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“reign in blood”

Since: May 09

Braidwood, IL

#1 Oct 23, 2013
DEAR AMY: I am 15 years old. I have recently become a vegetarian for several reasons (mostly that I disagree with beef-production methods).

My mom is slightly overweight, but certainly nothing bad. She recently decided to become vegetarian as well, but I suspect she is doing so because she thinks it will help her lose weight. I am very health conscious, enjoy fruits and vegetables, and believe in well-rounded meals.

Is it possible for a mom to be anorexic? She seems to take eating to the extremes. She will often not eat more than a few noodles for dinner, skips breakfast often (she "forgets"), and I have no idea if she eats anything when I'm at school.

She claims she can get by eating much less, and will almost never have dessert or any sort of fried food. I have tried to help her realize this is not healthy, but she is in denial.

I am growing increasingly frustrated and worried. What do you suggest?-- Frustrated in CO

DEAR FRUSTRATED: Anyone -- at any age -- can develop an eating disorder. You should be honest with your mother about this. If you continue to suspect she is in trouble, tell an adult family member or friend who might be able to help.

Adult women and teenagers have different metabolism and needs. Your mother may eat her biggest meal at lunchtime (I do), and then try to have less food in the evening.

As new vegetarians, you both need to make sure your diets are nutritionally balanced. It would be best to see a nutritionist together. Also cook and eat together. The first function of food is to nourish your body. But food provides an important communal and family function.

I'm a fan of vegetarian cook Mollie Katzen. Her newest recipe book is "The Heart of the Plate: Vegetarian Recipes for a New Generation"

DEAR AMY: My wife and I welcomed our beautiful baby girl into the world about two weeks ago. Everyone is healthy and happy. Before she arrived, we took prenatal classes. One of the lessons we learned was the importance of supporting an infant's head while holding/passing the baby because they cannot do this themselves.

Several family members (ones with a lot of experience with babies) seem to have no concept of this. Watching this causes us both a great deal of anxiety and we have since avoided having these family members hold her.

I would like to point out the error in their ways, but am not sure how to do it politely. Please help!-- Looking For Support

DEAR LOOKING: If you swaddle your newborn tightly, papoose style, her head may already be somewhat supported by the swaddling. Otherwise -- absolutely -- consider this your first opportunity to advocate for your baby.

On the one hand, your child is probably fine. On the other, even experienced parents do forget how to handle the floppy fragility of a newborn.

Any time anyone does anything with your child that you don't like or which you question, speak up. You say, "Whoa. New dad here! Don't forget to support her head, OK?" If there is someone who seems to have consistent trouble passing the child, then ask the person to sit down and place the baby in his/her arms.

DEAR AMY: My marriage was much like "Wondering (not Wandering) Wife". Sex slowed and then finally ended about six years into our marriage.

It's been 13 years now and I never strayed. We are best friends, there's no one else I'd rather spend my life with. I accept him the way he is and in return he does the same for me.

He held my hand every step of the way through my battle with breast cancer. We found out this year he has had colon cancer, which has spread. This was the reason for his inability to function sexually. Our time together is limited. I would gladly live out the rest of my days in a happy (but sexless) marriage with my wonderful husband if I had a choice.-- Lucky Wife

DEAR WIFE: Your gratitude is inspiring. Thank you.

“Where is Tonka?”

Since: Feb 09

Neda, stay with me! Charlie

#2 Oct 23, 2013
1 You little drama queen, eating veggies and pigging out on ice cream. Leave your mom be.

2 Yeah, advocate for your kid and all that, but I find it hilarious that you are spouting what you learned in school. People have been handling, holding,passing babies long before someone got paid to teach idiot parents how to hold a baby.

3 Did you ever ask if he would mind?

“reign in blood”

Since: May 09

Chicago, IL

#3 Oct 23, 2013
Had some lady btch me out once because I was holding her newborn by the ankle.

“What's it to ya?”

Since: Mar 09

Location hidden

#4 Oct 23, 2013
"Whoa. New dad here! Don't forget to support her head, OK?"

Whoa...stupid thing to say. Just don't let people hold the kid.

Since: Aug 08

Location hidden

#5 Oct 23, 2013
LW1: She’s slightly overweight, and she only recently changed her diet. I think you are making a huge leap here. When she is as approaching Crypt Keeper skinny, then you should be concerned.

LW2: If you think your child could be hurt, speak up.

LW3: He’s had colon cancer for 13 years and couldn’t function sexually for this reason? Huh?

Toj

“Where is Everyone?”

Since: Jul 12

Location hidden

#6 Oct 23, 2013
L1: You're 15 years old. You are a drama queen. Do you suspect your mother is anorexic or is your mother overweight? Or perhaps you think anorexic mom is a new thing this week with her. Talk to your mother and go to a nutritionist. You need help.

L2: New parents freaking out.

L3: Moral of the story: If your sex drive changes, to go the doctor and get a full work-up.

“...,to wit”

Since: Jun 09

Location hidden

#7 Oct 23, 2013
L1 15 year old drama queen especially where parent is concerned. Just imagine what the reaction would be if she found out Mom was having....(gasp) sex!

L2 Mostly what Race said except that babies were placed face down for aeons and in the last 20 years good research showed t was better to place them face up on their back in bed. Some things do change. Amy's response is okay. By this time the baby is probably holding its head up on its own anyway.

L3. Slow boil. Assuming Topix lets this go through.Sex does not require an erect penis. There are a whole lot of variations that will satisfy both partners and will express intimacy and affection. If DH has not done any more than hold your hand in 13 years, and you have put up with that, there is something else very wrong with your intimate life.

Colon cancer does not explain 13 years of lack of physical intimacy or even ED.

But you have sweetly deluded yourself this long, so keep it up but it is nothing to brag about.
Kuuipo

Marina, CA

#8 Oct 23, 2013
LW1: If she's overweight, she is not anorexic. However, because you are both new to vegetarianism, you should educate yourselves on how to get enough complete protein in your diet without eating meat.

LW2: This is one of my pet peeves. I absolutely cannot stand it when someone hands me their newborn, simultaneously admonishing me to watch his/her head. This is the reason I usually decline invitations to hold brand-new infants, cute as they are. Also, the bigger issue is that the child doesn't have much of an immune system yet. Don't pass your child to anyone until she's a little older.

LW3: Team Toj.
Blunt Advice

Saddle River, NJ

#9 Oct 23, 2013
1. If she is normal weight or overweight she isn't anorexic. But she better keep an eye on you.

2. In a few months the baby will be holding her head up well on her own. They can see and hold her then.

3. A marriage in which the participants do things other than banging each other?

“The two baby belly, please!”

Since: Sep 09

Evanston IL

#10 Oct 23, 2013
LW1: "She claims she can get by eating much less, and will almost never have dessert or any sort of fried food. I have tried to help her realize this is not healthy, but she is in denial."

WTF are you talking about? Not eating fried food and dessert IS healthy.

I suspect that mom eats a large meal at lunch (and I also suspect she cheats on the vegetarian thing) and then doesn't eat much dinner. Until she starts looking ill, leave her be.

LW2: You are totally overreacting.

LW3: What PE said.
Pippa

Hancock, NY

#11 Oct 23, 2013
1: My 7 year old granddaughter became a vegetarian several months ago. I'm glad my daughter is fairly good about making sure T is getting proper nutrition. My daughter has access through her husband's business to a number of cooks who are very knowledgeable about vegetarian diets and are very willing to share their knowledge with her.

2: I don't think this lw is overreacting. I had to tell my daughter's best high school friend who actually a mom herself to support my granddaughter's head when she held her. The baby was less than a week old and she wasn't supporting her head or neck at all. T's head was flopping all the way back and the woman was too busy talking to notice. My daughter was embarrassed but I didn't care. If someone endangers my child/grandchild, I'm speaking up or taking the child away from her. Hurt feelings don't mean anything compared to a baby's well-being.

“reign in blood”

Since: May 09

Braidwood, IL

#12 Oct 23, 2013
Mimi Seattle wrote:
Just don't let people hold the kid.
Great idea. New parents should make a sign of the cross and hiss at anyone who wants to hold their precious.

“reign in blood”

Since: May 09

Braidwood, IL

#13 Oct 23, 2013
Kuuipo wrote:
Also, the bigger issue is that the child doesn't have much of an immune system yet.
I think you're backwards on that. Their immune system is at its strongest when they're newborns. Otherwise mankind would be extinct. We'd croak over dead shortly after birth because of all the germs we're exposed to.

“reign in blood”

Since: May 09

Braidwood, IL

#14 Oct 23, 2013
Blunt Advice wrote:
1. If she is normal weight or overweight she isn't anorexic.
Yeah, if she's slightly overweight, she isn't anorexic. And the girl is complaining that her mother isn't eating much. Uh, isn't that a GOOD thing? That's usually what you wanna try to do if you want to lose weight.
cheluzal

Plant City, FL

#15 Oct 23, 2013
1: Is it possible for a mom to be anorexic?
Weird....does motherhood provide exemption or something?

2: New dad, involved parent, first child, not being a jerk in letter...I'm willing to cut this guy some slack and not get upset with his valid concern. He'll learn.
Kuuipo

Marina, CA

#16 Oct 23, 2013
edogxxx wrote:
<quoted text>
I think you're backwards on that. Their immune system is at its strongest when they're newborns. Otherwise mankind would be extinct. We'd croak over dead shortly after birth because of all the germs we're exposed to.
According to wellness dot comm, a baby's immune system is not fully developed until s/he is six months old. Until then, the fetus receives immunoglobin antibodies from the mother through the placenta, and breastfed babies receive antibodies through breast milk.
liner

Brooklyn, NY

#17 Oct 23, 2013
Pippa wrote:
1: My 7 year old granddaughter became a vegetarian several months ago. I'm glad my daughter is fairly good about making sure T is getting proper nutrition. My daughter has access through her husband's business to a number of cooks who are very knowledgeable about vegetarian diets and are very willing to share their knowledge with her.
I would question why your daughter would decide her 7 y/o should become a veggie?

“Not a real reg”

Since: Jan 13

Location hidden

#18 Oct 23, 2013
Kuuipo wrote:
<quoted text>
According to wellness dot comm, a baby's immune system is not fully developed until s/he is six months old. Until then, the fetus receives immunoglobin antibodies from the mother through the placenta, and breastfed babies receive antibodies through breast milk.
That doesn't matter. He is the resident nonparent parental expert.

“reign in blood”

Since: May 09

Braidwood, IL

#19 Oct 23, 2013
dahgts wrote:
<quoted text>
That doesn't matter. He is the resident nonparent parental expert.
And with all our vaccinations we wonder why more people seem to develop autism and peanut allergies. And why hypochondriacs are always getting sick.

And while an entire generation of kids who drank from the hose seem to be fine.

http://www.nytimes.com/2009/01/27/health/27br...

“reign in blood”

Since: May 09

Braidwood, IL

#20 Oct 23, 2013
liner wrote:
I would question why your daughter would decide her 7 y/o should become a veggie?
Wondered that myself. Humans are omnivores. Vegetarianism is unnatural. We wonder why the newer generations seem to keep growing dumber. But, thanks to natural selection, the problem should eventually work itself out.

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