#43 Oct 22, 2013
Submitted a condensed version of "Some of Us" to Christianity Today as a letter. Included that Jesus Christ did not let go absolutely when baptized by John otherwise he wouldn't have struggled in the Garden of Gethsemane; only after saying "It is finished" did Jesus let go absolutely.
#44 Oct 27, 2013
Selling my soul to: He Who Has No Name, got me off of smack.
#45 Nov 9, 2013
Distributed 'Some of Us' at AA meetings recently. Very hateful and disrespectful response in one meeting. Another meeting, much ridicule and patronizing for questioning AA's teachings. A meeting last night, more tolerance but the members were patronizing, responded to me as though I were a sick person (like the Big Book suggests when dealing with a troubling person).
Spoke at meeting last night, explained of having 28 years clean/sober and the abuse experienced in AA. Shared of how certain old timers guiding me through the steps the first time--not all of them but certain influential one's that seemed to have the best sobriety and give AA talks on occassion to standing room only crowds--that when I was troubled over not being able to find the willingness to let go absolutely as AA insists one must they responded that I was "full of sh*t"/making excuses).
That seemed like "tough love" at the time, that they were telling me an unpleasant truth. So that stuck to my forehead for many a year in AA; felt I'd not worked the steps sufficiently. And they regarded me so as well--kept me away from newcomers so I would not be spreading the disease instead of the solution.
One oldtimer stood on my foot and positioned his body between myself and I newcomer I was attempting to talk to before a meeting. That sort of thing. One woman said "We keep the sick one's away from the newcomers--that's why they become involved in AA service". Which is what happened--I turned away from "12-stepping" and involved myself in AA service work. All the while believing I was a sick person still becasue I'd failed at working AA's program of recovery as outlined in How It Works, etc.
It was actually cathartic to share all that, as I realized on a deeper level how wrong those influential oldtimers were. Realized last night too that it took reading non-AA Conference Approved information (the New York Times article about Serenity prayer author Reinhold Niebuhr--'Forgetting Reinhold Niebuhr') to learn of the concept 'absolutism' and how no human mortal has ever let go absolutely.
Made the connection that is why controlling members are so adamant about not allowing anything that is not AA Conference Approved. They don't want those they are lording it over to figure out the deception involved.
Also, made the connection, and included it into a revised 'Some of Us', that Jesus Christ did not let go absolutely when baptized by John (see AA's insisting on letting absolutely "from the very start"); Jesus did not let go absolutely until saying "It is finished" on the Cross.
#46 Nov 9, 2013
Just found--this is quite excellent--have always loved the rendition by Miles Davis on 'Sketches of Spain'...somehow the video appears in relation to Gigliola Cinquetti:
Concerto ''Aranjuez''per il ritorno di Gloria in Youtube coi suoi video di Gigliola Cinquetti
video by ridarzola57
#47 Nov 9, 2013
Okay, the info. under the vid explains, according to a very rough online translation, that it's dedicated to Gigliola Cinquetti. It's quite good--just listened to it again.
#48 Nov 10, 2013
Distributed 'Some of Us' at a large AA meeting last night. Extreme intolerance from one man who shouted at me to get out of there. That was the identical response received in Tucson, Az when handing out the paper before a meeting.
Then a woman approached me and said I needed to stop distributing the paper since it was not AA Conference Approved. A man said the same thing, and that it was my opinion--not AA. Apparently a person needs AA Conference Approval for their opinions, because I tried to tell them the paper was specifically about AA but they wouldn't listen.
The man that angrily shouted at me to leave the meeting (when he said that I responded there was nothing wrong with what I was doing and proceeded further into the meeting room--he was near the entrance--and continued distributing. I'd already passed it out to most people there, so began walking out when the man near the entrance fired the balled up 'Some of Us' at my head as I walked out the door.
Love and tolerance of others is the code of AA; again, it's not actualized when AA's teachings are scrutinized. Couldn't be a clearer demonstration that there is something profoundly wrong with AA's teachings or else people would not be so defensive. That and the way AA teaches dependence on it instead of God, meaning people are (myself included) indoctrinated to believe they are dependent upon it therefore to question AA is to threaten the dependence.
A positive thing occurred--one man spoke to me saying he was at the meeting the previous night when a man hatefully ridiculed me, treating me very disrespectfully and in a threatening manner--this man said that was quite awful to witness and he almost left the meeting because of it. I thnaked him for saying so, said it had hurt my feelings to be treated that way (it also affected my health very much for the worse--the stress of the threat of a physical fight affected my heart; it's most likely chronic myocarditis since 5 years ago--that was not officially diagnosed but the specific symptoms, and its being a manifestation of Lyme disease--which has been repeatedly diagnosed--makes me think that's what it is; probable lung cancer diagnosed too, the stress of intolerance cannot be good for any of these health issues).
#49 Nov 10, 2013
That is an excellent rendition; just listened again today:
Concerto ''Aranjuez''per il ritorno di Gloria in Youtube coi suoi video di Gigliola Cinquetti.
video by ridarzola57
#50 Nov 10, 2013
Love that Rosy Armen "Marie Joconde" video; this one is good too:
Mick Micheyl "La Joconde" .
video by Ina Chansons
#51 Nov 13, 2013
Hadn't viewed this one in a long time--great video:
Dalida 1966 Parlez Moi De Lui
video by DalidaFanClub
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