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1 - 17 of 17 Comments Last updated May 16, 2014

“reign in blood”

Since: May 09

Wilmington, IL

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#1
May 16, 2014
 
DEAR ABBY: When my husband and I go to visit my mother (in another city) every other month or so, my brother and his wife insist on coming over to see us while we're there. Our visits usually last two or three days.

Many times when they come over, my sister-in-law will start doing her exercise routine, including floor exercises, which are, in my husband's and my opinion, unbecoming and inappropriate to do in front of other people.

How do we deal with this? Are we crazy to feel awkward when she's lying on her back doing these pelvic thrusts? Would it be out of line to ask her NOT to do this in the future?

My brother says, "She won't listen to me, so it wouldn't do any good to talk to her," so we know talking to her won't help. What do you suggest?-- FEELING AWKWARD

DEAR FEELING AWKWARD: Here's how I'd handle it. Talk to her anyway, and ask her to please refrain from doing these exercises in your presence because it makes you uncomfortable. But if that doesn't work and she starts "performing," stand up and say, "Hey, folks. Let's go out for a walk (or coffee, or a sandwich)," and put an end to her bid for attention that way.

DEAR ABBY: My boyfriend will have "scheduled" sex with me -- only after he has had his shower in the evening or in the morning. Every once in a while I get lucky and am able to stop by after work and have a quickie. It's driving me crazy.

I have tried many ways to get him to have sex spontaneously, but he won't budge. It's starting to be a turn-off because it's not the "right time." What do I do?-- LOOSER THAN THAT IN DETROIT

DEAR LOOSER: Your boyfriend may have a touch of OCD, or need to feel "in control" when he has sex. In other words, if the encounter is not his idea and at the time he chooses, he doesn't get turned on.

There's help for him if he's willing to admit there "may" be a problem. But if he isn't, then find yourself another fella because nothing is likely to change.

DEAR ABBY: My sister-in-law is being married in September. I am in the wedding. My wife and I are having a baby in June, but the bride does not want to include my new baby. I think she is concerned people will pay attention to the baby and not her.

Many distant relatives will attend and this may be the only time they will see my son. She plans to invite more than 200 people. Am I right to be upset that my son, her nephew, is not invited?-- JOHN DOE IN PLANO, TEXAS

DEAR JOHN DOE: I don't think so. It's the bride's day, and you should abide by her wishes without complaining. If she prefers not to have her wedding disrupted by an infant who needs feeding or changing, it's her choice.

Because you want to show off your new baby, bring along pictures and pass them around. I'm sure the relatives will be thrilled to see them.

“reign in blood”

Since: May 09

United States

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#2
May 16, 2014
 
3- aw hells no! Bring the baby anyway

“I Am Mine”

Since: Dec 08

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#3
May 16, 2014
 
Lw1: make fun of her while she's thrusting

Lw2: why's it gotta be about control? Maybe he's just real uncomfortable doin the nasty while he's all funky & nasty

Lw3: so who does sil expect to watch your 3 month old baby while you attend the wedding? I assume all the relatives you would have asked will be at the wedding. And even if you are typically a parent ok with non-familial baby sitters...3 months is probably too soon. If it were me, sil would have to choose. We bring baby or you find a replacement for me in the wedding.

“A Programmer is not in IT!”

Since: Feb 09

Neda, stay with me!

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#4
May 16, 2014
 

Judged:

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2

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1 Start tossing $1 bills on her. Or just ignore her, cause she can do whatever the heck she wants to do.

2 (Sigh), Yeah abby its all the Males fault, It's all about his need to "Control". No possibility the chick is a nympho and will screw in a Denny's. How about you just suggest she starts turning tricks, and put her lusts to a profitable framework?

3 I would rather see a 3month old at a wedding than a 7yr old. At least the infant will be supervised. Receptions are about Families right? Well if you can include your drunk uncle, you can include an infant.

Since: Mar 09

West Palm Beach, FL

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#5
May 16, 2014
 
L1: This is both weird and boring at the same time.

L2: So he only wants to get it on when he's clean. I fail to see a problem.

L3: On one hand, the B&G can invite/include whoever they want or don't want, it's their wedding. On the other hand, practicality puts the LW in the position Tonka outlined. And finally, I agree with Race: I'd rather see a 3-month-old than a 7-year-old at a wedding. However, whoever is taking care of the baby will have to leave the room a lot, and not just if the baby is fussy. The wedding reception I was at last weekend was LOUD (music) and I think it would be bad for a young baby's hearing. Right?

“...,to wit”

Since: Jun 09

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#6
May 16, 2014
 

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L1. You are going about this all wrong. Get your smart phone out. Run a video of her doing these from the least advantageous angle , hopefully with family in the background with reaction faces (think of the Springtime for Hitler scene in The Producers;its the reaction shot that makes it absurd) and post it on YouTube.

L2 So he only likes doing it when he's clean? Big deal. Oh wait, that's what JMW said.

L3 The world will not revolve around your little guy. It also is not a real good idea to expose that young an infant to the masses of people.
If this is an issue for you, ask the out of towners over to your house for brunch eh day after the wedding to meet the baby. Everyone else will see him eventually.
not a ghost

San Antonio, TX

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#7
May 16, 2014
 

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Is LW1 real? I doubt it.

Is LW2 real? probably not.

LW3 might be real. Stand up LW3. You seem to be telling the truth.

“I Am Mine”

Since: Dec 08

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#8
May 16, 2014
 

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PEllen wrote:
L3 The world will not revolve around your little guy. It also is not a real good idea to expose that young an infant to the masses of people.
If this is an issue for you, ask the out of towners over to your house for brunch eh day after the wedding to meet the baby. Everyone else will see him eventually.
So who's going to babysit their 3 month old?

“The two baby belly, please!”

Since: Sep 09

Evanston IL

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#9
May 16, 2014
 
LW1: I would ask her one time to please not do that in front of you and if she goes ahead and does it anyway, then get up and leave the room. Repeat as necessary.

LW2: Like jmw, I too fail to see a problem. I bet he thinks he's being considerate.

LW3: Personally, I would not leave my 3 month old in the care of someone who is a non-family member, which it will have to be in this case. But I nursed and I would not have been able to get through the whole wedding ordeal without nursing or pumping. So if the nursing situation applies to you, my advice is to bow out now.

“...,to wit”

Since: Jun 09

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#10
May 16, 2014
 
Mister Tonka wrote:
<quoted text>So who's going to babysit their 3 month old?
You want a catalog?

When my eldest was born I went back to work very quickly. My child care arrangement fell thru in a scary manner ( baby sitter was using adhesive tape to keep pacifier in her mouth).
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For about 2 weeks these people watched my 8 week old until the slot at the day care center opened up.

1. Lady across the street who was a grandmother of young kids.

2. A college girl I got by calling a nearby university with an early childhood education department

3. The woman who watched the nursery at church during Sunday services.

Since: Dec 07

DuPage County

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#11
May 16, 2014
 

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1. The guy has BO or an advanced case of dingleberries for Pete's sake! Let him freshen up!

2. Sit in the same room and make farting noises to coincide with her moves.

3. Is it your wedding? No? Then you get to mandate nothing.

“...,to wit”

Since: Jun 09

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#12
May 16, 2014
 
Saluki Rod wrote:
1. The guy has BO or an advanced case of dingleberries for Pete's sake! Let him freshen up!
2. Sit in the same room and make farting noises to coincide with her moves.
3. Is it your wedding? No? Then you get to mandate nothing.
I think you got the 1st and 2nd questions flipped but I kinda like the answers your way

Pelvic hip thrusts at family gatherings?- BO or dingleberries
Showers before scr*wing? Fart at him.

I like it. You may be on to something, Kraemer
Kuuipo

Seaside, CA

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#13
May 16, 2014
 

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LW1: Team PEllen. LOL.

LW2: I'm with everyone who observed that boyfriend likes to be clean. That's a good thing, right?

LW3: Team PEllen again, she has the hard-won experience here. Or, the parents can take turns watching the baby while the other attends the ceremony and reception, if they really can't miss the wedding.
blunt advice

Hoboken, NJ

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#14
May 16, 2014
 

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1. Race nailed it. Make fun of her.
2. This guy is not your soul mate. Find a guy who is.
3. People don't invite kids to weddings because kids are disruptive and don't eat the expensive food they are charged for. You can't allow one guest to bring their kids but not others. If this is your inlaws wedding get someone from your family to babysit.

Since: Mar 09

Pittsburgh, PA

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#15
May 16, 2014
 

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squishymama wrote:
LW3: Personally, I would not leave my 3 month old in the care of someone who is a non-family member, which it will have to be in this case. But I nursed and I would not have been able to get through the whole wedding ordeal without nursing or pumping. So if the nursing situation applies to you, my advice is to bow out now.
LW3 is the DAD, not the Mom. So, he probably won't be nursing!

That said, since he's in the wedding party, his wife needs to be included too, even if she's a guest -- and SHE may very well need to nurse. Since LW refers to the bride as his sister-in-law, I'm trying to figure out the dynamics here. She has to be his wife's sister (if she were his brother's wife, she couldn't very well be getting married!) How come LW's wife (the bride's sister!) isn't in the wedding? Of course it's possible that LW3 and the groom have been friends forever (heck, maybe he even introduced them) but it's still odd that he's in the wedding party and doesn't mention his wife also being in it.

“I Am Mine”

Since: Dec 08

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#16
May 16, 2014
 
blunt advice wrote:
If thiis is your inlaws wedding get someone from your family to babysit.
Who says anyone from his side lives nearby? I live 4 hours from my parents. 2 hours from my inlaws

“The two baby belly, please!”

Since: Sep 09

Evanston IL

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#17
May 16, 2014
 
VAdame wrote:
<quoted text>
LW3 is the DAD, not the Mom. So, he probably won't be nursing!
That said, since he's in the wedding party, his wife needs to be included too, even if she's a guest -- and SHE may very well need to nurse. Since LW refers to the bride as his sister-in-law, I'm trying to figure out the dynamics here. She has to be his wife's sister (if she were his brother's wife, she couldn't very well be getting married!) How come LW's wife (the bride's sister!) isn't in the wedding? Of course it's possible that LW3 and the groom have been friends forever (heck, maybe he even introduced them) but it's still odd that he's in the wedding party and doesn't mention his wife also being in it.
HA! Total reading comprehension fail on my part.

In my defense, I was at work and in a hurry.

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