“A Programmer is not in IT!”

Since: Feb 09

Neda, stay with me!

#21 Jul 24, 2013
disgusting, I would have to throw my pc away after that.
RedheadwGlasses wrote:
Thanks to the advice of someone online, one nighta few years ago I trolled through the CL ads for one-night stands. The gay ones were disturbing. Most were about cheating on their wives with other men. Many had men bent over showing their held-wide-open butt cheeks. Many were saying "Wife is out of town, come one over and I'll blow you."
It was entertaining and a bit horrifying at the same time.
Haven't been back to look at those ads again. Saw enough.

Since: Jan 10

Location hidden

#22 Jul 24, 2013
RACE wrote:
disgusting, I would have to throw my pc away after that.
<quoted text>
I didn't like the guys who were trying to cheat. But comparing the three dating categories (straights, lesbians, and gay men) was hilarious.

“It made sense at the time....”

Since: May 09

Schaumburg, IL

#23 Jul 24, 2013
LW3 - just tell those who prod that early retirement is somethign that you've been working towards for years, adn change the subject to the local sports team... That gets it out there that you do have a plan, and chatting about soemthign else hopefully gets them off your back for now.

Since: Aug 08

Location hidden

#24 Jul 24, 2013
RACE wrote:
disgusting, I would have to throw my pc away after that.
<quoted text>
I wanna throw my pc away after reading her post. Those poor women.

“...,to wit”

Since: Jun 09

Location hidden

#25 Jul 24, 2013
cheluzal wrote:
2: I'm anti-hugs and usually have to initiate the handshake. I find so many people can't manage this simple greeting, but I predict she's getting old guys perving on her, TBH. She's young and her body language isn't forceful enough.
I agree that it is a body language issue.
I was young and nubile once and didn't have the problem with greeting people in a neutral or business context.
I was pregnant twice and don't recall anyone patting my belly.
I am not sure what it is that I did/do, but this has not been an issue for me. Some of you who have met me IRL might be able to give some insight.

However, see my reply to JMW below.

“...,to wit”

Since: Jun 09

Location hidden

#26 Jul 24, 2013
j_m_w wrote:
L2: I refuse to believe that New Yorkers are constantly trying to hug you.
.
Maybe. There is a social behavior that is something akin to an air kiss between professional men and women that is common. The best public example I can recall is George Bush and Condeleeza Rice , I think when she was sworn in as Secretary of State. I get it when the greeting is a mix of social and business. For example, if I am meeting people for a specified business reason, we will shake hands. If I run into one of these people in a business setting but we are not directly engaged in business, it is not uncommon to exchange a light hug, cheek brush, air kiss. It seems to be a M-F or F-F thing in the US; I suspect it might also be M-M, F-F in some European cultures
edogxxx

Florence, SC

#27 Jul 24, 2013
"I'm not considered beautiful by any means, so that means meeting any good guys won't happen"

The problem isn't your looks, it's your attitude. I've seen many of ugly women paired up with other ugly, or even semi-attractive men, and vice versa. You need therapy to deal with your self esteem.

2- I don't believe so many random strangers lunge forward to hug you on a regular basis. Drama Queen much?

3- You're doing a small part to help the economy by taking yourself out of the work force and giving someone else a chance.
cheluzal

Plant City, FL

#28 Jul 24, 2013
PEllen wrote:
<quoted text>
I agree that it is a body language issue.
I was young and nubile once and didn't have the problem with greeting people in a neutral or business context.
I was pregnant twice and don't recall anyone patting my belly.
I am not sure what it is that I did/do, but this has not been an issue for me. Some of you who have met me IRL might be able to give some insight.
However, see my reply to JMW below.
Some of us give off a [hug me and die] vibe, lol. I hate unsolicited hugs and generally react like a TV character, "Oh, my--there that is."
A hand to shake out before they get close enough can be a barrier.
cheluzal

Plant City, FL

#29 Jul 24, 2013
RE: Craigslist: I have a guy asking me for a second date and wanting to pick me up, and I'm all like, um--no.
I will get in a car with you when I feel good and ready, and that takes time. Gah.

“What's it to ya?”

Since: Mar 09

Location hidden

#30 Jul 24, 2013
cheluzal wrote:
<quoted text>
Some of us give off a [hug me and die] vibe,
That's me! I don't even like shaking hands (germs you know) but I will. And in a business/professional situation, my hand will go out before anyone even thinks about trying to hug me.

To reiterate: Hug (or even try to) me without my consent, lose a testicle.

“What's it to ya?”

Since: Mar 09

Location hidden

#31 Jul 24, 2013
cheluzal wrote:
RE: Craigslist: I have a guy asking me for a second date and wanting to pick me up, and I'm all like, um--no.
I will get in a car with you when I feel good and ready, and that takes time. Gah.
Yeah, not even gonna happen. I have my own car thank you very much. Second date? Right like you know him well enough to get in a car alone. What's he thinking?

“...,to wit”

Since: Jun 09

Location hidden

#32 Jul 24, 2013
Things have clearly changed since I dated 30+ years ago.

I'd meet a guy or get fixed up. He would ask for a date. I expected him to come to my house in his car and pick me up. Open the car door for me, too. It never occurred to me that I was getting in a car with some strange dude and I could be at risk. I don't think any of my girlfriends thought that way.

The guys I dated are ones I had met at ski club which was essentially an open group that met at a bar once a week to hang out, but sometimes I was fixed up. My husband is someone I met at a party. We were in a car together on the first real date.

I don't envy you single people at all if this is what you have to deal with on a regular basis.

Since: Jan 10

Location hidden

#33 Jul 25, 2013
Still today, I would let a guy pick me up for a first date. Zero fears.

Since: Mar 09

Miami, FL

#34 Jul 25, 2013
RedheadwGlasses wrote:
Still today, I would let a guy pick me up for a first date. Zero fears.
Hmmm... I don't think I would, unless it was a friend of a friend or something. But second or third, probably.

Since I live downtown now, it was a total non-issue with D; I just walked wherever to meet him.

Toj

“Where is Everyone?”

Since: Jul 12

Location hidden

#35 Jul 25, 2013
RedheadwGlasses wrote:
Still today, I would let a guy pick me up for a first date. Zero fears.
I have after I have spoken to the person long enough to feel comfortable. I'd prefer not to be picked up at the house on the first date and not until I know he's not the type of personn that when/if it doesn't work out they aren't the stalker-type.
Kuuipo

Monterey, CA

#36 Jul 25, 2013
LW1: I once read that only 1% to 2% of people are beautiful in the cover model sense of the word. I think that everyone has potential and we all just need to work with what we have got. So LW, get to work! First of all, get fit! Hit the gym and get in the best shape of your life. This will boost your self esteem, improve your health, and increase your sense of well-being. Next, get a makeover and learn how to apply cosmetics. And lastly, work on your wardrobe. The right clothes in bright colors will draw attention. My last piece of advice is to take ballroom dance classes. This will get you in touch with men in a social setting and reduce your awkwardness.

Since: Jan 10

Location hidden

#37 Jul 25, 2013
Toj wrote:
<quoted text>
I have after I have spoken to the person long enough to feel comfortable. I'd prefer not to be picked up at the house on the first date and not until I know he's not the type of personn that when/if it doesn't work out they aren't the stalker-type.
RIght. This would be after some communication by phone, at a minimum.
cheluzal

Plant City, FL

#38 Jul 25, 2013
Mimi Seattle wrote:
<quoted text>
Yeah, not even gonna happen. I have my own car thank you very much. Second date? Right like you know him well enough to get in a car alone. What's he thinking?
I don't know! I hate dating, especially online. It is so inorganic. Our first date was nice and he seems harmless enough. Seems being the key word. But he calls me with the details last night while I'm in church (he knows I'm in church, and should've been in his own).
I didn't call him back because after I got out and got home it was too late. Called hours ago and have heard nothing...he's crazy if he thinks he's waiting until the last minute on this.
And I don't even know where we're going! Bah.

“...,to wit”

Since: Jun 09

Location hidden

#39 Jul 25, 2013
http://theater.nytimes.com/2013/07/28/theater...

Ah hah! Some guys wrote a musical called First Date and it is opening on Broadway.

“What's it to ya?”

Since: Mar 09

Location hidden

#40 Jul 25, 2013
cheluzal wrote:
<quoted text>
I don't know! I hate dating, especially online. It is so inorganic. Our first date was nice and he seems harmless enough. Seems being the key word. But he calls me with the details last night while I'm in church (he knows I'm in church, and should've been in his own).
I didn't call him back because after I got out and got home it was too late. Called hours ago and have heard nothing...he's crazy if he thinks he's waiting until the last minute on this.
And I don't even know where we're going! Bah.
Yeah I don't really like online either. As to this particular guy...I don't know babe. Inconsiderate of my time, my schedule, my priorities? Making me wait for hours for a call back and not even telling me where? Keep walking. But maybe that's just me. <shrug>

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