“reign in blood”

Since: May 09

Wilmington, IL

#1 Jan 27, 2014
DEAR ABBY: I'm a 14-year-old girl going on 15. I am half-Mexican. In the Mexican culture, a girl's 15th birthday is the year in which she becomes a woman. Most girls have a "quinceanera" party for this birthday. But these celebrations cost a lot of money -- almost as much as a wedding.

I have been debating whether or not I should have one. My mom says she would rather put the money toward my college fund. I agree with her, but I also feel like I should acknowledge my Mexican background as much as I do the Caucasian part. I don't want to pressure my parents, but I also don't want to be left out when my friends talk about their quinceaneras. What do you think?-- PARTY OR NOT IN NORTHERN CALIFORNIA

DEAR PARTY OR NOT: A quinceanera may cost almost as much as a wedding, but there are weddings for every budget. We have all heard of families who have gone into debt to finance a wedding, but I never advise readers to go into debt for something like that.

If your primary reason for wanting a quinceanera is so you won't feel left out of the conversation when friends talk about theirs, consider a small celebration with some of your girlfriends. That way your college fund won't be depleted, and you'll spend fewer years paying off student loans.

One of my friends, Fabiola, told me that some godmothers ("madrinas") help to defray the cost of a quinceanera. There can be a godmother for the cake, another for the dress, etc. But she also told me that although her mother insisted she have a quinceanera, in thinking back about it, she wishes she'd had that money for college. There are other ways to celebrate your Mexican heritage than spending a lot of money, so please give this some serious thought.

DEAR ABBY: I just learned that my unborn child is a boy. Some people tell me that it's harder to raise a baby boy, but others tell me differently. I don't know who to believe anymore. I am only five months pregnant and already feeling stressed.-- 19 AND CONFUSED

DEAR 19 AND CONFUSED: Your pregnancy and subsequent motherhood will be 100 percent easier if you stop listening to people who relish putting negative thoughts in the heads of others. If you want reliable information about raising your little boy, the person to get it from is your pediatrician.

DEAR ABBY: I saw your Christmas column in which you included a note to all your Christian readers, and frankly I found it a little rude. Not only Christian people celebrate Christmas; many of us celebrate it as a secular holiday, a time to celebrate the love and joy in our lives and our family (both blood relatives and the people we make our family).

I don't recall you wishing a Happy Hanukkah, a Blessed Ramadan or a Happy Yule to your Jewish, Muslim and Pagan readers (although I may have missed it). I'm not usually one to care about such things, but since people from all walks of life come to you for advice, it would be nice to see you reach out to all of your readers.-- HAPPY PAGAN CHICK IN DENVER

DEAR HAPPY PAGAN CHICK: You must not be a regular reader if you miss all of my holiday greetings. It has long been my practice to offer good wishes to my readers during the major holidays. This includes greetings to my Christian readers at Easter and Christmas, my Jewish readers at Yom Kippur and Hanukkah, and my Muslim readers when the fast of Ramadan is broken.

“A Programmer is not in IT!”

Since: Feb 09

Neda, stay with me!

#2 Jan 27, 2014
1 Go to Mexico and ask a real Mexican how many Pesos one of those things cost. I bet its a lot cheaper in Mexico than in the US. Celebrate your Mexican heritage the Mexican way, not the over the top American way.

2 19 and knocked up. Your question pretty much says all we need to know about you.

3 Blow it out your pie hole you godless heathen. She is so PC about wishing everyone a happy festivus its annoying.

“reign in blood”

Since: May 09

Chicago, IL

#3 Jan 27, 2014
1- Since you're half Mexican, I wonder if you'll be half pregnant by the time you're 17. But yeah, a quinceanera doesn't need to cost as much as a wedding. Have whatever celebration you can afford.

2- It doesn't really matter, he's gonna be raised by an idiot.

3- in Abby's defense, she's right.

“The two baby belly, please!”

Since: Sep 09

Evanston IL

#4 Jan 27, 2014
LW1: Save the money for college and do something small and simple for the quinceanera.

LW2: The gender of the baby has nothing to do with your stress. That comes from being completely unprepared to be a mother at 19.

LW3: I'm outraged! Abby forgot Diwali.
Cass

Claremont, CA

#5 Jan 27, 2014
LW2 - Whatever the truth is, what are you gonna do? Say it is harder to raise a boy. Ain't anything you can do about it. You've got a boy, and you are stuck with him unless you want to give him up for adoption. On second thought, please consider this latter option. It doesn't sound like you are ready to be a parent.

Toj

“Where is Everyone?”

Since: Jul 12

Location hidden

#6 Jan 27, 2014
L1: I know about quinceanera parties. I think it's ridiculous but I probably don't understand all about it. Being 14 you want what your friends have and you want to do the same things. Play up the caucasian side of you and have a sleep over with your girlfriends but with a Mexican theme. Would cost a helluva lot less.

L2: Boy or girl. Both are difficult in different ways and it's going to more difficult if you're this stressed before the baby is even here. Breathe!

L3: Let it go.
Blunt Advice

Irvington, NJ

#7 Jan 27, 2014
1. Team Race. American celebrations are over the top. I went to a sweet 15 once (thats the Puerto Rican version) and it was as elaborate as a wedding.
2. when you are 32 and your kid is 13 you will be glad he is a boy.
3. Abby forgot Ground Hog Day which is coming up this weekend.

Since: Jun 09

Saint Petersburg, FL

#8 Jan 27, 2014
Toj wrote:
L1: I know about quinceanera parties. I think it's ridiculous but I probably don't understand all about it. Being 14 you want what your friends have and you want to do the same things. Play up the caucasian side of you and have a sleep over with your girlfriends but with a Mexican theme. Would cost a helluva lot less.
L2: Boy or girl. Both are difficult in different ways and it's going to more difficult if you're this stressed before the baby is even here. Breathe!
L3: Let it go.
But if she plays up the caucasian side, she'll have to have a Sweet 16!!!
Kuuipo

Monterey, CA

#9 Jan 27, 2014
LW1: Have a party, but don't break the bank. Rent a dress and keep the guest list to however many people can comfortably fit in your home or have the party at an inexpensive venue. People throw parties without breaking the bank all of the time.

LW2: Raising kids is hard, period. You will learn as you go. I hope you have someone to help you. If not, find a doula.

LW3: Filler.

“reign in blood”

Since: May 09

Chicago, IL

#10 Jan 27, 2014
Dated a Mexican chick once and went to a quinceanera. Wasn't too extravagant, a party at a park, but it was a lot of fun. Mexicans sure can party.
Julie

Chicago, IL

#11 Jan 27, 2014
LW2: Please, please,*please* do your unborn son an immense favor and give him up for adoption to someone who is actually mature enough to be a parent <eyeroll>.
Blunt Advice

Oakland, NJ

#12 Jan 27, 2014
Toj wrote:
L1: I know about quinceanera parties. I think it's ridiculous but I probably don't understand all about it. Being 14 you want what your friends have and you want to do the same things. Play up the caucasian side of you and have a sleep over with your girlfriends but with a Mexican theme. Would cost a helluva lot less.
It's like a Latin Bat Mitzvah, lol. The quincenera I went to (for daughter of Puerto Rican friends) the birthday girl had a "court" which was like a bridal party. She picked a friend to be the prince. They were introduced like a bridal party would be. And they did numerous dances which they practiced for. It was a fun and interesting event. But I could never fathom spending that kind of money for a birthday party.

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