First Prev
of 2
Next Last

“reign in blood”

Since: May 09

Braidwood, IL

#1 Feb 13, 2013
DEAR ABBY: My daughters are attractive young women, both doing well in their professional careers. "Melanie," who is 27, is married to "Sam," an extremely attractive and successful man.

My 30-year-old daughter, "Alicia," has been divorced for a year. Her marriage failed two years ago because she and her husband had an appetite for sex outside their marriage. While I was disturbed about that, I was horrified to learn that Melanie allows her sister to occasionally have sex with Sam.

Melanie's argument is that Sam is less likely to cheat given this situation. When I asked her and Sam about it, he said it wasn't his idea. My current husband says any man who would refuse this "set-up" would be nuts. Alicia claims she "doesn't have time" to date right now, and after she finishes her MBA, she'll seek out a more normal relationship.

I am distraught about this mess. Melanie says she wants to start a family soon. She says she loves Sam, who can "handle everything," and she enjoys seeing "everyone happy." She says Alicia won't sleep around now and, maybe, one day she'll marry a handsome man like Sam who will "return the favor"!

I can't believe these girls are my daughters. Should I continue to protest or let it go? Is this relaxed attitude about sex prevalent in young people today? I cannot understand Melanie's lack of desire to defend her turf.-- HEARTBROKEN MOM IN FLORIDA

DEAR MOM: Your daughters appear to be into the concept of open marriage. Clearly, they do not view marriage and relationships the same way you do.

Melanie is naive to think that encouraging Sam to have a sexual relationship with her sister will discourage him from seeking other partners. Far from it. And as for her wanting to start a family, has she considered what will happen if her husband impregnates Alicia at the same time -- or first?

But back to your question: Are you right to protest? You certainly are. That's what mothers are for -- to inject a dose of sanity when everyone around her is losing theirs.

DEAR ABBY: The other day at work, my girlfriend overheard a group of people in the break room talking about what they'd do first if they won the lottery. Without exception, everyone in that room said the first thing they would do is get a divorce. My girlfriend was stunned.

Have you ever done an informal reader survey on this subject? Is the state of marriage in America really that bad? I'm also curious if answers would differ along gender lines. Let me know what you think, and thanks.-- HAPPILY SINGLE BUT STILL A BELIEVER IN MARRIAGE

DEAR HAPPILY SINGLE: No, I have not done a reader survey on this subject. But I'm glad you asked, because I think what your girlfriend heard is a sad commentary on the state of the marriages of her co-workers. Readers, if you'd care to chime in on this, I'm sure it would be enlightening.

“reign in blood”

Since: May 09

Melrose Park, IL

#2 Feb 13, 2013
1- What could POSSIBLY go wrong?! Congratulations, honey, you've raised a pair of sl ut s. Maybe your own broken marriage had something to do with this?

2- Yeah right, divorce and lose half your winnings.

“I Am Mine”

Since: Dec 08

Location hidden

#3 Feb 13, 2013
LW1: This letter is either fake, or the daughters are F'n with the mom for some reason. I can think of no good reason why they would share this with her if it were true.

“I Am Mine”

Since: Dec 08

Location hidden

#4 Feb 13, 2013
edogxxx wrote:
2- Yeah right, divorce and lose half your winnings.
Hey, divorce is expensive. Lots of people stay married out of convenience. What do you think is the more desirable alternative. Stay married with someone you don't want o be married to and SHARE the jackpot(meaning she has access to 100% of it), or divorce, and give her half(or less if you can swing it) and be free to go find someone else?
PEllen

Chicago, IL

#5 Feb 13, 2013
edogxxx wrote:
1- What could POSSIBLY go wrong?! Congratulations, honey, you've raised a pair of sl ut s. Maybe your own broken marriage had something to do with this?
2- Yeah right, divorce and lose half your winnings.
1. Normally I would have discountd your comment, but LW refers to her current husband which suggests he is one in a series.
2. If they won the lottery and THEN got divorced, the money would be marital property and would be split.No getting around it.OTOH there is a woman in my village who is politely a political gadfly. Her ex-husband has been quoted , prominently, as saying it was teh best $12 million dollars he ever spent.

Since: Mar 09

Miami, FL

#6 Feb 13, 2013
L1: Whaaaaat???

L2: The first thing I'd be TEMPTED to do is laugh in Jasper's face - talk about bad timing, buddy! But hopefully I'd restrain myself. I probably wouldn't do anything major right away. I wouldn't want everyone and their brother knowing I was wealthy.

Since: Dec 07

DuPage County

#7 Feb 13, 2013
1 Fake letter, no effin' way this is true.

2 No way I'd give up half a windfall. I'd be too busy quitting my job!

“Where is Tonka?”

Since: Feb 09

Neda, stay with me! Charlie

#8 Feb 13, 2013
1 "My current Husband...." Apples do not fall far from the tree granny slt.

2 This is funny, My friend was telling me last night that they got a call from Readers Digest saying they had won 300K. They were given a # to call, which answered the phone as "Bank of America". I told them to call their local branch and validate that that is a real bank #, since both they and RD would want to know if this was a scam.

“Fort Kickass”

Since: Sep 09

Bloomington, IL

#9 Feb 13, 2013
L1: "That's what mothers are for -- to inject a dose of sanity when everyone around her is losing theirs." Or, the complete opposite if you're around my MIL.

“The two baby belly, please!”

Since: Sep 09

Evanston IL

#10 Feb 13, 2013
LW1: Wow, do you guys over-share. No way, no how, do I want to know what my adult children are doing in their sex lives.

Next time they start telling you these things, ask them to stop, that you have no business knowing these things and to please not talk about it in the future. Use the fingers in the ears/la la la technique; they'll get the message.

Unless you *like* the drama. In that case you should shut the f*ck up.

LW2: No thanks, I'd keep mine and build him a studio. He'd think that was better than a divorce.
:D

“Fort Kickass”

Since: Sep 09

Bloomington, IL

#11 Feb 13, 2013
j_m_w wrote:
L1: Whaaaaat???
L2: The first thing I'd be TEMPTED to do is laugh in Jasper's face - talk about bad timing, buddy! But hopefully I'd restrain myself. I probably wouldn't do anything major right away. I wouldn't want everyone and their brother knowing I was wealthy.
That would be the worst thing--the people coming out of the woodwork grubbing for money.

There was some big winner once that offered family members X amount per year and if they asked for more, they were immediately cut off forever. I'd probably go that route.

Since: Jan 10

Location hidden

#12 Feb 13, 2013
Ugh. Worst Abby ever.

“reign in blood”

Since: May 09

Melrose Park, IL

#13 Feb 13, 2013
RedheadwGlasses wrote:
Ugh. Worst Abby ever.
I thought it was rather juicy.
Kuuipo

Marina, CA

#14 Feb 13, 2013
LW1: You should have written to Jerry Springer.

LW2: I would have thought that the first thing people would do is quit their jobs. I like my job enough, but I do it for the money, and I'd prefer to have more free time.

Since: Jan 10

Location hidden

#15 Feb 13, 2013
I'd probably give notice so they at least had time to replace me, if the workflow warranted it. I don't want to be a dick.

But I"d quit, absolutely.

“I looked, and behold,”

Since: Aug 08

Location hidden

#16 Feb 13, 2013
LW1: I wanna marry Alicia so she can “return the favor." ;p

This letter has to be fake. On top of how f'd up the arrangement is, who would share this with their parents?
PEllen

Chicago, IL

#17 Feb 13, 2013
Sublime1 wrote:
LW1: I wanna marry Alicia so she can “return the favor." ;p
This letter has to be fake. On top of how f'd up the arrangement is, who would share this with their parents?
Cuz they have sleepovers at the parents house and all use one bedroom?
Sam I Am

Nashville, TN

#18 Feb 13, 2013
1. People have open marriages, there is a shoe for every foot (as my gramps said) so I can believe the scenario the LW spelled out. I can also believe that mommmy wasn't very attentive and nurturing when she was raising her daughters.

2.

“I looked, and behold,”

Since: Aug 08

Location hidden

#19 Feb 13, 2013
PEllen wrote:
<quoted text>
Cuz they have sleepovers at the parents house and all use one bedroom?
He's nailing them both at the same time? I didn't think of that. Now I really want to marry Alicia more than evah. LOL
Kuuipo

Marina, CA

#20 Feb 13, 2013
Sam I Am wrote:
1. People have open marriages, there is a shoe for every foot (as my gramps said) so I can believe the scenario the LW spelled out. I can also believe that mommmy wasn't very attentive and nurturing when she was raising her daughters.
Open marriages are one thing. Banging your sister-in-law takes it to another level of stupid, and telling your mother about it takes it off the chart. Even animals know better than to sh.t where they eat. And why bother to get married if you are not going to be monogamous?

Tell me when this thread is updated:

Subscribe Now Add to my Tracker
First Prev
of 2
Next Last

Add your comments below

Characters left: 4000

Please note by submitting this form you acknowledge that you have read the Terms of Service and the comment you are posting is in compliance with such terms. Be polite. Inappropriate posts may be removed by the moderator. Send us your feedback.

Chicago Discussions

Title Updated Last By Comments
News Barack Obama, our next President (Nov '08) 3 min VetnorsGate 1,566,765
News BARACK OBAMA BIRTH CERTIFICATE: Suit contesting... (Jan '09) 13 min obama 242,112
Trump Sounds like a fool 47 min SO DO YOU 8
I Hate my life and mom (Aug '07) 51 min Eat a gun 1,760
Craig's list personal ad. 53 min This is good 1
{keep A word drop A word} (Oct '11) 1 hr SweLL GirL 11,031
Steve Wilkos : talk show host ? or simple mi... (Feb '08) 4 hr Talk show host k... 469

Chicago Jobs

More from around the web

Personal Finance

Chicago Mortgages