“reign in blood”

Since: May 09

Braidwood, IL

#1 Jul 31, 2014
DEAR ABBY: I'm a 21-year-old man who has been a successful swimmer in high school and now in college. Over the past few months, I have become obsessed with developing six-pack abs. I have never had much success with women, and I thought that looking like a movie star might finally get me noticed and make me feel good about myself.

As a result, I have become obsessive about my diet. I have dropped 10 pounds, mostly muscle, and my performance in the pool has suffered. If I don't see perfect definition between every ab and don't exercise for at least 2 1/2 hours a day, I feel fat and guilty whenever I eat. I have awakened in the middle of the night worrying about what I'll eat the next day. I'm concerned for the future when my metabolism will inevitably slow down.

I have begun to think that death is a better scenario than being fat, or feeling that way. I want to be able to enjoy eating again and get my life back. I don't want to tell my parents or friends for fear of seeming weak-minded. Where can I go for help?-- FEELING LOST IN NEW MEXICO

DEAR FEELING LOST: Physical perfection is no guarantee that you'll find love. Liking yourself and accepting yourself for who you are is what attracts others.

Although "looking like a movie star" can be an asset -- depending upon who the movie star is -- unless you are secure about who you are and what you have to offer, you can't maintain a healthy relationship.(If you don't believe me, look at the tabloids and start counting how many movie star romances resemble a game of musical chairs.)

If you truly think that death might be preferable to being fat, then you are in trouble. You may have a serious eating disorder, one that could shorten your life. Most people who have an eating disorder need professional help to overcome it, so the place to go is to your student health center. Ask to speak with a mental health counselor about what you're doing and how you're feeling. It is important that you understand what has caused this so you can be successfully treated.

DEAR ABBY: My parents' 25th wedding anniversary is coming up. I thought it would be nice to have a dinner with the 12 to 14 people who were in their wedding party.

If I had it at a nice restaurant, would it be rude to ask them to pay their own way for dinner? I am only 21 and just graduated from college, so I can't manage it on my own. Any advice?-- SON OF "SILVER" PARENTS IN MASSACHUSETTS

DEAR SON: I think the sentiment is sweet, but if you are going to have this kind of an anniversary party for your parents, you should wait until you can afford to host it. For this one, invite your parents out for dinner, and give them the kind of party you're planning on their 30th.

“...,to wit”

Since: Jun 09

Location hidden

#2 Jul 31, 2014
1 Where are his coaches and trainers in all this? The serious athletes I know seem to have a swarm of those type of people around them.

I agree this is an eating disorder.

2. Make the nice dinner party at your apartment or parents house. You buy the food, do the cooking and clean up

“Where is Tonka?”

Since: Feb 09

Neda, stay with me! Charlie

#3 Jul 31, 2014
1 Get a hooker, You need to get laid.

2 Your parents raised an idiot.
Cass

Rancho Cucamonga, CA

#4 Jul 31, 2014
LW1 - How can a successful athlete NOT have six-pack abs? They may not be body-builder-defined abs, but somebody who is swimming competitively in college should have a pretty darn good physique.

Dude, you are developing anorexia. You need to talk to your coach AND your school's psych services.

LW2 - Yes, it would be extremely rude. What you can do, however, is contact the close family members who are likely to want to do something nice for your parents 25th anniversary and ask them for ideas on how to co-organize a nice party.
Kuuipo

Marina, CA

#5 Jul 31, 2014
LW1: Please seek help for your eating disorder now. You need to gain some weight and stop obsessing. As far as attracting women goes, few of us care about six-pack abs. Confidence, charm, and a good sense of humor will get you much farther. Learn how to give sincere compliments and treat every woman like she is someone very special.

LW2: Team Cass. Co-organizing is the way to go! With any luck, one of your parent's friends will volunteer to have the party at their house and it can be a potluck. Congrats to your parents!

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