Answer to your question: the transformation of aging, when you realize the preciousness of your time, the uncertainty of tomorrow, the reorganizing your priorities, the divesting of your psychological baggage, the letting go of the significance you used to put on what is the gratuitous and in the grand scheme of things unimportant-things that tend to happen when the abstraction that has been your mortality most your life finally becomes that BIG TRUTH it is.
As to the rest, I'm firm in my identity and actually look at my lesbianism as the most spritually liberating factors of my life and I see it very much as a gift. I've always been "out", never engaged in any self-loathing and never had the desire to be anyone other than who I am.
I'm not going to engage in any arguement about it, whatever might be true within the boundaries of your world view certainly doesn't have any validity in mine and certainly doesn't seem to be worth my time and effort confront them as there is nothing to gain by your advocacy and nothing to lose by your opposition.But thanks for a small insight into your existence, always appreciate learning about mu fellow humans in all their nuances.
These thoughts came to mind.