Welcome aboard. I'm glad you finally found the gravy train too.I just want to thank my beautiful president obama for letting all my family come here from Honduras. We are getting lots of stuff free like medicines and good food and nice places to live. I don't think me our my family will ever go back. It feels good just to kick back and relax after our long journey. I won't have to work no more. Thank you president obama I hope you become president forever!
However, there is a long standing tradition amongst our people that I would like to call your attention to - once settled and set up with all the lovely benefits of being an American, newly arrived immigrants are supposed to throw a party for your friends, relatives and other acquaintances. There should be plenty of beer and booze, which you can buy on your EBT card if you know where to go. Also, plenty of food is needed, preferably steak fajitas with fresh guacamole. You should have plenty of money on your card to afford it. Finally, you need to round up your sisters, cousins and aunts to provide the entertainment. They can do a dance, preferably wearing a thong or g-string. Once you throw the party, then you're on the list for all future parties thrown when some of our people are able to make it here. If you need any help, let me know. I look forward to toasting Uncle Sam and all his lovely benefits soon!