Abby 10-27

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“Derecho”

Since: May 09

Braidwood, IL

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#1
Oct 27, 2012
 
DEAR ABBY: I'm a 20-year-old female with five younger brothers and sisters. My 18-year-old sister is my biological sister, while my youngest four siblings are adopted.

At the beginning of the year I discovered my 14-year-old brother has been peeping on my sister. When my parents found out, they sent him to counseling, but my sister is still pretty scarred from it.

Today, when I was in the bathroom, I realized my brother was peeping at me through a hole in the wall. I feel extremely violated, but because he is only 14, I don't know what to do. How can we get him to stop, and how can my sister and I feel comfortable in our house again?-- SCARED OF MY BROTHER THE PEEPER

DEAR SCARED: You and your sister should be able to feel comfortable in your own home. Tell your parents that the counseling your brother received hasn't worked, then show them the hole he has been peeping through. Clearly, whatever consequences there were for his actions the first time were not enough to discourage his behavior. Your sister may need counseling to get beyond it.

The hole should be repaired -- and until it is, tape a small mirror over it so that if he tries to peep again, all he will see is his own eyeball. And tell your sister to do the same.

DEAR ABBY: My boyfriend, "Carl," and I have been together for six months. We're both 29. We live together, work for the same employer and each have one child.

My problem is, we argue constantly. We fight about the kids, money, chores, etc. The smallest thing can turn into a major battle. Do you think it's too early to be fighting so much? I feel obligated to make it work because my son's father and I broke up before he was born, and he has now become attached to Carl and his daughter. Please help!-- TORN IN TORRANCE, CALIF.

DEAR TORN: Yes, it's too early to be fighting this way. It was also way too early to start living together. Couples counseling may help you and Carl resolve your issues -- but only if he is willing to work on them as you are. If that isn't the case, you should move on quickly, before your son forms an even stronger attachment. At this point, it can be done without the expense of a lawyer.

DEAR ABBY: My mom pays me $3 a week to do chores around the house. I take out the garbage, do the dishes, vacuum and set the table every night. I'm frustrated that I'm being paid such a small amount for doing a ton of work.

I told her I'm on "strike" and I'm tired of being her slave. Whenever I mention getting a raise, she claims she'll talk to my dad about it -- but she never does! How do I get paid more?-- SINCERELY, LAUREN

DEAR LAUREN: If your father is the source of the money, then don't depend on your mother to intercede for you. Talk to him yourself. And when you do, be prepared to tell him what a good job you have been doing -- and that you would be willing to take on a few more responsibilities for a little more compensation. Consider it your first lesson in the art of negotiation.

Since: Mar 09

Boynton Beach, FL

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#2
Oct 27, 2012
 
L1: Creepy! I think you and your sister should get your own place.

L2: It's too early for a lot of things. Geez, what a mess.

L3: Are you old enough to get an actual job? If so, get one and tell your mother you quit.

“Derecho”

Since: May 09

Chicago, IL

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#3
Oct 27, 2012
 
1- So close the door and patch the dam holes.

2- So you're acting like a married couple?

3- When you're on your own, you'll be doing chores for free. Get used to it and deal.
pde

Gilberts, IL

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#4
Oct 27, 2012
 

Judged:

1

Lw3: wait until mom goes on strike in response, and you have to make your own meals and do your own laundry.

“What's it to ya?”

Since: Mar 09

Tacoma, WA

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#5
Oct 27, 2012
 
1: Move out.

2: Too early for all that.

3: Shut up and do the work you little shit. Why do you think they HAD kids? Seriously.

I never gave Chris an allowance and I expected that he would do anything I asked. He did. Of course I did give him spending money and bought him pretty much whatever he wanted (not in a spoiled way, in a would make him happy way) eventually. I did a lot of work myself. This is because we all lived in the same house and had responsibilities to keep it functioning. <shrug>

“I Am Mine”

Since: Dec 08

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#6
Oct 27, 2012
 
pde wrote:
Lw3: wait until mom goes on strike in response, and you have to make your own meals and do your own laundry.
And has to buy his own food.

“I Am Mine”

Since: Dec 08

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#7
Oct 27, 2012
 
j_m_w wrote:
L3: Are you old enough to get an actual job? If so, get one and tell your mother you quit.
hah! You think getting a part time job outsside of the house relieves you of responsibilities around the house?
not a ghost

San Antonio, TX

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#8
Oct 27, 2012
 
LW2 either made a typing error--or she and Carl have one child together but fight about other children each has. She seems to deserve him...

“Derecho”

Since: May 09

Chicago, IL

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#9
Oct 27, 2012
 

Judged:

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not a ghost wrote:
LW2 either made a typing error--or she and Carl have one child together but fight about other children each has. She seems to deserve him...
I read it that they each have a child from a previous relationship but don't have a child together. Their problems are normal; money, chores, kids, but they both need to develop healthy ways of dealing with them instead of screaming at each other. They might be able to benefit from couples counseling, but if money is an issue, that probably won't happen.
pde

Gilberts, IL

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#10
Oct 27, 2012
 
Mister Tonka wrote:
<quoted text>
hah! You think getting a part time job outsside of the house relieves you of responsibilities around the house?
Right. This is why chores shouldn't be connected with allowance--chores are about participating in living together in a household. My 6-year-old already has to sort his own laundry and help clean the bathroom that he is the primary user of, because those are things that are directly affected by his use and are thus his responsibility. He didn't have an allowance when he started having these chores, and now that he has an allowance it is tied to other things, not chores. Chores have to be done whether there's an allowance or no allowance.
Anonymous

Plant City, FL

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#11
Oct 27, 2012
 
1: Ick! Move out now. This kid is pathological.

2: Genetic cleansing for both. Moving in with kids after mere months, playing house, and whining about normal things? I pity your children...needy lady who cannot put her kids over her own selfish insecurities, no doubt.

3: NEVER got an allowance. We were expected to do our share and were given money if needed for reasonable things.
LW sounds like an ungrateful teenager...

Since: Mar 09

Boynton Beach, FL

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#12
Oct 27, 2012
 
Mister Tonka wrote:
<quoted text>
hah! You think getting a part time job outsside of the house relieves you of responsibilities around the house?
No. I was trying to be tongue-in-cheek... guess I failed.

Toj

“Equality”

Since: Jul 12

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#13
Oct 28, 2012
 
L1: Tell your parents, do what you have to do to fix the hole, get your stuff together and move out.

L2: You say you're 29 but you're not acting like it.

L3: The negotiation thing is a good lesson. This kid does sound bratty about it though. She's lucky she's getting $3. It should be $0.

“I Am Mine”

Since: Dec 08

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#14
Oct 28, 2012
 
j_m_w wrote:
... guess I failed.
That was going around in gator nation this weekend. Could be something in the water.

:)
Stina

Pinellas Park, FL

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#15
Oct 29, 2012
 
LW3: It's called "contributing to the house you live in". You're being taugh a valuable lesson than any roommates or a husband will appreciate someday. You help take care of where you live and don't expect anything for it but a blissfully clean home and a pleasant life. No one pays me to set my table.

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