Abby 10-22

[Matilda77]

pde wrote:

<quoted text>
Wow. Your MIL would really hate me. I'm the type of person who looks at her phone in the evening to see what I've missed during the day, because my phone is usually in my purse and my purse locked up in a drawer, thus I don't hear the ring or text tone anyhow.

I am near my phone or computer most of the time, but I don't expect anyone to answer immediately. It's why I love texting/emailing/IMing vs. calling. I don't feel like I'm bugging anyone. Answer at your convenience and I will do the same. My MIL can't fathom that people are doing other things besides Facebooking or watching reality TV, because that's all she does.

[Toj]

RedheadwGlasses wrote:

<quoted text>
The mom did that to Debra on "Everybody Loves Raymond."

Great minds and all that. That was my first thought. I was thinking it may be a fake letter. It reads way too much like the Barones.

[PEllen]

Mister Tonka wrote:

<quoted text>And you don't think the majority of the population uses the visual as the iitial screen test?

Initial screen, sure.
Griping about a whole population cohort? Picky.

Reaching mid 40's are only complaining about visuals and saying nothing about what might be between the ears? Well he will get what he asks for.

[Kuuipo]

LW1: Sounds like MIL is competing with you for your husband's affection. She made a sabotaged cookbook and gave it to you as a gift? That's messed up. The good news is that your husband gets it. She needs therapy and a hobby or two. You know what? If you need to move to distance yourself from her, do it.

LW2: HA! That was funny. Good one, Abby!

[edogxxx]

PEllen wrote:

<quoted text>Initial screen, sure.
Griping about a whole population cohort? Picky.
Reaching mid 40's are only complaining about visuals and saying nothing about what might be between the ears? Well he will get what he asks for.

What's between the ears is irrelevant if her appearance doesn't meet his preference. He shouldn't have to settle for a fifty year old obese woman just because she's smart.

[PEllen]

edogxxx wrote:

<quoted text>
What's between the ears is irrelevant if her appearance doesn't meet his preference. He shouldn't have to settle for a fifty year old obese woman just because she's smart.

Correct and I am not saying he should.But the LW is only talking about looks and not about anything under teh skin Fat can go away. Stupid is forever.

OTOH the women would have to figure ouy what to talk to him about, so maybe it would be a good match.

He should just hope his Lasik surgery works

[Mister Tonka]

PEllen wrote:

<quoted text>Initial screen, sure.
Griping about a whole population cohort? Picky.
Reaching mid 40's are only complaining about visuals and saying nothing about what might be between the ears? Well he will get what he asks for.

If they don't pass the visual screening, they don't get in the door for him to see what's between the ears. Is that so wrong?

If you were single and at a party, would you approach or send the googly eye glances toward a guy you were not attracted to visually? Being visually appealing(and that can mean differnt things to diffferent people) is the cover charge to get in the door.

[Aisle Sitter]

LW1 - yeah, keep your distance. be pleasant, but don't cuont on her to do/not do things. go ahead and live your life your way and include her if you can, but don't sweat it if you cant.

i learned early on to plan a full round of appetizers for THanksgiving and the 8" round tray of crappy cheese and sauseage she brings is extra. actually, i learned that the first year wehn she said she'd bring an appetizer & brought wine instead.

LW2 - love the snark from abby.

[Matilda77]

PEllen wrote:

<quoted text>Fat can go away. Stupid is forever.

Sure, but for most of us, we're at the top of our game when we're on the market. If that's the top of their game, it's probably *not* going to go away; it's going to get worse.

[Sublime1]

Mister Tonka wrote:

<quoted text> Being visually appealing(and that can mean differnt things to diffferent people) is the cover charge to get in the door.

Exactly!

P, to some guys, if not many guys, there is also more to being physically attractive than just not being fat.

[PEllen]

Sublime1 wrote:

<quoted text>
Exactly!
P, to some guys, if not many guys, there is also more to being physically attractive than just not being fat.

Fat was Dog's description.

I just think that guys who complain that they can't find nice looking women in a whole age range are shallow.
Amendment accepted: Looks can change, stupid is forever.

Check back when this joker is 65 and paunchy and on ED pills and his 401k has tanked and....

[RedheadwGlasses]

PEllen wrote:

<quoted text>
Fat was Dog's description.
I just think that guys who complain that they can't find nice looking women in a whole age range are shallow.

Or it's all a cover to protect themselves from rejection.

[RACE]

You say that like its a bad thing!

PEllen wrote:

<quoted text>
and on ED pills and....

[Maverick 808]

L1: Boundaries, rules and limitations!

L2: Got money? Go big or go home.

[Toj]

After you know someone, a person who wasn't handsome or pretty can suddenly be more appealing (or the opposite if their personality is a bad fit). It is a matter of getting to know someone sometimes.

If you go on one date with someone and they really aren't a good physical match for you at all, the chance for a second date is probably slim to none unless you had some fantastic date.

It's a good idea to go on at least 2 dates with someone unless their personality isn't a good fit at all or you're repulsed by the look of him/her.

[j_m_w]

Toj wrote:

After you know someone, a person who wasn't handsome or pretty can suddenly be more appealing (or the opposite if their personality is a bad fit). It is a matter of getting to know someone sometimes.
If you go on one date with someone and they really aren't a good physical match for you at all, the chance for a second date is probably slim to none unless you had some fantastic date.
It's a good idea to go on at least 2 dates with someone unless their personality isn't a good fit at all or you're repulsed by the look of him/her.

I definitely agree that getting to know and like someone's personality can make them a lot more attractive.

But if you're physically repulsed by them upon first impression, the chances that you'll even go on a FIRST date are slim.

I can see friends (maybe people who hang out in a group) making this transition, but not strangers.

[Mister Tonka]

j_m_w wrote:

<quoted text>
I definitely agree that getting to know and like someone's personality can make them a lot more attractive.
But if you're physically repulsed by them upon first impression, the chances that you'll even go on a FIRST date are slim.
I can see friends (maybe people who hang out in a group) making this transition, but not strangers.

This. I would not even ask a woman out if I did not think she was attractive. I would not expect a woman to accept my invitation if she did not find me attractive. That's not to say model material, but if a person does not meet your minimum criteria for attractive appearance, the door is never going to be opened.

[Matilda77]

Heh, I just found my old camera the other day. Pics of J and I about 3 weeks after we started dating. I'm about 15 pounds lighter and he's about 40 pounds lighter. Got to get back to that, because it ain't attractive on either of us.

[Toj]

Mister Tonka wrote:

<quoted text>This. I would not even ask a woman out if I did not think she was attractive. I would not expect a woman to accept my invitation if she did not find me attractive. That's not to say model material, but if a person does not meet your minimum criteria for attractive appearance, the door is never going to be opened.

I was thinking in more terms of blind dates and/or online dates when someone isn't attractive to you -- a situation where you really didn't know exactly what they looked like. People's pictures can be misleading both ways -- some never take a good picture even though it's recent and they ARE good looking and some people put up a picture from 10 years ago and now they've gone downhill. Hey, it happens.

As for someone becoming more attractive as time goes on, it would be someone you run into once in awhile and get to know or a friend of a friend. Something like that.

[RedheadwGlasses]

Matilda77 wrote:

Heh, I just found my old camera the other day. Pics of J and I about 3 weeks after we started dating. I'm about 15 pounds lighter and he's about 40 pounds lighter. Got to get back to that, because it ain't attractive on either of us.

I have an old camera that broke -- film inside and everything. I need to take the whole thing to the camera store nearby, because I think it contains the last photos taken of my cat Spookee before he died (fall 2001).