Robbers take cash, beer

Robbers take cash, beer

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“Just Watching the Parade”

Since: Jul 07

Akron

#1 Apr 7, 2009
Robbers take cash, beer
By Beacon Journal staff
POSTED: 02:20 p.m. EDT, Apr 06, 2009
Two men walked into an Akron convenience store early Saturday morning armed with a handgun and walked out with a small amount of money and a six pack of beer.
An employee at the Circle K, 1842 Newton St., told police two men entered the store about 5:30 a.m. and approached the register with the beer.
When the employee asked for identification, one of the men pulled a handgun from his waistband and demanded money from the cash register. The men got away with a minimal amount of cash and a six pack of Coors beer.
Police are looking for two white men, ages 19 to 23. One man was between 5 feet 5 inches and 5 feet 8 inches tall and weighs between 130 to 150 pounds. He was wearing a blue hooded sweatshirt over a white shirt and blue jeans.
The second man, who was armed with a handgun, was between 5 feet 7 inches and 5 feet 10 inches tall and weighs between 140 and 160 pounds. He was wearing a blue baseball hat, a white- and blue-striped hooded sweatshirt and blue jeans.

Simply amazing.
Robbers by nature are under-achievers, but these two have got to be the poster boys for under-achievers.
Why didn't you two ramp it up a bit and take some nacho chips while you were there, eh?
I wonder if the clerk (Who, thankfully was not harmed in this stupid scenario) thought these guys were being a bit less than your basic "bold deceivers"
Robber #1: "This is a stick up! Give us all your cash... and this beer!"
Clerk: "Umm... you guys are commiting armed robbery for a six pack of Coors and small change?"
Robber #2: "He's right Gene, er... I mean Sundance... throw in these Barbeque Chips and a package of Wet Wipes."
Clerk: "Wet Wipes?"
Robber #2: "The chips get my fingers all icky."

“Lohio Bound”

Since: Oct 07

Location hidden

#2 Apr 7, 2009
COORS!!?? Yuk!

These guys are DANGEROUS, approach with caution.

“Just Watching the Parade”

Since: Jul 07

Akron

#3 Apr 8, 2009
Scooter Moonpie wrote:
COORS!!?? Yuk!
These guys are DANGEROUS, approach with caution.
It's even scarier if these guys figured that by stealing Coors they were going "upscale".

“Lohio Bound”

Since: Oct 07

Location hidden

#4 Apr 8, 2009
B_Radley wrote:
<quoted text>
It's even scarier if these guys figured that by stealing Coors they were going "upscale".
Hmmm. Given the choice between Coor's and Steel Reserve, well, I'd go Golden CO too.

“Just Watching the Parade”

Since: Jul 07

Akron

#6 Apr 8, 2009
"Steel Reserve... served exclusively at Gitmo".
Festus

Newton Falls, OH

#7 Apr 8, 2009
How About some good old favorites:

Carling Black Label
Carling Red Cap Ale
P.O.C.
Schlitz
Blatz Beer
Burger Beer from Burkhardts Brewery
Iron City

I'm from Milwaukee and I outta know, it's Baltz Beer, Blatz Beer, wherever you go, Smoother, Clearer, Less Filling that's clear, Blatz is Milwaukee's finest beer.

“Lohio Bound”

Since: Oct 07

Location hidden

#8 Apr 8, 2009
It's the beer that made Mel Famey walk us.

(punchline from an old drunken baseball player joke)

---

Hudepohl
Weidemann
Red White and Blue
Old Frothingslosh
Hop'n Gator
Festus

Newton Falls, OH

#9 Apr 8, 2009
Scooter Moonpie wrote:
It's the beer that made Mel Famey walk us.
(punchline from an old drunken baseball player joke)
---
Hudepohl
Weidemann
Red White and Blue
Old Frothingslosh
Hop'n Gator
Renner Brewery Kegs were $30 plus $15 deposit
Falstaff

“Lohio Bound”

Since: Oct 07

Location hidden

#10 Apr 8, 2009
Festus wrote:
How About some good old favorites:
Carling Black Label
IMO, one of the most subtle jokes ever told was in the movie "Animal House," in the scene in which da boyz take their dates from Emily Dickinson College to a road house called the Dexter Lake Club where Otis Day and the Knights are playing a gig. The boys and their dates are the only white people in the place.

The character Boon goes to the bar and asks for "A rock and rye and seven Carlings."

NOBODY as far as I know has ever ordered a "Carling...."

---

"Mabel...(fill in the jingle)"

---

Festus, thanks for churning up my childhood alcoholism memories, man. Chugging six packs of warm Stroh's down by the riverbank. Good stuff. Heh.

the REAL action

Since: Dec 08

Location hidden

#11 Apr 8, 2009
thats where Deplume got lit today(@@)

“Lohio Bound”

Since: Oct 07

Location hidden

#12 Apr 8, 2009
B_Radley wrote:
"Steel Reserve... served exclusively at Gitmo".
Boo, that's funny on at least a couple different levels! good 1.

“Just Watching the Parade”

Since: Jul 07

Akron

#13 Apr 8, 2009
Yet deep down, I'm quite shallow.
Festus

Newton Falls, OH

#14 Apr 8, 2009
Scooter Moonpie wrote:
<quoted text>
IMO, one of the most subtle jokes ever told was in the movie "Animal House," in the scene in which da boyz take their dates from Emily Dickinson College to a road house called the Dexter Lake Club where Otis Day and the Knights are playing a gig. The boys and their dates are the only white people in the place.
The character Boon goes to the bar and asks for "A rock and rye and seven Carlings."
NOBODY as far as I know has ever ordered a "Carling...."
---
"Mabel...(fill in the jingle)"
---
Festus, thanks for churning up my childhood alcoholism memories, man. Chugging six packs of warm Stroh's down by the riverbank. Good stuff. Heh.
What River? Wouldn't be the Cuyahoga, would it? If so, you a member of the VBA?

the REAL action

Since: Dec 08

Location hidden

#15 Apr 8, 2009
wha happened??????

“Lohio Bound”

Since: Oct 07

Location hidden

#16 Apr 9, 2009
Festus wrote:
<quoted text>
What River? Wouldn't be the Cuyahoga, would it? If so, you a member of the VBA?
Ohio.

What's a VBA?
Festus

Newton Falls, OH

#17 Apr 9, 2009
Scooter Moonpie wrote:
<quoted text>
Ohio.
What's a VBA?
We had the same River parties here on the Cuyahoga, you had to be a member of the Valley Boys Association to attend. Friday or saturday nights, drink Strohs, jump in the river.

“Lohio Bound”

Since: Oct 07

Location hidden

#18 Apr 9, 2009
Festus wrote:
<quoted text>
We had the same River parties here on the Cuyahoga, you had to be a member of the Valley Boys Association to attend. Friday or saturday nights, drink Strohs, jump in the river.
Heheheh. Alcohol, darkness, and moving water. Oh, those were the days.

“Just thumpin'”

Since: Mar 09

New York, NY

#19 Apr 9, 2009
Anybody ever try Anchor Steam?

“Lohio Bound”

Since: Oct 07

Location hidden

#20 Apr 9, 2009
Thumpety wrote:
Anybody ever try Anchor Steam?
Yesh. I likes it.

the REAL action

Since: Dec 08

Location hidden

#21 Apr 9, 2009
eeeeeeeeeeeuuuuuuuu the cuyahoga?????you didn't light matches did ya teehee(@@)

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