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“reign in blood”

Since: May 09

Braidwood, IL

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#1
Dec 12, 2012
 
DEAR AMY: My boyfriend lives an hour away. He's made several jokes about moving somewhere together, but I'm worried that these jokes are actually serious.

He's a great man. He's funny, chivalrous and charming, but he's not financially stable. I've spoken to him about his spending habits several times. He's slowly understanding the difference between "needs" and "wants."

I've tried to dodge the subject about moving in together because I'm not comfortable cosigning anything if he is unable to keep up with his side of the expenses. I have never been in debt, and my credit is great. I pay all my bills on time.

My friends tell me life is all about risk and that I should live a little. The fear of going into debt or tapping into my savings scares me, but I also don't want to lose him. What should I do?-- Running Out of Time

DEAR RUNNING: Your friends are right in this respect: You should embrace the risks life throws your way, but in this scenario you should define risk as being brave enough to have a series of conversations with your boyfriend about finances and then making choices about what you are willing to do.

You should definitely "live a little." In fact, you should live a lot. But given your prudent financial temperament (good for you), you and this guy seem like a mismatch in an important area.

You should not live with someone who isn't financially stable. That's why dating is so much fun (even with a fiscal mismatch). Unless you marry or live with this guy, you get the laughs without the financial hangover.

DEAR AMY: I am a high school student, and I am in my first romantic relationship. It is going pretty well, except for balancing time between my boyfriend and my friends.

My guy and I have one class together, and we meet during one of our passing times between classes. My friends happen to be in this class, and stick with me in the hallway. They all stand in one group while he is in another so I am forced to choose between them.

I feel guilty either way. If I am with him, they get angry with me, so I usually hang with them because they are sensitive. I get to see them a lot, but they still get annoyed when I talk to him.

At the same time, I want to spend more time with him. We are both involved in extracurriculars and rarely get to see each other on weekends.

I know my friends are hurting because they are not in relationships. I try to stay loyal to them, but they are impossible to please. How can I handle this without their getting mad at me?-- Wounded

DEAR WOUNDED: If your friends have serious concerns about your boyfriend, then listen, but understand that balancing between people will be an issue in varying degrees for the rest of your life. You shouldn't ditch your friends for your boyfriend, but they shouldn't control you through guilt.

The answer is to do what you want to do. Your friends aren't giving you the respect you are giving them. A true friend will not box you into a corner.(A good boyfriend doesn't do that, either.)

The next time you're changing classes, take your guy by the hand (or the sleeve), and bring him over to your friend-gaggle. After some initial awkwardness, all the people in your life will find their own way to get along. And if they don't, you'll find out who your true friends are.

DEAR AMY: "Animal Lover in Maryland" was concerned about two guinea pigs her friend was leaving on a cold porch. I had a friend who was planning to get a dog for his sons, and when I asked where the dog would sleep, he said, "In the backyard. I'll make him a doghouse."

Amy, we live in Denver, where it can get extremely cold for extended periods. I convinced him not to get a dog.-- Dog Lover

DEAR DL: You did a good deed by speaking up!

“reign in blood”

Since: May 09

Braidwood, IL

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#2
Dec 12, 2012
 

Judged:

1

1

1

1- Trust me, you do NOT want someone who isn't financially stable to move in with you!

2- Like, OMG, Becky!

3- Dogs have fur. They've been thriving outdoors for tens of thousands of years. They'll be fine.

Since: Jan 10

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#3
Dec 12, 2012
 

Judged:

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L1: Do NOT move in with him.

L2: This issue is preparing you for marriage.

L3: No, they won't be fine. Even if you build a dog house, it has to be big enough to hold the dog but small enough to keep his body heat in. Local statutes may even require that it is installed above the ground a certain amount. Minnesota has laws about this because so many hunters keep their hunting dogs outside.

I personally am 100% opposed to this and believe that dogs are family members and belong inthe house.

“A Programmer is not in IT!”

Since: Feb 09

Neda, stay with me!

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#4
Dec 12, 2012
 

Judged:

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1 Your friends are morons, do not move in with him.

2 Your friends are morons, do not let them dictate your love life.

3 Your friend is a moron, family pets need to be with the family, it's their pact. Work animals need to be with their job (sheep etc.)

“Nakedness reveals itself”

Since: Oct 07

Clearwater, Fl

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#5
Dec 12, 2012
 

Judged:

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LW1: If you're not ready to commit then you're not ready to commit. Moving in together is a big step. And finances is one of the main reasons why a lot relationships don't work out. I would certainly get to know him better and talk about your concerns before moving in together.

LW2: Get with your boyfriend and ask him to spend time with you and your friends and then tell your friends you'll also be spending sometime with him and his friends and sometimes just the two of you. And that's that, if they don't like it, then they don't like it. They'll get over it. It'd be great if both groups could join and then everyone could hang and be friends, then maybe they could find boyfriends too :p

LW3- Bravo, making the world a better place.

Hi everyone!! Hope everyone is well!

Since: Mar 09

United States

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#6
Dec 12, 2012
 
Hi Flawless! How's it going?

“A Programmer is not in IT!”

Since: Feb 09

Neda, stay with me!

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#7
Dec 12, 2012
 
Hey Flawless! Howyadoin?

“The two baby belly, please!”

Since: Sep 09

Evanston IL

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#8
Dec 12, 2012
 
LW1: I don't think that you should move in together, but if you do, here's my advice: get a place that you can affort to pay for all on your own. That way, if he flakes out, you can just kick him out and not have to worry about how to pay the bills.

LW2: I stopped caring at high school.

Actually, I thought it read "I'm high"; now *that* might have been a letter worth caring about.

LW3: WTF does this have to do with the guinea pigs? They were already purchased, ya moron!

Since: Mar 09

United States

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#9
Dec 12, 2012
 
squishymama wrote:
LW2: I stopped caring at high school.
Actually, I thought it read "I'm high"; now *that* might have been a letter worth caring about.
HA! I agree.

“Nakedness reveals itself”

Since: Oct 07

Clearwater, Fl

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#10
Dec 12, 2012
 
Hi RACE and JMW!! I'm doing great! Miss you guys! How have you been?

“Licensed to Ill”

Since: Aug 08

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#11
Dec 12, 2012
 
LW1: Unless you are happy with the status quo, why are you even dating him if you don't want to move forward?

LW2: I just couldn't bring myself to read it.

<waves to flawless>

LW3: It wouldn't be my choice, but you can get heating pads and what not. We always kept cats outside growing up. If cats can do it, I dare you to find any dog who doesn't think he/she could do it.

The thing I find most troublesome is that dogs are social animals and keeping it alone outside would be kind of lonely. If you are going to do that, make sure you get more than one, and make sure they have better shelter than just a tiny dog house with no warmth.

“A Programmer is not in IT!”

Since: Feb 09

Neda, stay with me!

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#12
Dec 12, 2012
 
HA!!!!
squishymama wrote:
LW3: WTF does this have to do with the guinea pigs? They were already purchased, ya moron!

“A Programmer is not in IT!”

Since: Feb 09

Neda, stay with me!

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#13
Dec 12, 2012
 
I will be doing better when my vacation starts, but for now, things are not so bad!
Flawless wrote:
Hi RACE and JMW!! I'm doing great! Miss you guys! How have you been?

Since: Dec 07

DuPage County

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#14
Dec 12, 2012
 
1 You already know he's got a cloud hanging over him. Move on.

2 High school stuff...haven't cared in 30 years.

3 Dog and pet stuff....yawn.

Since: Jan 10

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#15
Dec 12, 2012
 
Saluki, you went to SIU? I have an old friend (Former) who went there. We called it "Car-BAHN-dah-lay."

HIs frat initiation was he had to trip on acid then go see Top Gun. HE and my boyfriend got kicked out of the theatre for laughing hysterically when Moose died.

“Nakedness reveals itself”

Since: Oct 07

Clearwater, Fl

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#16
Dec 12, 2012
 
RACE wrote:
I will be doing better when my vacation starts, but for now, things are not so bad!
<quoted text>
I hear ya! Rash and I mentioned we'll have to take a trip to Fort Lauderdale soon.:)

Waves back to Sublime :-)

Since: Mar 09

United States

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#17
Dec 12, 2012
 
RedheadwGlasses wrote:
Saluki, you went to SIU? I have an old friend (Former) who went there. We called it "Car-BAHN-dah-lay."
HIs frat initiation was he had to trip on acid then go see Top Gun. HE and my boyfriend got kicked out of the theatre for laughing hysterically when Moose died.
You mean Goose?
;)

Since: Dec 07

DuPage County

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#18
Dec 12, 2012
 
RedheadwGlasses wrote:
Saluki, you went to SIU? I have an old friend (Former) who went there. We called it "Car-BAHN-dah-lay."
HIs frat initiation was he had to trip on acid then go see Top Gun. HE and my boyfriend got kicked out of the theatre for laughing hysterically when Moose died.
Sigh...makes me miss The 'Dale every time I hear a story like that.
For the record, I got destroyed and went to see Platoon. 2 Malaysians sat behind me, and I was ejected for asking one of them, "didn't we meet in Da Nang?" He was horrified.

Since: Dec 07

DuPage County

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#19
Dec 12, 2012
 
RedheadwGlasses wrote:
Saluki, you went to SIU? I have an old friend (Former) who went there. We called it "Car-BAHN-dah-lay."
HIs frat initiation was he had to trip on acid then go see Top Gun. HE and my boyfriend got kicked out of the theatre for laughing hysterically when Moose died.
Just for the record: there are 2 kinds of people in Illinois, those of us who went to SIU, and those whose parents were too scared to let them go there.

Since: Jan 10

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#20
Dec 12, 2012
 
j_m_w wrote:
<quoted text>
You mean Goose?
;)
Yeah, that!:)

Those were the days when Meg Ryan was adorable.

Today:

http://scrapetv.com/News/News%20Pages/Enterta...

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