“reign in blood”

Since: May 09

Braidwood, IL

#1 Aug 8, 2014
DEAR ABBY: I have a friend who will help herself to anything in my fridge, pantry, etc. without asking. She also will eat most if not all food that's meant to be shared, such as appetizers and snacks at a social gathering. Once she literally polished off an entire plate of appetizers before my guests arrived and I had nothing to feed them.

After she finishes the food, she often says, "Oh, I was starving!" I find myself hiding food from her when she comes over, or delaying putting treats out for guests until later in the party.

The most recent episode was when I was preparing food for my toddler. While it was cooling on the counter, she helped herself to all of it. She told me afterward she had consumed it.

So you see -- nothing is safe, not even a child's meal. Abby, how can I tell her what she's doing is wrong and rude?-- STUMPED IN STUDIO CITY, CALIF.

DEAR STUMPED: Your friend may be a compulsive eater, but that's no excuse for what she has been doing. Tell her in plain English that you don't like it when she helps herself to food without first asking, or hogging it when it has been prepared for a party.

Taking something that was meant for your toddler was over the top. Say that if she's feeling "starved" when she's headed for your house, she should have a snack to take the edge off before arriving. And if you see less of her because of your frankness, consider yourself lucky.

DEAR ABBY: My husband and I and our toddler son were recently out to dinner. A woman walked past our table to the family next to us and gushed about how "beautiful" the couple's daughter was. Their child was the same age as our son, who is just as well-behaved.

I found it hurtful that a stranger would compliment one child and ignore the family seated at the next table. My husband disagrees. Am I wrong to be offended? Do you think this was rude?-- FURIOUS IN FLORIDA

DEAR FURIOUS: I agree with your husband. I doubt the woman deliberately meant to slight your son. All her attention was simply focused on the little girl.

DEAR ABBY: I always take my shower before I go to bed. My friends take their showers in the morning. Which one is correct? I wouldn't want to go to sleep dirty.-- GARY IN BROOKLYN

DEAR GARY: The time of day one takes a shower is a matter of personal preference and lifestyle. If you are a mechanic or do heavy physical labor, showering before you go to bed makes sense. However, if your job requires working closely with the public or co-workers, then taking a shower in the morning before work is considerate.

“reign in blood”

Since: May 09

United States

#2 Aug 8, 2014
1- at first I thought you were overreacting, but I agree, you're friend is out of line. Have you tried, I dunno, using your words?

2- oh jeeze, get over it

3- I shower nekkid

“A Programmer is not in IT!”

Since: Feb 09

Neda, stay with me! Charlie

#3 Aug 8, 2014
1 Eating your kids food is over the top, as well as eating all the appetizers. Call her out about he kids meal, and tell her to bring the appetizers for the next gathering.

2 Get over yourself lady and be thankful your kid is healthy.

3 I shower once a week, whether I need one or not.
Cass

Rancho Cucamonga, CA

#4 Aug 8, 2014
LW1 - Why, in the blazes, are you friends with this woman? Whether she needs psychological help or she is just a pig, I'd remove her from my friend list. After a couple of episodes, I'd be like, "WTF, Jenny! You just ate Junior's lunch. Are you ef-fing out of your mind? Were you so starving that you felt free to leave my kid hungry? Go get yourself a burger at McDonald's then, but don't you dare to touch my kid's food again."

LW2 - Today is the WTF day. WTF? A stranger did not compliment your toddler? Are you so nuts that you are competing with complete strangers in the cuteness and well-manneredness of their and your kids? You need help, lady.

LW3 - WTF? You want an advice columnist to tell you the appropriate time to shower? Shower whenever you please. Who cares? If you can come up with one objective reason for showering at a particular time of day, you win a cookie. If you can come up with two objective reasons, you win two cookies.

Toj

“Where is Everyone?”

Since: Jul 12

Location hidden

#5 Aug 8, 2014
Ha! Love Cass' answers.

L1: I would have stopped her the first time. A good friend looking in the fridge doesn't bother me. Eating all my food does. I doubt very much I'd let there be a second time.

L2: And if you were the mother of the daughter you'd be complaining about a stranger reinforcing society's obsession with beauty and how you want to raise your daughter to have high self-esteem and not just about beauty.

L3: You're the type that needs to be told how to do everything, right? LW is probably lacking in common sense.

“I Am Mine”

Since: Dec 08

Location hidden

#6 Aug 8, 2014
LW1: How can you tell her? USE YOUR WORDS. You are afraid of upsetting her and instead, settling for only letting her upset you.

LW2: Waaaahhhhh! Waahhhhhh! STFU.

LW3: Which one is correct? The answer is on page 12 of the showering manual, about 3 paragraphs down. How could you even ask which is correct. Read the Fn manual.

Since: Aug 08

Location hidden

#7 Aug 8, 2014
LW1: Fake letter ALERT!

A simple “go get your own food and stop eating ALL my effing food for my _____(guests, baby or self) you fat sow” would have long ago corrected the problem.

LW2: I know how you feel. I felt the same way when the waitress at Cracker Barrel, also did modeling, said my youngest should really get into modeling. At first, I was like wtf about my other kids, but then I grew visibly shaken when I thought what about ME. That b1tch … what am I chopped liver … no tip for you!!! J/K :p

You are furious over this … for real? STFU whiny.

LW3: I think Gary takes a bubble bath with candles, not a shower, wears footie pajamas, watches Doc Mcstuffins, and has his mommy tuck him in at night, cause he sounds like a knob.
cheluzal

Plant City, FL

#8 Aug 8, 2014
1: Why are people afraid of using words with people they call friends?
This friend doesn't care about offending you--why care about offending her?
2: "Beautiful" and "well-behaved" are not related. Maybe your good kid is ugly...
3: Team Tonka.

“A Programmer is not in IT!”

Since: Feb 09

Neda, stay with me! Charlie

#9 Aug 8, 2014
For the win!
cheluzal wrote:
2: "Beautiful" and "well-behaved" are not related. Maybe your good kid is ugly...
.
Pippa

Hancock, NY

#10 Aug 8, 2014
1: Yes, use your words. Tell your friend that she needs to eat before she comes to your house because you cannot continue to let her use your kitchen as her own buffet. Tell her she has eaten food meant for others too often. It isn't even the expense of feeding her which is bad enough, it's the inconvenience of having to either go buy and prepare more food or even having her child go hungry because she's eaten the food you've prepared for him. Don't be wishy washy. Tell her you have been kind enough for long enough and she needs to stop eating all your food and she isn't to eat anything that you do not expressly offer. I am sure most people were raised to ask before eating food that hasn't been offered in another's home. I was raised to not even look in another person's fridge or cabinets or touch food on the table unless invited to do so. I don't even ASK for food, other than perhaps a glass of water, in another's home. Your friend's behavior is beyond rude.

2: Lady, you have a problem but your child has an even bigger problem - you for a mother. Get some perspective. You and your child are not the center of the universe.

3: Oh my goodness! I can't believe this is so important to you that you have to write to an advice columnist. Abby's response makes perfect sense. I can't believe you couldn't figure that out. Or is it that your friends are giving you a hard time? Oh, that's right, YOU said YOU didn't want to go to bed dirty. Fine. But you are implying that your friends do. So you just want Abby to agree with you so you can use her opinion to rub it in to your friends that they don't shower at the right time and they're dirty slobs. Such a petty idea. Tell you what. Both you and your friends are wrong. You need to shower before you go to bed AND when you get up in the morning. There! Now you have a compromise. <sarcasm intended>

“...,to wit”

Since: Jun 09

Location hidden

#11 Aug 8, 2014
L1. Knowing that she does this, make an irresistible looking dish with a large amount of cayenne added and leave it out for her.
L2 Cheluzal nailed it.
L3 Why not both?

“I Am Mine”

Since: Dec 08

Location hidden

#12 Aug 8, 2014
Years ago, as a co-worker and I were walking away from our table at lunch, we simultaneously gave each other the knowing nod. As we exited the restaurant, we both busted out about how ugly that baby was tgat we gad just walked by. Back at work, we were telling some of the others about it and the resident PITA started flipping out cause we were talking bout a child. F that. The kid was born ugly. Its not like we started pointing and heckling. We were not giving the kid a complex. The other schoolkids would most likely gandle that on their own.
cheluzal wrote:
2: "Beautiful" and "well-behaved" are not related. Maybe your good kid is ugly...
.

“I Am Mine”

Since: Dec 08

Location hidden

#13 Aug 8, 2014
PEllen wrote:
L3 Why not both?
waste if time? Waste of water? If you shower before bed, what is the point of doing it again in the morning.

“...,to wit”

Since: Jun 09

Location hidden

#14 Aug 8, 2014
Mister Tonka wrote:
<quoted text>waste if time? Waste of water? If you shower before bed, what is the point of doing it again in the morning.
If I shower at night I feel clean between the sheets for me and my husband. I don't consider that a waste of time.

.I generally shower in the morning as I get dressed for work because it wakes me up and I don't smell of the bedroom.

But I live next to Lake Michigan so water conservation is not a high priority

“I Am Mine”

Since: Dec 08

Location hidden

#15 Aug 9, 2014
PEllen wrote:
<quoted text>If I shower at night I feel clean between the sheets for me and my husband. I don't consider that a waste of time.
Nor do I, but having done so, it seems like a waste of time to do it again in the morning.
PEllen wrote:
I generally shower in the morning as I get dressed for work because it wakes me up and I don't smell of the bedroom.
Smell of bedroom? WTF is that?
PEllen wrote:
But I live next to Lake Michigan so water conservation is not a high priority
I was not talking about waste in that sense, but in the sense that I'd be needlessly making my water bill higher.

Since: Dec 09

Smalltown, Colorado

#16 Aug 9, 2014
LW1 - This woman would never be in my home again. If you actually have to tell someone that they shouldn't eat all the food in your house, that person is so seriously stupid that nothing you say will do any good. Save your breath and your sanity.

LW2 - The kid's mother is paranoid. Does she also imagine black helicopters are spying on her kid?

LW3 - Who cares when someone takes a shower as long as they take a shower?
cheluzal

Plant City, FL

#17 Aug 9, 2014
Mister Tonka wrote:
Years ago, as a co-worker and I were walking away from our table at lunch, we simultaneously gave each other the knowing nod. As we exited the restaurant, we both busted out about how ugly that baby was tgat we gad just walked by. Back at work, we were telling some of the others about it and the resident PITA started flipping out cause we were talking bout a child. F that. The kid was born ugly. Its not like we started pointing and heckling. We were not giving the kid a complex. The other schoolkids would most likely gandle that on their own.
<quoted text>
Yeah, I never coo over strangers' babies, even if they are cute, but I can admit not all of us were born cute. Many can grow into their looks, but I don't believe all babies are cute.

Does anyone remember that Seinfeld episode with the ugly baby? The camera was in the crib and you'd see them almost gag looking into it, until Kramer spilled the beans? lol
boundary painter

San Antonio, TX

#18 Aug 10, 2014
Glance into the future for LW1:
(a) She dumped the "javelina hog" and got other friends.
(b) She put only super healthy food (that wasn't that tasty) in the refrigerator when "Hoggy" came over.
(c) She offered "Hoggy" a Slim fast shake to curb her appetite.
or
(d) other

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