel I have raised my boys pretty much on my own bcuz he's never here. He usually comes home during da holidays. He thinks that bcuz financially he does for them that, that is enough. I work but of course I don't make close to what he makes and bcuz my boys have everything they what I stay, but honestly I am getting tired of being lonely and am thinking I want out I just don't want to hurt him. I'm getting older and I don't want to look back and c myself alone like I have been for the past 12yrs.
hey

United States

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#8
Oct 14, 2012
 
Bad place to ask for advise if you don't want to get belittled and critized.
Same here

Harlingen, TX

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#9
Oct 14, 2012
 
Yes I kno but I guess it's just venting without anyone actually knowing who we r ....it nice to get things off ur chest and still b anonymous to a point
me too

Bixby, OK

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#10
Oct 14, 2012
 
Im in one of those relationships...well a marriage. He used to be abusive (physically,mentally,n emotionally) but now the physical part he stopped. I put a stop to letting him get to me emotionally n mentally. I block him out n dont let him affect me that way. I also have a job... a good paying job but very little hrs. My kids n i were out n happy. I was dating someone n my kids loved him but he was skeptical about helping me (financially) n moving in cuz he was afraid id run back like i always have. He hesitated n i wasnt about to lose my car or get my bills turned off. My advice ..file for child support n apply for housing then when u receive the help,RUN!! Its hard for a woman with kids but prep urself! Start saving $ here n there so when uleave it will be a little easier.

N dont be too proud to ask for assistance,thats y its there! I used to be too proud to ask for help but if u love urself n u love ur kids u NEED TO GET OUT. Im just waiting on child support n im gone again! I cant take being miserable anymore! Two things have always kept me with him... our kids n a financial need. The financially part will b taken care of by child support n ill just have to deal with my kids crying for their dad. Im better off without him. I was just too scared. Do what u need to. It may even take months but IT WILL BE WORTH IT!! Good luck
dealing

Bellevue, WA

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#11
Oct 15, 2012
 
well this is my third attempt to post, I hope it goes through. I've typed some great responses and they were lost in space....lol Thank you ladies for your comments. I loved the way BooHoo assumed I was uneducated, as if my brain capacity has anything to do with this. I know what the answer is, it's executing the actions ahead of me that is holding me back. My children are well rounded and love both of us. I'm hoping that he comes to his senses and sees what he has to loose. He kicks the gift horse in the face everyday. He's a man, and their brains work diffrently. Life becomes a habit along with every other thing that is habit forming. But yes, it is solely up to me to change my situation and wasn't looking for advice, just a way to vent without burdening a happy person.
Wow

Bixby, OK

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#12
Oct 15, 2012
 
What does an uneducated person have to do with this post for ur information u do not have to be educated to have common sense the majority of men hello that have great paying jobs are uneducated it's the machismo in these men that make them think they r superior if jobs out there paid us women equally then believe me there would be many many many many more divorced stop acting like such moron because u r educated bet u I can do ur job way better than u!
Boohoo

Alice, TX

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#13
Oct 15, 2012
 
It's has everything to do with this post. Your right men can work in the oilfield & make a killing. Woman can't make crap unless they have some form of higher education. It's NOT fair & it sucks but that's the way it is. It's so much easier to blame, vent or whatever you want to call it, then to take responsibility for your own happiness. Whining or blaming doesn't change the fact. Put your BIG girl panties on & do better, do the best you can. We live in the land of opportunity. Woman shouldn't bring children into the world if they can't afford them, lord knows we can't depend on men. & I know it takes two to tango!
Seriously

United States

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#14
Oct 15, 2012
 
Boohoo wrote:
Its a two way street, quit blaming him because your uneducated & obviously can't provide shit... Well beans for your kids. Leave & do him & your children a favor. If you want sympathy go cry some place else, you had 4 children with a man whom you say is mental, maybe you should've stopped at the first one. Sorry no sympathy for women like you! Grow up.
Uh a little rude don't you think she needs words of encouragement not negative BS! Seems like your the one that needs to grow up

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