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1 - 20 of 31 Comments Last updated Oct 22, 2013
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Wife

Sebring, OH

#1 Oct 16, 2013
I want my husband so badly. He is so hot and such a great person. We've been married over 15 years and have a few kids. When we lay in bed at night he cuddles with me, but then goes to sleep with no interest in me to take it any further. I tell him how he looks great when he goes to work, I do everything I can to let him know I'm interested, but careful not to be trashy in front of the kids. I get in bed with nothing on underneath, but he doesn't even try to find out if I have on anything underneath. Just rolls over and goes to sleep. If I do initiate, he'll do it, and does it very well. But I'm so tired of always being the one doing the pursuing. It feels like he only does it out of obligation to me, not because he really wants to. I'm over 40, but not horrible looking. 5'6, 125, long hair and completely decent looking from most angles. Sure I've got some extra skin from the pregnancies but a big scar from a tummy tuck would be way worse than what I've got now. I just don't know what else to do to get him to want me that way and pursue me like I think a man would normally do. I'm starting to get really low self esteem from thinking he doesn't want me. If I confront him, he says he does want me, but that's not what he acts like unless I bring it up. I don't want to seem aloof, but then I don't want to smother him either. If I act cool and wait for him to make a move, it would not happen for months - I've tried that. I'm inclined to believe what he does instead of what he says. How do you get a husband who is completely capable and proficient at it to want it? I don't want to cheat on him. I want HIM. Just want to be wanted back.
Jim Bob

Bowling Green, KY

#2 Oct 16, 2013
Hi,If your lonely and need some attention I can help you.
My wife is just like your husband.
Contact me at. lff111262rocketmail.com
well

Fayetteville, AR

#3 Oct 16, 2013
Blow him more on random, sporadic occasions, and let him do anal. He prolly wants it freakier.

ORRRRR

He is tired from working so much, possibly, and it isn't anything to do with you. Maybe hes just worn down, needs a vacation...maybe he's lost confidence in himself, as well.
Wife

Sebring, OH

#4 Oct 16, 2013
well wrote:
Blow him more on random, sporadic occasions, and let him do anal. He prolly wants it freakier.
ORRRRR
He is tired from working so much, possibly, and it isn't anything to do with you. Maybe hes just worn down, needs a vacation...maybe he's lost confidence in himself, as well.
Tried the above already. I'm the freaky one in this. Makes me feel like something's wrong with me for wanting to try something different for a change. He does work hard - his work ethic is one of his best qualities. I know he takes care of things himself, if you know what I mean. Just wish he's save it for me instead.
Karma

Campbellsville, KY

#5 Oct 17, 2013
I am like you. Same issue. Except he's told me he's bored. Even got pleasure from flirting on Craigslist - yet the person mentioning working a lot and losing confidence in himself was a realization of a possible catalyst. Mine has two jobs - one has been refusing to grant him his dream position for months despite his skills. How often do we push them for what's not there when they're too tired or stressed? Maybe WE need the holiday. To appreciate ourselves and become happier without being so insistent upon sex so they will too. We must show them they are what we want even if it's just to be together. As for the concern of self-pleasure, it is simpler and faster compared to pleasing another too. Maybe a change of scenery or flirting? If yours uses porn, browse his web history and shock him by being a persona? Good luck to us both...
Gala

United States

#6 Oct 17, 2013
Make sure, there is no one else. Mine did the same, he was gettin his sexual needs filled somewhere else. U sound like a awesome soul, make sure this isn't the case. Any man that is turning down sex, is fulfilling his needs somewhere.
woof woof

Anniston, AL

#7 Oct 17, 2013
Buy a large guard dog.
Wife

Sebring, OH

#8 Oct 17, 2013
Only evidence of cheating is circumstantial. Gets upset if I touch his computer, passcode on the phone, and he works with women all day every day, ones that will cover for him too. He's good looking, makes a good living and is in excellent shape. Who wouldn't want him? He's like Christian Grey in reality. I mean he's not perfect. He can be an a-hole when he wants to. But so can I. I don't think I could catch him cheating because his job requires he be in situations with women all the time. He would just get offended and angry and deny anything if I accuse him. I try not to think about it. I'm not the jealous type and won't fight for him if he wants to go elsewhere. Of course it would hurt me beyond description if I found out he was cheating, but if he doesn't want me, then I'm not going to force myself on anyone.

Regardless, I just want him to want me so bad that he just has to have it right then. To pick me up, carry me to the bedroom and have his way with me, in a way that makes me feel safe, valued and wanted. The way it is, he could take it or leave it, and that's just not the same.
hey wife

United States

#9 Oct 17, 2013
how can I get in touch with you
ugh

Anniston, AL

#10 Oct 17, 2013
Get a lawyer. He's cheating. Hire a private investigator to get you all the proof to nail him in court. Sorry for your loss.
R Baldwin

Russellville, KY

#11 Oct 17, 2013
cuckold him... while he watches. thats probably the porn you'd find on hiscomputer if you could access it.
Sorry

Hopkinsville, KY

#12 Oct 17, 2013
There is no reason to keep a passcode from your spouse or keep a private computer if you aren't hiding something. Believe me I've lived that before when I was cheating and unhappily married. Now I'm with someone I'm happy with my life is an open book. I don't mean this as a smartazz but you have at least two choices, leave things alone and nothing will ever change or confront him. But if you confront him be prepared for the ugly truth which could lead to divorce but do you really want to stay with someone for the rest of your life that doesn't want you? From a man's perspective I cannot imagine not wanting sex. Minimum I want it is 4 times per week and some weeks every day. Make sure you aren't the type of partner that makes sex a chore. My wife and I totally understand each other, our worst sex is better than self pleasure. There are times she really doesn't want it or is too tired for it but will allow me my release and basically takes one for the team and then there are those rare times I'm too tired or stressed to initiate it and she will and I would say take one for the team but I always rise to the occasion. I wish you the best of luck.....

Since: Oct 13

Sebring, OH

#13 Oct 17, 2013
hey wife wrote:
how can I get in touch with you
Forums allow for anonymity.
Exactly

Bowling Green, KY

#14 Oct 17, 2013
Gala wrote:
Make sure, there is no one else. Mine did the same, he was gettin his sexual needs filled somewhere else. U sound like a awesome soul, make sure this isn't the case. Any man that is turning down sex, is fulfilling his needs somewhere.
You're exactly right. He's playin around.
Jim Bob

Bowling Green, KY

#15 Oct 17, 2013
Hey wife my email is lff11126@rocketmail.com
mikenc

Union Mills, NC

#17 Oct 17, 2013
Wife wrote:
Only evidence of cheating is circumstantial. Gets upset if I touch his computer, passcode on the phone, and he works with women all day every day, ones that will cover for him too. He's good looking, makes a good living and is in excellent shape. Who wouldn't want him? He's like Christian Grey in reality. I mean he's not perfect. He can be an a-hole when he wants to. But so can I. I don't think I could catch him cheating because his job requires he be in situations with women all the time. He would just get offended and angry and deny anything if I accuse him. I try not to think about it. I'm not the jealous type and won't fight for him if he wants to go elsewhere. Of course it would hurt me beyond description if I found out he was cheating, but if he doesn't want me, then I'm not going to force myself on anyone.
Regardless, I just want him to want me so bad that he just has to have it right then. To pick me up, carry me to the bedroom and have his way with me, in a way that makes me feel safe, valued and wanted. The way it is, he could take it or leave it, and that's just not the same.

Tell him that, tell him a fantasy of yours. plant a seed in his head and see if it grows.
mikenc

Union Mills, NC

#18 Oct 17, 2013
Jim Bob wrote:
Hey wife my email is lff11126@rocketmail.com
hey jim bob got akl your teeth how bout I email you, I'll show you something you've never seen, the other end of that little thing you play with. stop being a stalking predator you prick.
Funny

United States

#19 Oct 17, 2013
First I wouldn't get any advise from topix. Already all the professional relationship counselors are out. And all the stupid he's cheating bitches.
gala

United States

#20 Oct 17, 2013
if he is cheating two can play that game. do it to him, might just spice up your sex life, I know this is bad , but revenge is awesome , just be safe , and make sure you are protected, if you go that route
Rep

Bowling Green, KY

#21 Oct 18, 2013
Yeah, get an STD and give it to him. That will teach him a lesson.Just like the federal govt.

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