“reign in blood”

Since: May 09

Braidwood, IL

#1 Aug 15, 2014
DEAR ABBY: My husband of 30 years had an affair a year and a half ago. We struggled through the aftermath and are trying to restart our relationship. He remained in touch with the other woman until she finally pulled the plug on him, and now he has no interest in talking with me about our relationship or how to improve it.

He is distant and refuses to say "I love you." He doesn't initiate hugs or kisses. He will initiate sex every so often, but I am usually the one who seems to need more contact.

When I question him, he tells me everything is all right and I am making a mountain out of a molehill. We have good times, but I really feel his lack of affection.

I don't want to leave this man. I love him dearly and have for many years. Should I keep waiting for the renewal or has my membership here lapsed and I'm just kidding myself?-- FROZEN OUT IN ALASKA

DEAR FROZEN OUT: Because you love him dearly and don't want to leave him, stay put. However, everything isn't all right, and you are not making a mountain out of a molehill. Your husband appears to be punishing you for something, and unless you get to the bottom of it, your relationship with him will remain icy cold.

A licensed marriage counselor may be able to help you rebuild your relationship, but it won't happen unless he is willing to try. If he isn't, then you should go without him and let the therapist help you decide if this is the way you want to live the rest of your life.

DEAR ABBY: If you will print this, it would help pharmacy technicians everywhere.

Drive-thru windows are for convenience, not speed. We are not handing out hamburgers. But if you have new insurance, questions for a pharmacist, a large order or anything out of the ordinary, please come into the store. To do otherwise is rude to the people in line behind you who will blame us because they had to wait.

You take a new insurance card to your doctor, and you should do the same at the pharmacy. We're not psychic and we don't automatically know your insurance has changed. Entering new data correctly is time-consuming, and you are not the only one who "forgot" -- so refrain from directing your impatience at us.

Don't hang onto a new prescription for weeks and present it to us in a hurry. Bring it to the pharmacy to be placed in your file, then call a day ahead to say you want it filled. Call in advance for maintenance drugs, too. That way, you won't have to wait for your medication.

Do not panic about holidays, weekends or weather. WE ARE OPEN. We will need the prescription number or name to fill it correctly.

Pay close attention to the number of refills and the expiration dates on each vial. If you are out of refills, obviously we can't fill it without a new prescription from your doctor.

Abby, we start early, stay late and skip breaks to help the sick. Common sense and accountability are needed. We are here to help patients efficiently and courteously. Please remind your readers that pharmacy employees deserve the same in return.-- STRESSED TECH IN PENNSYLVANIA

DEAR STRESSED TECH: My hat is off to you and I'm glad to help. Your suggestions are sensible. Customer service is one of the hardest jobs in the world, and working with people who are sick, hungry or stressed can make it even more difficult.

Readers, losing one's temper and being rude will not improve service, and may impede it. I have found that the process of picking up and dropping off prescriptions goes more smoothly if it's done at other than peak hours.

“reign in blood”

Since: May 09

United States

#2 Aug 15, 2014
1- he doesn't live you anymore

2- screw you. Anyone who works with the public can whine to Abby with a list of gripes

“Where is Tonka?”

Since: Feb 09

Neda, stay with me! Charlie

#3 Aug 15, 2014
1 Yup, shrink time.

2 Dear flabby, I work in a hamburger joint and would like to remind the public that drive thru's are for speed not accuracy. If you leave the window, you are legally acknowledging that your order is accurate and to your specifications. If you later find out you got coffee instead of tea or that your burger is missing ketchup, please dont even bother coming back. You wont get a new coffee of burger, but you are welcome to purchase them. I know that everyone expects precision and feel disappointed when they only get 62 french fries instead of the 65 advertised, but I only make $9.00 and hour. If you want to be assured you get your full 65, and an extra ketchup package, support my petition to raise my wage to $15.00 an hour.

Since: Aug 08

Location hidden

#4 Aug 15, 2014
LW1: He doesnít care for you anymore.

I donít think a therapist can make him love you if he doesnít.

I also canít believe you let him stay in touch with her until she pulled the plug.

LW2: Shup

“...,to wit”

Since: Jun 09

Location hidden

#5 Aug 15, 2014
1. He is grieving her loss and in his grief he is blaming you. Irrational? Sure, but grief abates.

Wait it out. You won.

This is what victory tastes like.
Cass

Rancho Cucamonga, CA

#6 Aug 15, 2014
PEllen wrote:
This is what victory tastes like.
I don't think LW likes the taste. It seems bitter, and the victory appears to be Pyrrhic.

Sometimes, when a partner cheats, there is no recovery from it.

“What's it to ya?”

Since: Mar 09

Location hidden

#7 Aug 15, 2014
1: You are a doormat.

2: STFU
Judge Janie

Eagle Butte, SD

#8 Aug 15, 2014
PEllen wrote:
1. He is grieving her loss and in his grief he is blaming you. Irrational? Sure, but grief abates.
Wait it out. You won.
This is what victory tastes like.
Yeah, but what did she "win", really? A cheating jerk who treats her like gum stuck to his shoe, who's probably angry that she didn't just "step aside" so he could be with his ho, a jerk who openly pines for a skank who thought nothing of messing around with a married man? No thank you. If hubby ever pulled that shyte, he'd find his crap packed up and waiting for him at the door.
Judge Janie

Eagle Butte, SD

#9 Aug 15, 2014
RACE wrote:
2 Dear flabby, I work in a hamburger joint and would like to remind the public that drive thru's are for speed not accuracy. If you leave the window, you are legally acknowledging that your order is accurate and to your specifications. If you later find out you got coffee instead of tea or that your burger is missing ketchup, please dont even bother coming back. You wont get a new coffee of burger, but you are welcome to purchase them. I know that everyone expects precision and feel disappointed when they only get 62 french fries instead of the 65 advertised, but I only make $9.00 and hour. If you want to be assured you get your full 65, and an extra ketchup package, support my petition to raise my wage to $15.00 an hour.
You owe me a new keyboard! Good to see you're in your usual fine form this morning.

Toj

“Where is Everyone?”

Since: Jul 12

Location hidden

#10 Aug 15, 2014
L1: I'm with Mimi.

L2: There's enough in the news about the wrong prescription being given to a person. Wrong pills, wrong dosage. I've read many times the importance of double checking your medication from the pharmacist b/c of incorect dispensing by pharmacies.

Just sayin'.

"...every day, the typical pharmacist fills two new prescriptions incorrectly, in one or more ways. These two daily errors most often involve giving the wrong instructions for use but may also include dispensing the wrong drug, wrong strength, or wrong quantity (such that the patient may run out of medication or have extra doses)."

Link: http://www.medscape.com/viewarticle/451962_6

Enough said.

“Where is Tonka?”

Since: Feb 09

Neda, stay with me! Charlie

#11 Aug 15, 2014
TYVM!
Judge Janie wrote:
<quoted text>
You owe me a new keyboard! Good to see you're in your usual fine form this morning.

“reign in blood”

Since: May 09

United States

#12 Aug 15, 2014
Judge Janie wrote:
<quoted text>
Yeah, but what did she "win", really? A cheating jerk who treats her like gum stuck to his shoe, who's probably angry that she didn't just "step aside" so he could be with his ho, a jerk who openly pines for a skank who thought nothing of messing around with a married man? No thank you. If hubby ever pulled that shyte, he'd find his crap packed up and waiting for him at the door.
I'm mildly aroused

Since: Aug 08

Location hidden

#13 Aug 15, 2014
edogxxx wrote:
<quoted text>
I'm mildly aroused
Go back and reread it, then. She didn't mention anything about chucking a chair at him.

Toj

“Where is Everyone?”

Since: Jul 12

Location hidden

#14 Aug 15, 2014
Sublime1 wrote:
<quoted text>
Go back and reread it, then. She didn't mention anything about chucking a chair at him.
I want to point out he side "mildly aroused" not full on horny dog.

Since: Aug 08

Location hidden

#15 Aug 15, 2014
Toj wrote:
<quoted text>
I want to point out he side "mildly aroused" not full on horny dog.
Heh, heh
Pippa

Hancock, NY

#16 Aug 16, 2014
1: Your husband never stopped the affair. He just pretended to so you wouldn't divorce him and cost him half his assets. He wanted his cake and eat it too. But his ladyfriend finally woke up and realized he wasn't about to divorce him and marry her; so she found someone else and dumped him. Now he's mad. Maybe he thinks you called her and scared her off and now he's punishing you. Now it's time for you to wake up. Go see a counselor if you must, but you should find a good divorce attorney as well - just in case you come to your senses.

2: Don't say you're open every day including holidays unless you know EVERY pharmacy in the country and are an expert on their policies. From my perspective, the drive-thru on a pharmacy would be the greatest benefit to a parent with a car full of kids some or all of which might be sick. Try getting a bunch of sick kids or an infant out of a car and across a parking lot during a rain storm or having to decide whether to leave them alone in the car while you run inside to get a prescription filled. From my perspective, I'd go through the drive through even with a new insurance card as well as new prescription or refill. I'd just leave them off though and either take the kids home or wait in the parking lot with them and then go through the drive through again after the recommended wait time. I would not expect a lengthy transaction to be done while waiting at the window. I'd expect the person at the window to hand the card and prescription to another person inside the pharmacy to deal with that while he waited on more customers waiting in the queue.

“Where is Tonka?”

Since: Feb 09

Neda, stay with me! Charlie

#17 Aug 16, 2014
So, itx all his fault right? She was just a shining armor of seritude? Sorry, but as has been pointed out.... these things dont happen in a vacuum. She has her reasons, and so does he.
let the trych be told
Pippa wrote:
1: Your husband never stopped the affair. He just pretended to so you wouldn't divorce him and cost him half his assets. He wanted his cake and eat it too. But his ladyfriend finally woke up and realized he wasn't about to divorce him and marry her; so she found someone else and dumped him. Now he's mad. Maybe he thinks you called her and scared her off and now he's punishing you. Now it's time for you to wake up. Go see a counselor if you must, but you should find a good divorce attorney as well - just in case you come to your senses.
2: Don't say you're open every day including holidays unless you know EVERY pharmacy in the country and are an expert on their policies. From my perspective, the drive-thru on a pharmacy would be the greatest benefit to a parent with a car full of kids some or all of which might be sick. Try getting a bunch of sick kids or an infant out of a car and across a parking lot during a rain storm or having to decide whether to leave them alone in the car while you run inside to get a prescription filled. From my perspective, I'd go through the drive through even with a new insurance card as well as new prescription or refill. I'd just leave them off though and either take the kids home or wait in the parking lot with them and then go through the drive through again after the recommended wait time. I would not expect a lengthy transaction to be done while waiting at the window. I'd expect the person at the window to hand the card and prescription to another person inside the pharmacy to deal with that while he waited on more customers waiting in the queue.
Pippa

Hancock, NY

#18 Aug 21, 2014
RACE wrote:
So, itx all his fault right? She was just a shining armor of seritude? Sorry, but as has been pointed out.... these things dont happen in a vacuum. She has her reasons, and so does he.
let the trych be told
<quoted text>
I was not commenting on the overall problems in the marriage. I agree that the wife probably had faults that contributed to the situation. We only heard from her and it is not likely that she would own up to her own faults. People do sometimes admit to the wrong things they did that led to their current problem but this woman didn't. Still, I do think he had continued the affair regardless of what he told his wife (she does say he kept in touch with the other woman) and the gf finally came to her senses and dropped him. That could account for his behavior toward his wife. As Abby suggested a marriage counselor might help them but they both need to want to make the marriage work and would be willing to do their part. It's up to BOTH of them to do their part and counseling is just a step to help them see what they each need to do.
Kuuipo

Salinas, CA

#19 Aug 21, 2014
RACE wrote:
So, itx all his fault right? She was just a shining armor of seritude? Sorry, but as has been pointed out.... these things dont happen in a vacuum. She has her reasons, and so does he.
let the trych be told
<quoted text>
You don't fix your marital problems by cheating. All he did was hurt his wife, the other woman, and ultimately himself.

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