“Not a real reg”

Since: Jan 13

Location hidden

#1 Oct 28, 2013
DEAR ABBY: I am divorced, successful, and the father of two teenage girls. I have been seeing my girlfriend, "Stella," for a year and a half. She also has two teenage daughters. When we met, Stella's divorce was becoming final, and her house was near the tail end of a foreclosure. The sheriff removed her from her home a few months later.

I bought a couple of condos and let Stella choose one she wanted to move into. She agreed she would pay the bills and some rent once she settled in.

Two weeks after she moved in, she quit her job. It has been almost a year, and she hasn't gone on one job interview. I pay all her bills now, and I'm getting resentful.

It's not the money (I've got plenty), but I feel she continues to see me only so she can live rent-free. Our communication isn't the greatest, and she gets angry if this topic is brought up. How should I approach her without sounding like a cheapskate?-- DON'T WANT TO BE A SUGAR DADDY IN CHICAGO

DEAR SUGAR DADDY: Of course she gets angry! Have you never heard the saying, "The best defense is a strong offense"?

If you want to resolve this, you must be prepared for Stella to react negatively. Start the conversation by saying, "When you moved into my condo, you agreed to pay your own bills and some rent. It's been a year, and you haven't even looked for a job." Then give her a date by which you want her to move out.

Because she has been living there for some time, she may have certain tenant's rights that will have to be respected. It doesn't take a crystal ball to see that you will probably have to evict her -- so talk to your attorney before you discuss this with Stella.

DEAR ABBY: I am the mother of a 31-year-old son, "Johann," who is in the Navy. He just posted a picture of himself in his uniform on Facebook. I am praying it's not his official photo, because he made an incredibly stupid face on it.

He used to do this when he was a child. Even his high school photos look like this. It is embarrassing to me! I could never show it to anyone and proudly say, "This is my son."

Johann is an accomplished young man, a supervisor. But I can't reconcile this picture with the man he is. What can I do?-- FREAKED OUT IN GERMANY

DEAR FREAKED OUT: Your son is an adult. If he is making this expression in photographs on purpose, perhaps it's time you asked him why. While it may be a display of immaturity on his part, it could also be that he is uncomfortable in front of a camera.(Many people are. It's referred to as "deer-in-the-headlights " syndrome.)

Explain that you would love to have a picture of him that depicts how he really is, and ask if he would be willing, as a favor to his mother, to sit for a session with a professional photographer when he comes home for a visit. If he isn't, then perhaps he'd be more relaxed posing for a photo that you take.

DEAR ABBY: My fiancee, "Tina," and I made a resolution to lose weight for our wedding. Everything has been going great except for one thing. Because men lose weight faster than women, I now weigh less at 6 foot 1 than she does at 5 feet 4.

Tina already has self-esteem issues. I want to look good for our wedding, but not at the cost of my fiancee's hurt feelings. What can I do?-- AT A LOSS IN MICHIGAN

DEAR AT A LOSS: Continue being supportive and help Tina to maintain her self-esteem. But her weight issue is her responsibility, not yours. If she becomes frustrated or depressed that she isn't losing quickly enough, suggest she consult her doctor or a registered dietitian about the reason why.
Cass

Claremont, CA

#2 Oct 28, 2013
LW1 - Wow. A real-life, undisguised gold-digger. Btw, how did you manage to become wealthy without possessing any spine? Don't successful business people have to be quite forceful and firm at times?

LW2 - It's the darn FB! FB doesn't have "official photos." You can post whatever you darn want. I doubt a silly tongue-haning out, googley-eyed picture shows up on his Navy ID.

LW3 - No advice here. Do you want to spare your fiancÚ's feelings at the cost of your health? That's just stupid. Her feelings are hers, and unless you rub it in her face that you weight less at 6'1" than she at 5'4," the only thing you can do is to reassure her that you love her.

“A Programmer is not in IT!”

Since: Feb 09

Neda, stay with me! Charlie

#3 Oct 28, 2013
1 pussaaayyyyy! you are the male equivalent of getting the milk for free.

2 <WAIL!> Oh, the drama! I bet your son laughs till he pees every time he thinks of you looking at his pictures!

3 Start tapping her more often, she will burn more calories. Of just lock her in the closet and feed her pizza crusts.

Toj

“Where is Everyone?”

Since: Jul 12

Location hidden

#4 Oct 28, 2013
L1: Idiot.:D Well, he is!

L2: It's FB. Life shouldn't be that serious on FB. If you want a good picture of him set-up an appointment for him with a professional photographer if he'll agree to it or you or a good friend take one of him.

L3: Continue to support her. I'd be pissed if someone starting gaining weight for me as if I couldn't stick to it. Have more faith!

“What's it to ya?”

Since: Mar 09

Location hidden

#5 Oct 28, 2013
1: You're cute. No really, I like you. Can we talk about the apartment I need in Cali so I can go work on my dissertation? I'm going to need it for about...3 years. I will let you buy me dinner and stuff occasionally too! Also, I'm going to need you to cover utilities and groceries and maybe give me a couple grand a month spending money. You're cute.

2: SUCH a non-issue.

3: Just quit talking about it. Support her efforts, but don't make it a "thing."
Blunt Advice

Suffern, NY

#6 Oct 28, 2013
1. This show one does not have to stand on a street corner in the low rent district to be a prostitute.
2. Be glad he is on water instead of the middle of the desert. It's a lot safer.
3. Is she healthy? Do you both exercise? Whatever you do don't rub it in that you weigh less.
Kuuipo

Monterey, CA

#7 Oct 28, 2013
LW1: Your first clue should have been the sheriff removing her from her previous home. He'll have to remove her from yours as well, because that's the only way that she's leaving.

LW2: Just tell him that he's handsome and that you want a good picture of him.

LW3: Don't focus on numbers, focus on health. Cook together. Give up all fast food. Eat more veggies and fewer carbs as a couple and get into some calorie-burning activities like hiking and biking. Sign the two of you up for dance classes so that you'll dance beautifully together at your wedding.
Julie

Chicago, IL

#8 Oct 28, 2013
LW1: S.U.C.K.A.H.!
cheluzal

Plant City, FL

#9 Oct 28, 2013
1: Woah. This girl has big ones--I guess someone in that relationship needs them.

2: Johann???

3: Good advice. She should be happy for you and separate the two. It's tough, but this is a lifelong issue.

Since: Mar 09

Pittsburgh, PA

#10 Oct 28, 2013
cheluzal wrote:
2: Johann???
Read the signature!
cheluzal

Plant City, FL

#11 Oct 29, 2013
VAdame wrote:
<quoted text>
Read the signature!
Okay!
Calm your t!ts...

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