“reign in blood”

Since: May 09

Wilmington, IL

#1 Jan 16, 2014
DEAR ABBY: I have been seeing a guy, "Karl," for eight months now, and we have never had sex. After two or three months, I brought up the subject. He said he was stressed because he had just lost his job. He also said there is never any privacy at his place because he has roommates/tenants. I offered to go to my place, but he said that with my son there, it's the same issue.

Karl says he's very attracted to me, but doesn't want our "time" together to be ruined by his current money problems. I told him I understood and I have waited. I also explained that it makes me feel insecure and unwanted.

He now has a job, but we still haven't had sex. He has, in the interim, told me he loves me and wants to marry me. I constantly worry that there's someone else and wonder what's wrong with me. I love Karl, too, but I don't know what to do. Please help.-- LOVE, BUT NO SEX IN NEW JERSEY

DEAR LOVE, BUT: Is there any intimacy at all in your relationship with Karl? Is he affectionate? Is there any physical response when he holds and kisses you? If the answer is no, your boyfriend may have a physical or emotional problem, be asexual or gay.

Before agreeing to marry him, I recommend you schedule some time alone together by spending a few romantic weekends at a hotel or motel. It may give you a better idea of what your future would be like if you two decide to tie the knot.

DEAR ABBY: I am a 30-year-old gay man who works in an office with 20 women. In the five years I have worked here, many of my co-workers have either gotten married or had children.

Our office has a tradition of throwing showers for the lucky ladies, and I am always asked to contribute money toward food for the party or an extravagant gift.

While I'm happy to donate to a charity or help a friend in need, I wonder if a wedding or a baby shower would be given for me? Am I selfish for feeling hesitant to donate money or gifts when it's likely the favor will never be returned?-- MINORITY MALE IN TEXAS

DEAR MINORITY: I don't think you are selfish for feeling the way you do. In fact, it's understandable. However, in the case of a wedding or baby shower, people give gifts as a way of offering congratulations and good wishes. And I would hope that, even if same-sex marriage isn't recognized by the state of Texas, your co-workers would do something to honor you if you had a spiritual ceremony, which some religious denominations offer.

DEAR ABBY: I am turning 60 and naturally looking a little "worn." My man friend keeps telling me I need a facelift and to lose 10 pounds, so I'm starting to save my money. Something tells me he wants a "hot chick" and thinks he'll have one once I get these procedures done. It's expensive. What do you think?-- LOOSE-FACED LOUISIANAN

DEAR LOUISIANAN: It's not only expensive; as with any other major surgery, there is some risk involved. If you had said you wanted cosmetic surgery because you thought you needed it, I would say to go ahead. However, if it's only because your man friend is pushing you, then he should save his money and offer to foot the bill.

P.S. He must be an optimist because there is no guarantee that with 10 pounds off and a new face you wouldn't start looking for a younger man. Some women do.

“reign in blood”

Since: May 09

Wilmington, IL

#2 Jan 16, 2014
1- He's asexual or impotent

2- Texas doesn't allow gay marriage. And two gay men can't make a baby. You're whining about a problem that will never be an issue.

3- Grow old gracefully. There's nothing freakier than a 60 yr old woman trying to look 20

“A Programmer is not in IT!”

Since: Feb 09

Neda, stay with me!

#3 Jan 16, 2014
1 Marriage problems often manifest themselves in the bedroom. It looks like your bedroom problems a harbinger to your marriage. If he wont even try to please you, that is a deal breaker.
'
2 What a drama queer, er,, queen! I intend on not having any more kids or getting married, so should I close my wallet to those who still are? Kick in the $20 and maybe they will paint your nails or something.

3 I agree, it the guy wants you to do it, he should pony up the money.
Blunt Advice

Suffern, NY

#4 Jan 16, 2014
1. If you want to have kids, this isn't the man for you. Impotent.
2. How friendly are you with them? If you are friendly (what women wouldn't love a gay friend to death?) Then when you get married they will definitely throw a shower. Same if you adopt a child. However if you are whiney and hard to get al3.ong with then no.3.
3. What a jerk. If you get the facelift dump him for a younger guy. If you like yourself the way you are then dump him for someone who will like you for yourself. Either way DUMP the jerk.

Since: Aug 08

Location hidden

#5 Jan 16, 2014
LW1: Thatís crAzy. You two are not even on the same planet when it comes to sexual compatibility. Unless you want (and it sounds like you donít) a non-existent sex life or at best a lousy one with an unenthusiastic partner who you have to guilt trip into having sex with you, cut bait.

I also wonder why a woman would date a guy who is so needy. Whaaaa, I lost my job. I get it Ö itís stressful, but to deny your partner sex because big baby lost his job is just whiny and childish. The LW must be kind of messed up too, to settle for this.

LW2: How do you know itís unlikely that they would extend you a shower. You are also definitely gay if you actually want a shower. No praying that away.

LW3: Your ďman friendĒ is a doosh. Why do you settle for someone who doesnít like you as you are and who actively breaks you down and he is so blunt about it? He could at least be diplomatic and gentle about it.
boundary painter

San Antonio, TX

#6 Jan 16, 2014
It's rude of LW2 to give the Lone Star State a bad name by assuming that the women who work with him wouldn't be happy to celebrate what's important to him. If they don't, it's because he probably tells them to leave him alone and they leave him alone.

And LW3 is giving Louisiana a bad name by letting this man in her life
get to her by criticizing her looks.
Kuuipo

Monterey, CA

#8 Jan 16, 2014
Wow. My original post got auto-flagged by the moderator.

Toj

“Where is Everyone?”

Since: Jul 12

Location hidden

#9 Jan 16, 2014
L1: The guy has issues and I don't think you'll ever have sex with him. How many batteries are you going to run through before you realize this?

L2: Wasn't there a letter like this a month or so ago?

L3: Tell him you want to lose 150 pounds and dump him!

“A Programmer is not in IT!”

Since: Feb 09

Neda, stay with me!

#10 Jan 16, 2014
post #7? I cant see it.
You were very bad!
Kuuipo wrote:
Wow. My original post got auto-flagged by the moderator.
Kuuipo

Monterey, CA

#11 Jan 16, 2014
RACE wrote:
post #7? I cant see it.
You were very bad!
<quoted text>
Apparently!

I changed the three-letter word beginning with an s and ending with an x to six and it posted fine. I guess only Sublime is allowed to type that word!

Since: Aug 08

Location hidden

#12 Jan 16, 2014
Kuuipo wrote:
<quoted text>
Apparently!
I changed the three-letter word beginning with an s and ending with an x to six and it posted fine. I guess only Sublime is allowed to type that word!
Sax?:p

“...,to wit”

Since: Jun 09

Location hidden

#13 Jan 16, 2014
Kuuipo wrote:
<quoted text>
Apparently!
I changed the three-letter word beginning with an s and ending with an x to six and it posted fine. I guess only Sublime is allowed to type that word!
You can see it Even edited, we can't.

They did that to me the other night when I was trying to post an old old elephant joke. Go figure.
Julie

Chicago, IL

#14 Jan 16, 2014
LW1: He's *never* going to have sex with you. RUN.
LW3: You don't need to "lose 10 pounds." You need to lose your a-hole "man friend."

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