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“reign in blood”

Since: May 09

Braidwood, IL

#1 May 15, 2014
DEAR ABBY: My wife and I speak English as our native language. I also speak other languages fluently, although my wife does not.

When we travel to a country where I speak the language, she insists I speak only English. She says everybody in the world now speaks English and accuses me of showing off when I converse with a local in his or her language. She says it makes her uncomfortable.

I realize many people in other countries speak some -- or even a lot of -- English, but many do not. What do you think?-- SPEECHLESS IN ATLANTA

DEAR SPEECHLESS: Much as your wife might wish it, not everybody in the world speaks English. That you are able to speak to individuals in their native language is a tremendous asset when you travel. It makes for a warmer welcome and a fuller experience wherever you go, and I hope you will continue to use the skill you have worked to acquire.

However, to carry on long, involved conversations while your wife just stands there is rude, and if you find out that the person with whom you are talking also speaks English, you should make an effort to see that she is included.

DEAR ABBY: I was born with a very weak heart. At the age of 23, I went into heart failure and needed surgery. It has been two years since my open heart procedure, and it has changed my life for the best.

As a young, semi-attractive male, I feel insecure about my scar. I went to the beach with friends, and so many people looked at my scar I got uncomfortable and put my shirt back on for the rest of the time. I haven't gone back to the beach since. And in situations where guys go shirtless, I wear mine even over the protests of my friends.

I can't get over the scar. I feel like I'm disfigured. Any advice on how I can deal with this huge change?-- SELF-CONSCIOUS IN GEORGIA

DEAR SELF-CONSCIOUS: Because you're sensitive about the scar, perhaps you should talk to a plastic surgeon about your options in having it reduced. However, in my opinion, you are not "disfigured" -- you are ALIVE. You fought for your life and won.

Few people get through life without some "battle scars." Since you can't change the fact that it's there, consider changing the way you think about it. In a way, it's your medal of honor. Scars have been known to fade with time, and so does self-consciousness.

DEAR ABBY: My grandson will be getting married in Chicago. What's the appropriate dress code regarding wearing pantyhose these days? It seems everyone you see in a dress is bare-legged. I want to be comfortable, but also appropriately dressed.-- BEST-DRESSED GRANDMA

DEAR GRANDMA: It depends upon how formal the wedding will be and whether it will be held indoors or outside. If it's outside and informal, and the weather is hot and humid, you could go bare-legged. However, if it's indoors and the attire is dressy -- and you want to maintain your reputation as "best-dressed granny" -- hold up your "end" and wear pantyhose

“reign in blood”

Since: May 09

United States

#2 May 15, 2014
1- I'm with the lw, the husband is showing off and it's incredibly rude to carry on a conversion with someone while the wife just stands there. I agree with Abby

2- yep, not that into you

3- oh for the love of... Dear Abby, should I wear slacks or jeans today?

“Where is Tonka?”

Since: Feb 09

Neda, stay with me! Charlie

#3 May 15, 2014
1 LW's wife gives America a bad name.

2 Get laid, thats what you really need.

“...,to wit”

Since: Jun 09

Location hidden

#4 May 15, 2014
1.It is rude to converse with someone in a language you know that someone else in the group does not understand. That holds true no matter where you are. If husband wanted to practice his Portuguese, let him go to a bar while his wife takes a nap.

2. I always heard that scars were especially sensitive to sunburn anyway.

Go funky: get it tattooed so it looks like a zipper

3. I am of LW's vintage. I am shaking my head at the image of a 60+ year old woman in a dress suitable for a wedding but going barelegged. Old legs need stockings . They don't look like young legs.

“On Deck”

Since: Aug 08

French Polynesia

#5 May 15, 2014
L1. Proverb: When in Rome, do as the Romans do.

“I Am Mine”

Since: Dec 08

Location hidden

#6 May 15, 2014
edogxxx wrote:
1- I'm with the lw, the husband is showing off
What's the point of learning another language if you're going to be accused of shieing off when you use it? If you encountered some Spanish tourists in Chicago, would you be more likely to be helpful if they were speaking to you in Spanish and using hand gestures to try to communicate or if they spoke to you in English?
Cass

Claremont, CA

#7 May 15, 2014
LW1 - Why did you marry such a narrow-minded woman?

LW2 - That scar can actually make you very sexy. A lot of women would fall for a man with a heart-breaking story.

LW3 - Your grandson should not wear pantyhose. Neither should he be bare-legged during his wedding. The dress code may be sexist, but grooms are still expected to wear trousers to their weddings (unless they wear kilts, in which case they should be bare-legged).

“reign in blood”

Since: May 09

United States

#8 May 15, 2014
edogxxx wrote:
2- yep, not that into you
Oops, that should be for Amy

2- Get over yourself. No one cares about your dam scar. People are so narcissistic anymore

“reign in blood”

Since: May 09

United States

#9 May 15, 2014
Mister Tonka wrote:
<quoted text>What's the point of learning another language if you're going to be accused of shieing off when you use it? If you encountered some Spanish tourists in Chicago, would you be more likely to be helpful if they were speaking to you in Spanish and using hand gestures to try to communicate or if they spoke to you in English?
It's rude to speak in a foreign language in the presence of someone who does not. If the other people can speak English, they should

Since: Mar 09

Hollywood, FL

#10 May 15, 2014
L1: We need more details. If the husband is carrying on long conversations just for the sake of conversation, that's rude. If he's asking for directions or ordering food or something, that's helpful. Either the wife is being overly sensitive or is jealous, or the husband is a rude jerk. But we don't know enough to know which.

L2: Speaking from no experience whatsoever, could some of this be in the LW's head? Probably people aren't staring as much as he thinks they are. I say rock that scar and live your life to the fullest.

L3: What Abby said, and it also depends on what your legs look like. I was at a wedding last weekend at which one of the not-young female guests was wearing a knee-length skirt and no pantyhose, but her legs were kind of gross looking.

Since: Dec 07

DuPage County

#11 May 15, 2014
1. Your wife is a douche. When in Rome, attempt to speak the language of the land and translate to non-speakers as you see fit.

2. Dude, that's a majorly over-sensitive body image you have. If mastectomy survivors can go topless in France, you can go shirtless. Get a tat to cover it, or man up and be an adult if someone is rude enough to ask you about your scar.

3. They actually still sell pantyhose?

“...,to wit”

Since: Jun 09

Location hidden

#12 May 15, 2014
edogxxx wrote:
2- yep, not that into you
Well , the surgeon was.

You're okay Dog.

“...,to wit”

Since: Jun 09

Location hidden

#13 May 15, 2014
Saluki Rod wrote:
1. Your wife is a douche. When in Rome, attempt to speak the language of the land and translate to non-speakers as you see fit.
2. Dude, that's a majorly over-sensitive body image you have. If mastectomy survivors can go topless in France, you can go shirtless. Get a tat to cover it, or man up and be an adult if someone is rude enough to ask you about your scar.
3. They actually still sell pantyhose?
Well look who crawled out!
Hi stranger. How goes it?

(Yes they still sell pantyhose. What else would we use for lint traps on the washing machine ?)

“I Am Mine”

Since: Dec 08

Location hidden

#14 May 15, 2014
j_m_w wrote:
L1: We need more details. If the husband is carrying on long conversations just for the sake of conversation, that's rude. If he's asking for directions or ordering food or something, that's helpful. Either the wife is being overly sensitive or is jealous, or the husband is a rude jerk. But we don't know enough to know which.
L2: Speaking from no experience whatsoever, could some of this be in the LW's head? Probably people aren't staring as much as he thinks they are. I say rock that scar and live your life to the fullest.
L3: What Abby said, and it also depends on what your legs look like. I was at a wedding last weekend at which one of the not-young female guests was wearing a knee-length skirt and no pantyhose, but her legs were kind of gross looking.
lw1. Exactly. When I think if the 'conversations' I have with locals while on vacation, it consists of ordering food, asking directions, etc. With the assumption that this is when he's using his skills, to me, it would be more rude to make everyone else speak english.

If, on the other hand they made some new bilingual friends, and they are regulatly goung on and on and leaving her out, that woukd be rude. I just don't see that as likely. Not based on my travel experiences. Her assertion that'everyone speaks english' smacks of the stereotypical 'dumb american'

“The two baby belly, please!”

Since: Sep 09

Evanston IL

#15 May 15, 2014
LW1: The attitude of your wife is why many non-americans think americans are boorish. Not everyone speaks english and in their own non-english speaking country, they shouldn't have to.

That being said, if you are carrying on a long conversation with the couple seated next to you at dinner and leaving your wife out of it completely, then you are being the azz.

LW2: You need to take your shirt off where appropriate and create a set of funny/snarky responses to the stares. Which I bet are not as many as you think there are, btw.

LW3: F*ck pantyhose.
boundary apinter

Waco, TX

#16 May 15, 2014
Neither LW1 nor LW2 give Georgia a bad name--but LW1's wife is reinforcing the stereotype of the "ugly American". Wouldn't blame him
if he left her in Atlanta rather thasn bringing her along when he goes out of the US.

“reign in blood”

Since: May 09

United States

#17 May 15, 2014
PEllen wrote:
<quoted text>
Well , the surgeon was.
Rimshot!

“reign in blood”

Since: May 09

United States

#18 May 15, 2014
Mister Tonka wrote:
<quoted text>lw1. Exactly. When I think if the 'conversations' I have with locals while on vacation, it consists of ordering food, asking directions, etc. With the assumption that this is when he's using his skills, to me, it would be more rude to make everyone else speak english.
If, on the other hand they made some new bilingual friends, and they are regulatly goung on and on and leaving her out, that woukd be rude. I just don't see that as likely. Not based on my travel experiences. Her assertion that'everyone speaks english' smacks of the stereotypical 'dumb american'
The fact she gets upset tells me it's more than just asking for directions or ordering drinks. I'm taking this letter at face value and think that yes, he's carrying on conversations with people while she's left standing there

“Where is Tonka?”

Since: Feb 09

Neda, stay with me! Charlie

#19 May 15, 2014
I disagree, but even if it were true, the burden is still upon her to learn the local language, not for every other country to learn English.
edogxxx wrote:
<quoted text>
The fact she gets upset tells me it's more than just asking for directions or ordering drinks. I'm taking this letter at face value and think that yes, he's carrying on conversations with people while she's left standing there

Since: Jun 09

Saint Petersburg, FL

#20 May 15, 2014
LW3: I am in my early 40s and I still wear pantyhose almost everytime I am wearing a skirt or dress. And I live in Florida. It looks more "finished" and gives extra control. And I am known for having pretty nice legs, so I am not hiding anything!

There is a gal I work with that is a few years younger than me. She is on the heavier side and could probably use some hosiery for the "control", so I tell her that's why I wear them (she always asks me why in the world I wear them). She doesn't get the hint. Or Spanx.

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