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“reign in blood”

Since: May 09

Braidwood, IL

#1 May 6, 2014
DEAR ABBY: I recently went in on a gift with my friend "Ali" for our other friend, "Gena." Ali offered to purchase and wrap the gift, a nice wallet from an inexpensive store. Imagine my surprise when Ali turned up at Gena's birthday party with the wallet elaborately wrapped in expensive designer paper.

At first, I thought she had spent more of her money and upgraded our gift, but when Gena unwrapped the designer packaging to reveal the original wallet we had selected, I was taken aback. It turned out that Ali had reused the wrapping paper from a gift her husband had given her, disguising our present as something it wasn't.

Gena was clearly disappointed. Other guests who had been eyeing it looked excited at first, then confused. I felt our gift wasn't appreciated and we ended up looking cheap. I was at a loss for words. What would have been the appropriate way to handle the situation? Is this normal gift-wrapping practice, or did Ali cross the line?-- FLABBERGASTED IN FLORIDA

DEAR FLABBERGASTED: Reusing wrapping paper isn't unusual. Gena's reaction to the gift was inappropriate. Instead of letting her disappointment show, Gena should have smiled and graciously thanked you and Ali for her gift.(Remember the phrase, "It's the thought that counts"?) As for you, all you needed to say was "Happy Birthday!"

DEAR ABBY: With Mother's Day nearly upon us, would you remind your readers that stepmothers are worthy of recognition, too? If one has any regard for the feelings of his or her stepmom, please make her day by calling or visiting her and telling her how much she means to you. And I don't mean a phone call at 9 p.m.

I married my husband when his sons were in their late teens. Every Mother's Day for 14 years I have been reminded that his sons choose not to recognize me, even though our relationships are very good.(One of them is a stepfather himself.) It's a real heartbreaker, believe me.-- GIVING UP ON WAITING IN OREGON

DEAR GIVING UP ON WAITING: If you think you are the only stepmother who feels unappreciated on Mother's Day, think again. I have heard from many stepmothers who have written letters that are variations on this theme. There can be reasons for it -- the fact that you didn't raise them, fear that it would be somehow disloyal to their birth mother, unresolved relationship issues or just being preoccupied.

If you haven't discussed this with your stepsons, perhaps you should. Or better yet, your husband should. But if that doesn't solve the problem, for your own sake, stop brooding about it and direct your attention elsewhere.

“reign in blood”

Since: May 09

Melrose Park, IL

#2 May 6, 2014
1- Wrapping paper? You're upset over the wrapping paper?

2- Attention wh0 res

Since: Jun 09

Saint Petersburg, FL

#3 May 6, 2014
LW1: I kinda don't get this letter.

LW2: Your hubby should say something.

“...,to wit”

Since: Jun 09

Location hidden

#4 May 6, 2014
1 I am not sure when there has been a more shallow letter. Abby must be scraping the bottom of th barrel.

2. Even though you have a very good relationship with them for 364 days a year for 14 years, you are upset because they don't honor a Hallmark holiday.

Here, have a lovely re-gift wrapped in re-cycled wrapping paper.

I think Julie planted these questions so her r usual remarks would be right on the mark

“I Am Mine”

Since: Dec 08

Location hidden

#5 May 6, 2014
Wtf is designer wrapping paper? And are you only permitted to use it if the gift is expensive? I think you're full of shit about the other guests too.

“I Am Mine”

Since: Dec 08

Location hidden

#6 May 6, 2014
You married in their LATE teens? ie: 17,18,19?

You came in as they were leaving. For all intents and purposes, you are not their stepmother. You are their dad's wife.

Since: Mar 09

Hollywood, FL

#7 May 6, 2014
L1: This has to be about Tiffany blue wrapping paper. That's the only distinctive "upscale" wrapping paper I know of (not that that's saying much).

L2: After 14 years, you're still not over this?

“The two baby belly, please!”

Since: Sep 09

Evanston IL

#8 May 6, 2014
LW1: PEllen is right; as shallow as the kiddie pool. And only you are still obsessing about it. Move along to something a little more important, please.

LW2: What Tonka said about this particular LW. And of course, her experiences are universal. NOT.
boundary painter

Waco, TX

#9 May 6, 2014
Shame on LW1 for giving Floridians an immature reputation.

LW2 is giving Oregon a bad name. A true mentor or "mother" wouldn't
squawk to be honored.

Toj

“Where is Everyone?”

Since: Jul 12

Location hidden

#10 May 6, 2014
L1: I agree with jamwow. I still think the LW's comments are strange. I doubt the receiver of the gift really thought she was getting something from Tiffany's.

L2: Hmmm. You're not as close as you think you are if it hurts you that much that you're not remembered on a Hallmark holiday. Seriously.

“reign in blood”

Since: May 09

Melrose Park, IL

#11 May 6, 2014
The decent thing for the kids to do is give her a token Happy Mother's Day phone call. Takes all of five seconds. But she should have brought the issue up with her husband instead of whining to Abby
pde

Bothell, WA

#12 May 6, 2014
LW1: Some of the "better" brands have gift boxes/wrapping paper that is specific to them (more usually gift boxes nowadays than wrapping paper though). When they have wrapping paper, it also tends to be thick/heavy duty and thus reusable.

My mom is an obsessive re-user of gift boxes and wrapping paper. She still hasn't run out of those thick, green, high quality Marshall Field's gift boxes.
Kuuipo

Elizabethtown, KY

#13 May 6, 2014
LW1: I reuse wrapping paper, boxes, and bags. Sometimes even tissue. As for LW, if you are so mortified, next time buy your own gift and wrap.

“Where is Tonka?”

Since: Feb 09

Neda, stay with me! Charlie

#14 May 6, 2014
1 ...Imagine my surprise when Ali turned up at Gena's birthday party with the wallet elaborately wrapped in expensive designer paper.....

Honestly, I cant imagine. Clearly nobody else can either.

Just be glad it did not come wrapped in paper from VS. You would have peed yourself.

2 I call my stepmom, but for this letter, team Tonka.
Pippa

Hancock, NY

#15 May 6, 2014
1: It sounds as though some of this lw's friends are snobs. My family often reused wrapping paper and gift boxes when I was growing up. My mom used to save and use the Sunday comics as gift wrap simply because we didn't have money to "waste" on something so unnecessary. The lw's friend didn't do anything wrong if her intent was simply to make a nice looking package for the gift. While I have heard of stores putting their names on the gift boxes they use to wrap gifts, I haven't heard of them covering their wrapping paper with it. But my experience is probably lacking in that area. In any event, I'm with Abby on this one. A gift is just that - a gift, not a payment on a debt. For the recipient to disappointment was rude.

2: And how is your relationship otherwise with your step children? Late teens is a bit late to think you can fully replace their mom. If you have an otherwise good relationship with them, count your blessings. One day a year does not mean anything. I mean, hey, they could pay lip service to you (to make their dad feel better or to keep you from haranguing him) by giving you a token gift each year just to shut you up but could otherwise hate your guts. Give it a break. You expect too much. I just don't understand why people put so much emphasis on one day of the year. They're only feeding into a "holiday" made up by or supported by businesses who wish to increase their bottom line. And yes, I'm a mom saying this.
Kuuipo

Elizabethtown, KY

#16 May 6, 2014
edogxxx wrote:
The decent thing for the kids to do is give her a token Happy Mother's Day phone call. Takes all of five seconds. But she should have brought the issue up with her husband instead of whining to Abby
This.
Pippa

Hancock, NY

#17 May 6, 2014
1: Whoops! I left out a word. The last line should have been, "the recipient to show disappointment...."
pde

Bothell, WA

#18 May 6, 2014
Pippa wrote:
1: It sounds as though some of this lw's friends are snobs. My family often reused wrapping paper and gift boxes when I was growing up. My mom used to save and use the Sunday comics as gift wrap simply because we didn't have money to "waste" on something so unnecessary. The lw's friend didn't do anything wrong if her intent was simply to make a nice looking package for the gift. While I have heard of stores putting their names on the gift boxes they use to wrap gifts, I haven't heard of them covering their wrapping paper with it. But my experience is probably lacking in that area. In any event, I'm with Abby on this one. A gift is just that - a gift, not a payment on a debt. For the recipient to disappointment was rude.
I used to wrap with the comics too when I was a kid. That was what my mom gave us kids to wrap any presents with.

From having things wrapped recently, it's usually the logo, not the name on the wrapping paper. Like Williams-Sonoma wraps in a cream colored paper with their pineapple logo on it.

Toj

“Where is Everyone?”

Since: Jul 12

Location hidden

#19 May 6, 2014
Huh. Who knew?

http://www.amazon.com/Mini-Square-Favor-Count...

For Christmas this year I think I'll buy a whole bunch of cheap jewelry for the women in my family and that I guy gifts for and then put them in this box. They also have tiffany blue paper and the white ribbon.

Toj

“Where is Everyone?”

Since: Jul 12

Location hidden

#20 May 6, 2014
"guy" was supposed to be "buy". Oops.

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