“reign in blood”

Since: May 09

Wilmington, IL

#1 Apr 28, 2014
DEAR ABBY: Child abuse is epidemic in the United States. It occurs at every socioeconomic level, across ethnic and cultural levels, within all religions and at all levels of education. Every year, more than 3 million reports of child abuse are made in the U.S. Without intervention, about 30 percent of those abused and neglected children will later abuse their own children.

With the proper skills, all parents can raise happy, healthy children. Treatment is necessary, but our communities also need to do a better job at prevention.

April is Child Abuse Prevention Month. Please ask your readers to learn about programs and activities in their communities that support parents and promote healthy families.-- JOHN E. THORESEN, DIRECTOR, BARBARA SINATRA CHILDREN'S CENTER, RANCHO MIRAGE, CALIF.

DEAR MR. THORESEN: Thank you for your letter. Readers, the first step to curbing child abuse is recognizing it. These are the 10 most common indicators:

1. UNEXPLAINED INJURIES: Visible signs may include burns or bruises in the shape of objects. There may be unconvincing explanations for a child's injuries.

2. CHANGES IN BEHAVIOR: Abused children often appear scared, anxious, depressed, withdrawn or more aggressive.

3. RETURNING TO EARLIER BEHAVIOR: Abused children may display behaviors shown when they were younger, such as thumb-sucking, bed-wetting, fear of the dark or strangers. For some, loss of basic language or memory problems may occur.

4. FEAR OF GOING HOME: Abused children may express fear or anxiety about leaving school or going places with the abuser.

5. CHANGES IN EATING: The stress, fear and anxiety lead to changes in a child's eating behaviors, which may result in weight gain or weight loss.

6. CHANGES IN SLEEP HABITS: The child may have frequent nightmares or have difficulty falling asleep, and appear tired or fatigued.

7. CHANGES IN SCHOOL PERFORMANCE OR ATTENDANCE: Children may demonstrate difficulty concentrating in school or experience excessive absences, sometimes because of adults trying to hide the children's injuries from authorities.

8. LACK OF PERSONAL CARE OR HYGIENE: The child may appear unkempt, be consistently dirty and have severe body odor, or lack sufficient clothing for the weather.

9. RISK-TAKING BEHAVIORS: The child may engage in high-risk activities such as using drugs or alcohol, or carrying a weapon.

10. INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL BEHAVIOR: A sexually abused child may exhibit overly sexualized behavior or use explicit sexual language.

We can all support children and parents to reduce the stress that often leads to abuse and neglect. Be a friend to a parent or child you know. Volunteer your time or donate to programs that support child abuse treatment and prevention as well as those that build healthy families. Trust your instincts. Suspected abuse is enough of a reason to contact authorities.

“A Programmer is not in IT!”

Since: Feb 09

Neda, stay with me! Charlie

#2 Apr 28, 2014
PSA, did not even read it. If your a pedo, your going to jail.

“I Am Mine”

Since: Dec 08

Location hidden

#3 Apr 28, 2014
RACE wrote:
PSA, did not even read it. If your a pedo, your going to jail.
saw a story this weekend. Brazil. Dude raped his 1 year old son. In prison, they brutally raped him repeatedly. Required medical attention. Stitches. Prisoners tore stitches out and did it again.

“A Programmer is not in IT!”

Since: Feb 09

Neda, stay with me! Charlie

#4 Apr 28, 2014
Should rip his pecker off and make him eat it.
Mister Tonka wrote:
<quoted text> saw a story this weekend. Brazil. Dude raped his 1 year old son. In prison, they brutally raped him repeatedly. Required medical attention. Stitches. Prisoners tore stitches out and did it again.
Pippa

Hancock, NY

#5 Apr 28, 2014
Guys, child abuse is more than just sexual abuse. Plenty of kids are abused by parents beating them, shutting them up in dark closets for long periods of time, withholding food, burning them with cigarettes, and so on. I certainly don't discount the sexual abuse which is awful in and of itself. I'm just saying that it can be other things as well. It seems to me that beating up or sexually assaulting a child should have stronger consequences than doing it an adult. I guess those prisoners you were referring to think that too.

Toj

“Where is Everyone?”

Since: Jul 12

Location hidden

#6 Apr 28, 2014
Mister Tonka wrote:
<quoted text> saw a story this weekend. Brazil. Dude raped his 1 year old son. In prison, they brutally raped him repeatedly. Required medical attention. Stitches. Prisoners tore stitches out and did it again.
Good.

Toj

“Where is Everyone?”

Since: Jul 12

Location hidden

#7 Apr 28, 2014
Pippa wrote:
Guys, child abuse is more than just sexual abuse. Plenty of kids are abused by parents beating them, shutting them up in dark closets for long periods of time, withholding food, burning them with cigarettes, and so on. I certainly don't discount the sexual abuse which is awful in and of itself. I'm just saying that it can be other things as well. It seems to me that beating up or sexually assaulting a child should have stronger consequences than doing it an adult. I guess those prisoners you were referring to think that too.
I agree. Laws are messed up.

“A Programmer is not in IT!”

Since: Feb 09

Neda, stay with me! Charlie

#8 Apr 28, 2014
True, but when you bring in any physical abuse to a child, it really comes down to your own personal view point, as Physical abuse is wrong, no matter who the victim is or their age.
Is elderly abuse less repugnant than child abuse?
I think it shocks us more when its abuse against a child because we are conditioned to protect children from the ugliness of the world, but in actuality, the abuse is the same, as burning an adult or elderly person. It's our brain that says its worse, because of our empathy for children.
Pippa wrote:
Guys, child abuse is more than just sexual abuse. Plenty of kids are abused by parents beating them, shutting them up in dark closets for long periods of time, withholding food, burning them with cigarettes, and so on. I certainly don't discount the sexual abuse which is awful in and of itself. I'm just saying that it can be other things as well. It seems to me that beating up or sexually assaulting a child should have stronger consequences than doing it an adult. I guess those prisoners you were referring to think that too.

“I Am Mine”

Since: Dec 08

Location hidden

#9 Apr 28, 2014
RACE wrote:
True, but when you bring in any physical abuse to a child, it really comes down to your own personal view point, as Physical abuse is wrong, no matter who the victim is or their age.
Is elderly abuse less repugnant than child abuse?
I think it shocks us more when its abuse against a child because we are conditioned to protect children from the ugliness of the world, but in actuality, the abuse is the same, as burning an adult or elderly person. It's our brain that says its worse, because of our empathy for children.
<quoted text>
I've heard a similar opinion with regard to hate crimes and domestic violence and I can't disagree. Why is hate crime violence or domestic violence treated more harshly than....violence?

“...,to wit”

Since: Jun 09

Location hidden

#11 Apr 28, 2014
It is easy to agree that child abuse is bad but it is sifficult to hande in teh real world.

Example:

Mom has 2 young kids. She is strapping the baby into the car seat. The 3 year old darts into the street. Mom retrieves him by grabbing his arm, gets him to the curb and swats his bottom hard enough to make him cry. Child abuse?
(As I recall that one made the papers a couple years ago because a bystander called the cops and arrested the mom)

Example

Family is going through a bad divorce, mom loses custody for alcoholism, dad is marginally employed. There is a 13 year old brother who has been acting out and a 9 year old sister who seems to be coping. Sister shows up at a girlfriend's house with a red mark on her face with clearly defined edges looking suspiciously like the sole of a shoe and says she fell out of bed. You are the friend's mom. What do you do?
Cass

Pomona, CA

#12 Apr 28, 2014
First, child abuse is NOT epidemic in the U.S. In fact, compared to how many kids were beaten and sexually exploited, say, 100 years ago, it's probably declined significantly. And it's probably a lot less than in many, many, many other countries. In fact, in some places people would look at you funny if you said that whipping your kid with a belt for bad grades or not doing his/her chores, or mouthing off is child abuse. For them, it's just normal punishment.

Second, what counts as child abuse and neglect? We can probably all agree that beating a child senseless, sexually molesting or raping them, or leaving them to fend for themselves for days is abuse and neglect, but some people will consider spanking your kid on the bum (like PEllen described) to be abuse. And some will consider that letting your 12 year old come home from school while you are at work and be by him/herself until you get home is neglect. How many of those 3 million reports are completely unfounded?

Third? I wonder how many of those 3 million reports are made by disgruntled exes and ex-in-laws in custody disputes? 3 million reports (1 per about 100 U.S. citizens) does not equal 3 million cases, let alone 3 million individual children affected.
Cass

Pomona, CA

#13 Apr 28, 2014
The published signs are important, but one needs to look not at individual "ticks," but at patterns and groupings of signs.

A single unexplained injury is not a clear sign of abuse, but repeated unexplained injuries may be. Or they may be clear signs of the kid being a klutz.

Repeated unexplained injuries combined with repeated fear of going home suggest a problem that needs to be investigated. If the kid constantly seems to have bruises because he/she "walked into a door," is afraid of going home after getting a bad grade to the point of panic, seems to be wearing the same stinky clothes day after day, etc., a report to CPS is warranted.
cheluzal

Plant City, FL

#14 Apr 28, 2014
Mister Tonka wrote:
<quoted text> saw a story this weekend. Brazil. Dude raped his 1 year old son. In prison, they brutally raped him repeatedly. Required medical attention. Stitches. Prisoners tore stitches out and did it again.
I like happy endings...

“On Deck”

Since: Aug 08

French Polynesia

#15 Apr 28, 2014
Yeah, most of the child abuse I saw is called shaken baby syndrome.
Some of those kids are in really bad shape when that happens.
Detached retinas make a solid confirmation.
Abuse can be hard to recognize in older kids and I didn't really see much of that over the years.
cheluzal

Plant City, FL

#16 Apr 29, 2014
loose cannon wrote:
Yeah, most of the child abuse I saw is called shaken baby syndrome.
Some of those kids are in really bad shape when that happens.
Detached retinas make a solid confirmation.
Abuse can be hard to recognize in older kids and I didn't really see much of that over the years.
I know not all of us are born smart, but I've always wondered how many slower kids were shaken as babies, but not enough to go to the hospitel or be found out.

“On Deck”

Since: Aug 08

French Polynesia

#17 Apr 29, 2014
Yeah, I forgot to mention that we were taught to always be on the lookout for defensive type of injuries.
One classic example of this is a mid-shaft ulna fracture from holding the forearm up to protect the face from getting hit.
It is a natural reflex to protect the face.

“A Programmer is not in IT!”

Since: Feb 09

Neda, stay with me! Charlie

#18 Apr 29, 2014
I never, ever want to have your job....
But I am glad someone like you does it.
loose cannon wrote:
Yeah, I forgot to mention that we were taught to always be on the lookout for defensive type of injuries.
One classic example of this is a mid-shaft ulna fracture from holding the forearm up to protect the face from getting hit.
It is a natural reflex to protect the face.

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