“reign in blood”

Since: May 09

Braidwood, IL

#1 Mar 14, 2014
DEAR ABBY: My sister has children younger than mine, but the kids all play together frequently. She recently caught them involved in a game of "truth or dare" and a couple of the kids had no clothes on.

While I was surprised to hear it and have spoken to my children about it, it seems to me to be one of those games that kids play. My sister insists it's about dominance and sex and refuses to let my kids play with hers any longer.

I'm heartbroken over her reaction and don't know how to respond. We barely speak anymore. What do you think?-- JUST A GAME? IN IOWA

DEAR JUST A GAME: Whether what happened was because of natural curiosity or about "dominance" would depend on the ages of the children involved. Not allowing the children to play together again seems like an overreaction, but a serious discussion about boundaries should certainly have taken place after the incident.

DEAR ABBY: I started dating my childhood sweetheart when we were in high school. I'm now in college.

My dreams and goals have always been to move from our small town to a big city in another state. The problem is my boyfriend, "Clay," never wants to leave here. He isn't even interested in travel, which is something I would love to do.

I have stayed in our hometown for him. Everyone in my family thinks he's holding me back and isn't being fair. He may not be perfect, but he does make me happy.

I now have an opportunity to move, but Clay refuses to go. Should I go anyway, regardless of what it does to our relationship? Do I take the risk of being happy in a new city by myself, or stay where I know what the ending will be?-- STUCK IN SMALLTOWN, U.S.A.

DEAR STUCK: All of life is a risk. Please listen to your family. I think you know in your heart that you need to experience a little independence. If you don't take advantage of the opportunity you have been given, you will indeed be "Stuck in Smalltown, U.S.A." Forever.

DEAR ABBY: My wife and I have been married for 10 years. She is a Realtor and I'm a maintenance worker. I work eight hours a day, five days a week and sometimes on weekends and overtime when needed.

My wife thinks that when I'm off on weekends I should be working around the house. I have tried telling her that those are my days off to do what I prefer or just relax. I do maintenance work all week, and then she expects me to do it on weekends, too? I don't mind it occasionally, but with her it's every weekend. I feel like getting a divorce because of her never-ending demands.

I also play in a band with my friends on Sunday evenings. It's only once a week, but she gives me flak about that, too. I'm at work 40 hours a week and with her every evening except Sunday. I don't fish, play golf, hang out at bars, chase women or have any other hobbies. How can I get her to understand?-- WANTS TO RELAX

DEAR WANTS: Have you told your wife you feel like divorcing her because of her never-ending demands? It might be a way to get her attention.

Tell her that you're willing to fix things around the house one or two days a month, but if her punch list requires more than that, she should hire someone.

And as to your playing in the band -- invite her to come and listen if she wants, but make it plain that you don't intend to stop.

“reign in blood”

Since: May 09

Chicago, IL

#2 Mar 14, 2014
1- It would help to know how old these kids are. A little fact I think you left out intentionally

2- Spread your wings, little seagull, spread your wings and fly

3- Teach your wife to use a dam wrench

“Where is Tonka?”

Since: Feb 09

Neda, stay with me! Charlie

#3 Mar 14, 2014
1 By a couple, I am guessing you mean her's. You cant expect a momma bear to not defend her cubs. I say you and yours owe her an apology.

2 Clay is offering structure, and stability. The world is a mean and nasty place. Some rubes like yourself get caught up in the ugly underbelly of the beast and never make it out. You're not as smart and street savvy as you think, and you will get played like a piano in a bar or worse.
Stay with clay and make little clay's.

3 Sounds to me that your wife wants your home to be like those she models. Tell her to sell more, so you can buy a better house that is not falling apart.

Oh, your marriage is over anyway, so please wear protection and save yourself a ton of cash.

Plant City, FL

#4 Mar 14, 2014
1: Ages would help. Just her kids naked and yours almost teens? Either she is an overreactor or your kids need therapy.

3: IDK, I need her side. Maybe the louse refuses to lift any finger at home on HIS days. Too bad. Both parties have to pitch in and do things and there are certain things a man might be better at around the house.
Maybe she's a nag or maybe she's just been trying to get a pipe fixed for 7 years!


“Where is Everyone?”

Since: Jul 12

Location hidden

#5 Mar 14, 2014
L1: As most have mentioned, not enough detail. It seem that you two weren't all that close to begin with if you can't talk this out.(Maybe some not so good family history here.) If you want to have a relationship with her, you're going to have to keep inviting them. If they don't come, just keep inviting and leave the lines of communication open. Also, learn to leave room to have differing opinions and still accept that person. She might feel guilty a bit. If it was at her house she should have had some control and responsibility over supervising them.

L2: You're young. Go see the world. If Clay really loves you and loves his little town that much, he'll be there when you get back. Doesn't sound like he's going anywhere.

L3: Most people who work full time work that schedule. Quit whining. Yes, everyone wants downtime but you need to negotiate who has responsibility over what in your house. If you don't want to do it, remember it's your overtime that will probably pay for the service person who comes to fix it while you're relaxing.

“I looked, and behold,”

Since: Aug 08

Location hidden

#6 Mar 14, 2014
LW1: How much older are your kids? If your kids are older than say 1st grade, they should be out of the clueless stage when it comes to thinking it is appropriate to get nekkid with other kids. While I think your sister is making a bigger issue about it, perhaps that may be more due to your passive attitude about it. Did you use it as a teaching moment or just pass it off as no big deal?

LW2: Go. The relationship is too one-sided.

LW3: Divorce? Ummm, how about you just learn to say no … even to your wife. However, even if you work during the week, you still need to do some stuff on the weekend around the house. It just shouldn’t be all weekend and it’s perfectly normal to want to spend a lot of time on the weekend doing what you want, not just what your wife wants.

“The two baby belly, please!”

Since: Sep 09

Evanston IL

#7 Mar 14, 2014
LW1: Ack! I agree with edog: she left the ages out on purpose. But I also think the sister is overreacting. Apologies all around.

LW2: GO! GO! GO!

LW3: You sound like a lazy bum around the house and your wife sounds like a total nag. I doubt that either of those descriptions is reality.

“reign in blood”

Since: May 09

Chicago, IL

#8 Mar 14, 2014
Sublime1 wrote:
LW1: How much older are your kids? If your kids are older than say 1st grade, they should be out of the clueless stage when it comes to thinking it is appropriate to get nekkid with other kids. While I think your sister is making a bigger issue about it, perhaps that may be more due to your passive attitude about it. Did you use it as a teaching moment or just pass it off as no big deal?
She seems to think it's no big deal. She probably shrugged off her sister's concerns and that's probably what the sister is most upset about

Claremont, CA

#9 Mar 14, 2014
LW1 - Joining the chorus: how old are the kids?

LW2 - Go, sweetie. Travel, move to a big city if you want to. Enjoy your life. It doesn't sound like you've dated any other people but this guy. Maybe you should date others, the both of you.

LW3 - So, you work 40 hours a week and want weekends off and unencumbered by any chores. Your wife, as a realtor, works probably the same number of hours, so she should have the same amount of time off as you are - just to be fair. Sooooo....who is going to be doing the chores in your house? You think the toilet cleans itself and the carpets get vacuumed by magic? And would you rather call a plumber to tighten up a leaky faucet than do it yourself?

“...,to wit”

Since: Jun 09

Location hidden

#10 Mar 14, 2014
L1. Playing doctor is what little kids do. Truth or dare requires mental process of middle school or junior high at least, meaning approaching puberty.

Your sister is right. You need to have a heart to heart chat with your kids and apologize to your sister.

L2. Travel. Send him postcards. You will vastly regret it later if you don't spread your wings now.

But, of you do, don't be surprised if you come home to find he has a new girlfriend.

L3 And here we have the dynamics that underlie the cliche, "The shoemaker's children go barefoot".

LW is an a*s. However, his wife 's communication skills aren't so hot either

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