Great Holiday Gift Idea: Marco's A Ve...

Great Holiday Gift Idea: Marco's A Very CrAkron Christmas

Posted in the Akron Forum

“I'm as Mad as Hell...”

Since: Mar 07

Your Neighbor & Friend

#1 Dec 1, 2008
(A paid advertisement) Home Shopping Network in conjunction with OMG Enterprises announces a holiday album songfest to put you in the spirit: Marco's A Very CrAkron Christmas! Featuring tunes by Marco and his friends (artists in parenthesis):

It's the Most Fattening Time of the Year (Marco and Tina Merletti)

The FBI is Comin' to Town (Carl Monday)

We Three Queens (Cap'n Rusty/Big Alex/Thong Boy)

Up on the Housetop, aka: "Git Offa My Roof, Fat Honky!" (Marco)

Do You Know WHO I AM (Sponge Don)

Rusty the Snowblower (All)

Marco Got Run Over by the Metro (K.B. Barbershop Quartet)

I Saw Thong Boy Kissing Santa Claus (Homewrecker Melissa/Appraisit/Betamax)

Little Drunken Boy (Sponge Don w/Uncle Joe and Uncle Ray)

Sponge Don the Red Nosed Boozehound (Old Man Grump, Nurse Goodbody and the Lawn Gnomes)

Walkin' Scared in Hoodie Wonderland (Marco)

O Little Town of Barbertucky (The Meter Pullers)

God !@*%#$@ Ye Stupid Taxpayers (Sponge Don)

Wreck the Halls (of Helen Arnold)(Marco & Little Tyree)

Whigger Wonderland (Kenmoretucky Do Rags)

We Need a Little Crys' Meth (Firestone Park Albino Hood Rats)

The Christmas Son, aka: Don's Nuts Roasting at the Steam Plant (Homewecker Melissa & Miss Tia)

Order TODAY! PS: We are taking suggestions for additional tunes. Feel free to submit your ideas for 2009!

Sincerely, OMG Enterprises.

“Watch out, I might be angry...”

Since: Sep 07

North Ghetto Hill

#2 Dec 1, 2008
brilliant!!!

“Lohio Bound”

Since: Oct 07

Location hidden

#3 Dec 1, 2008
Nark! The Harried Stoolies Sing
(Austracized and the H00dies)

Whose Child is This?(SCCS)

The First NoWay (SoS Voters Choir)

I'm Dreaming of a Racially Neutral Winter Holiday (Marco and the Morticians)

Oh Little Gun of Sommerville (CAK TSA Singers)

Away in a Briefcase (reprise: CAK TSA Singers)

It's Beginning to Feel a Lot Like Recall (Mendenhall Steamroller)

“Watch out, I might be angry...”

Since: Sep 07

North Ghetto Hill

#4 Dec 1, 2008
Scooter Moonpie wrote:
Nark! The Harried Stoolies Sing
(Austracized and the H00dies)
Whose Child is This?(SCCS)
The First NoWay (SoS Voters Choir)
I'm Dreaming of a Racially Neutral Winter Holiday (Marco and the Morticians)
Oh Little Gun of Sommerville (CAK TSA Singers)
Away in a Briefcase (reprise: CAK TSA Singers)
It's Beginning to Feel a Lot Like Recall (Mendenhall Steamroller)
another brilliant set!!!

“Lohio Bound”

Since: Oct 07

Location hidden

#5 Dec 2, 2008
Miss Tia wrote:
<quoted text>
another brilliant set!!!
You talkin''bout my man boobies?
(grrrr)
; )

“I'm as Mad as Hell...”

Since: Mar 07

Your Neighbor & Friend

#6 Dec 2, 2008
Scooter Moonpie wrote:
<quoted text>
You talkin''bout my man boobies?
(grrrr)
; )
Marco says he's willing to share his JMS catalog with ya, Scooter (JMS = Just Marco's Size)

“Lohio Bound”

Since: Oct 07

Location hidden

#7 Dec 2, 2008
Howard Beale Jr wrote:
<quoted text>
Marco says he's willing to share his JMS catalog with ya, Scooter (JMS = Just Marco's Size)
That would be Wardrobe by Goodyear, Blimp Division.

Since: Mar 07

Kent, OH

#8 Dec 2, 2008
Though not in line with the topic, here's Marco's personalized hoodie xmas carol.

This is a tad off color, so those of y'all that are easily offended, stop here.

Wus da night afo' Crizzmus,
and all thru da hood,

everybody be sleepin' and da sleepin' be good.

We hunged up our stockins, an hoped like all heck,

dat dear Ol' Obama's, gunna brang us our checks.

All of da family, was ly'in on the flow,

my sister wif her gurlfriend, and my brother wif some hoe.

Ashtrays was all full , empty beer cans and all

when I heared such a fuss, I thunk...."Sh'eet, it must be da law".

I pulled the sheet off da windoe and what I'ze could see,

I was spectin' the sherrif, wif a warrent fo' me.

But what did I see, made me say, "Laaawd look at dat".

dere was a huge watermelon, pulled by 8 big-arsed rats.

Now over all of da years, Santy Claws he be white,

but it looks like us brotha's, got a black un'
tonight.

Faster than a poe'lice car, my homeboy he came,

and whupped up on dem rats, as he called dem by name.

On Biden, On Jessie, On Polosi and Hillary Who

On Fannie, On Freddi, On Ayers, and Slick Willy too.

Obama landed dat melon, right there in da street,

I knowed it fo' sho',- can you believe that Sh'eet!.

Dat Santy didn't need no chimney, he picked da lock on my doe,

an I sez to myself, "Son o' beech...he don did dis befoe"!

He had a big bag, full of presents - at first I suspeck?

Wif "Air Jordans" and fake gold, to wear roun my neck.

But he left me no presents, just started stealin my sh'eet.

He got my guns and my crack, and my new burglers kit.

Den, wif my crap in his bag, out da windoe he flew,

I sho' woulda shanked him, be he snagged my knife too.

He jumped back on dat melon, wif out even a hitch,

and waz gone in two seconds, "democrat son of a beech".

So nex year I be hopin', a white Santy we git,

'cause a black Santy Claws, just ain't worf a sh'eet !!!!

“How I suffered for my sanity”

Since: Oct 08

Location hidden

#9 Dec 2, 2008
Betamax wrote:
Though not in line with the topic, here's Marco's personalized hoodie xmas carol.
This is a tad off color, so those of y'all that are easily offended, stop here.
Wus da night afo' Crizzmus,
and all thru da hood,
everybody be sleepin' and da sleepin' be good.
We hunged up our stockins, an hoped like all heck,
dat dear Ol' Obama's, gunna brang us our checks.
All of da family, was ly'in on the flow,
my sister wif her gurlfriend, and my brother wif some hoe.
Ashtrays was all full , empty beer cans and all
when I heared such a fuss, I thunk...."Sh'eet, it must be da law".
I pulled the sheet off da windoe and what I'ze could see,
I was spectin' the sherrif, wif a warrent fo' me.
But what did I see, made me say, "Laaawd look at dat".
dere was a huge watermelon, pulled by 8 big-arsed rats.
Now over all of da years, Santy Claws he be white,
but it looks like us brotha's, got a black un'
tonight.
Faster than a poe'lice car, my homeboy he came,
and whupped up on dem rats, as he called dem by name.
On Biden, On Jessie, On Polosi and Hillary Who
On Fannie, On Freddi, On Ayers, and Slick Willy too.
Obama landed dat melon, right there in da street,
I knowed it fo' sho',- can you believe that Sh'eet!.
Dat Santy didn't need no chimney, he picked da lock on my doe,
an I sez to myself, "Son o' beech...he don did dis befoe"!
He had a big bag, full of presents - at first I suspeck?
Wif "Air Jordans" and fake gold, to wear roun my neck.
But he left me no presents, just started stealin my sh'eet.
He got my guns and my crack, and my new burglers kit.
Den, wif my crap in his bag, out da windoe he flew,
I sho' woulda shanked him, be he snagged my knife too.
He jumped back on dat melon, wif out even a hitch,
and waz gone in two seconds, "democrat son of a beech".
So nex year I be hopin', a white Santy we git,
'cause a black Santy Claws, just ain't worf a sh'eet !!!!
I'm not easily offended. Greatstuff!

“I'm as Mad as Hell...”

Since: Mar 07

Your Neighbor & Friend

#11 Dec 2, 2008
Beta,

OMG Enterprises just called. Said your tome is the lead cut for the 2009 album. Your contract is, as they say, in the mail.

Heartwarming tale of the season: I hear Marco, ever the good neighbor, went to place a Christmas wreath on Rastus' front door. Rastus shot him. Thought he was someone attachin' a foreclosure notice.

“Lohio Bound”

Since: Oct 07

Location hidden

#12 Dec 25, 2008
"Sponge Don Got Run Over by a Recall"

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