Comments
1 - 16 of 16 Comments Last updated Oct 10, 2013

“reign in blood”

Since: May 09

Wilmington, IL

#1 Oct 9, 2013
DEAR ABBY: My daughter-in-law had an affair with a co-worker and is now pregnant by him. She swears she loves my son and won't leave him, but insists that her lover be a part of the baby's life. My son is torn. They have two small children and he doesn't want to break up the family. How can he continue to trust her?

My husband refuses to have her in our house. She can be vindictive to those she feels have "wronged" her, and I'm afraid she'll keep us from the grandchildren. My son used to go to church before she came along, but they no longer go. We sought legal advice for him and he knows the score in that regard. Abby, how can we make him see this woman is no good for him?-- HEAVY-HEARTED MOTHER IN GEORGIA

DEAR MOTHER: If I were you, I'd stop trying. Your son has made his choice, which is to keep his family together. If that means accepting that his wife will maintain a relationship with her lover and, in essence, her baby will have "two daddies," that's the way it's going to be. While I understand your husband's anger, as long as your son is willing to tolerate the situation, there is nothing to be gained by banning your daughter-in-law from the premises.

Because you mentioned church, pray for the strength to support your son through this because he's going to need it. I'm sure he is fully aware that his wife isn't "good" for him, but he's trying to take the high road anyway. So try to be supportive.

DEAR ABBY: I met a woman who seems to be everything I have been looking for. We have similar interests and share many of the same goals.

My problem is I'm only 5 foot 9 and she's 6 feet tall. Am I foolish for feeling like less of a man when in her company? What will people think?-- NOT SO TALL IN NEW JERSEY

DEAR NOT SO TALL: If you would allow a 3-inch difference in height to keep you from pursuing a woman who "seems to be everything you're looking for," then you are foolish.

Being taller than a woman doesn't make a man more manly. What makes a man manly is his level of self-confidence, which you appear to lack. Until you understand and accept that what other people think is their problem, I'm not sure you'll find the happiness you're looking for.

DEAR ABBY: I'm a 15-year-old girl who's involved with social media. My parents have always been protective. A few days ago they asked me for the passwords to my Twitter, Facebook and email accounts. I understand they're trying to protect me, but the fact that they don't trust me by now is upsetting.

I tried telling them this, and they say they do trust me, but they still want my passwords. Is this a contradiction? I need some independence, and they don't seem to understand that.-- LOSING MY MIND IN TACOMA, WASH.

DEAR LOSING YOUR MIND: It's not a contradiction if you read some of the news coverage on the Internet about young people who have committed suicide because they were hounded by cyber-bullies. It's not a contradiction if you consider that sometimes bad things happen at parties that aren't properly supervised. If, God forbid, you should "disappear," your parents -- and the police -- would want to know who had been communicating with you and what was said.

Please do not overreact to their concern. While it would have been better if they had given you a reason for their request, I doubt they'll be reading over your shoulder. Most parents don't spend a lot of time doing that unless they have some reason to mistrust their teenager.

“reign in blood”

Since: May 09

Wilmington, IL

#2 Oct 9, 2013
3- So did you give them your passwords or write Abby first? You don't make the rules, kid.

“A Programmer is not in IT!”

Since: Feb 09

Neda, stay with me!

#3 Oct 9, 2013
1 Holy Helicopter! Mom, BTFOut of his life. He married a woman just like you! First you carried his balls, now his wife does. Are you sure the other kids are even his? I blame the parents for raising such a wimpy son.

2 Your a moron, Guys get jealous when they see a tall chick with a shorter guy, they cant see the attraction and it drives them nuts. I always chuckled when I would read those match profiles where the chick would insist the guy be at least 6' tall (cause she Loves her heels). Such vanity!

3 Give them the passwords in a sealed envelope. The BS about the cops is not a reason, and they can either hack or get the company to unlock your account.

“The two baby belly, please!”

Since: Sep 09

Evanston IL

#4 Oct 9, 2013
LW1: Since your son has made up his mind about this, the real question is how are you going to treat this baby? I'm guessing from your judgmental attitude, not very well.

And wtf does going to church have to do with this? Just had to throw that in there to make yourself look better?

LW2: You're an idiot if you think this matters.

LW3: Can't they just friend/follow you and glean all them might need to know from that?

And it's most likely not you they don't trust. It's those damn boys!

Since: Aug 08

Location hidden

#5 Oct 9, 2013
LW1: He replaced an overbearing mother with a wife who treats him like crap, and he just takes it like a doormat.

LW2: LMAO. It isnít how tall you are Ö itís how much a$s you can kick. If you had confidence (and you obviously donít) and know you can handle yourself, you wouldnít feel like less of a man. If you can smack the fí out of a guy who is taller than you, he isnít more manly than you Ö he knows it too, and if you have confidence he knows youíd be more than happy to show it if he steps out of line.

Have some swagga and you could have an amazon woman on your arm and still be da man.

LW3: OMG Becky!

Since: Jun 09

Saint Petersburg, FL

#6 Oct 9, 2013
LW3: Do you pay for the internet service. Do you pay for/did you buy all your devices? I didn't think so. They get to have your passwords.

Unless you've done soemthing to violate their trust, I am sure it's because they are worried about everyone else.
Kuuipo

Monterey, CA

#7 Oct 9, 2013
LW1: Butt out. I know you are disappointed, but this is not your mess to sort out.

LW2: You need to not care what other people think. The height difference is irrelevant.

LW3: Team Race.

Toj

“Equality”

Since: Jul 12

Location hidden

#8 Oct 9, 2013
L1: Butt out. This woman is something!

L2: Height doesn't matter as much horizontal.

L3: As an adult, I get your parents wanting the passwords. When I was a 15 year old, I wouldn't have wanted to give the passwords to my parents (although we didn't have computers way back then). Cough it up. You really don't have a choice. Besides, you balk too much then they will look even more carefully. Plus, there are apps to figure out passwords as they do own the computer you know (most likely).
not a ghost

San Antonio, TX

#9 Oct 9, 2013
About all LW1 can do is be there for her son--if he
even wants her help.

LW2's girlfriend probably likes him just as he is--and isn't that all that matters.

LW3 will soon grow up.
Cass

Claremont, CA

#10 Oct 9, 2013
squishymama wrote:
LW1: Since your son has made up his mind about this, the real question is how are you going to treat this baby? I'm guessing from your judgmental attitude, not very well.
And wtf does going to church have to do with this? Just had to throw that in there to make yourself look better?
I bet it will be, "My two darling grandbabies and the b-stard spawn of Satan are coming over for dinner this Sunday."

“I Am Mine”

Since: Dec 08

Location hidden

#11 Oct 9, 2013
Cass wrote:
<quoted text>
I bet it will be, "My two darling grandbabies and the b-stard spawn of Satan are coming over for dinner this Sunday."
this

“I Am Mine”

Since: Dec 08

Location hidden

#12 Oct 9, 2013
lw2 : "My problem is I'm only 5 foot 9 and she's 6 feet tall."
Sounds awesome to me. Who doesn't want an amazon?

“I Am Mine”

Since: Dec 08

Location hidden

#13 Oct 9, 2013
Stina & Squishy:

Lw3:

Squishy - Just following them does not give them access to direct/private messages. Isn't that where any nefarious deeds that need to be monitored take place.

Stina - by getting the passwords, would private messages be fair game to you? Is their privacy not a concern? And if not, at what point will they have earned their privacy.

Since: Jun 09

Saint Petersburg, FL

#14 Oct 10, 2013
Mister Tonka wrote:
Stina & Squishy:
Lw3:
Squishy - Just following them does not give them access to direct/private messages. Isn't that where any nefarious deeds that need to be monitored take place.
Stina - by getting the passwords, would private messages be fair game to you? Is their privacy not a concern? And if not, at what point will they have earned their privacy.
No, they wouldn't be (for me), unless I had a reason to suspect soemthing is up and that I have a reason to believe she is being dishonest with me. But I wouldn't go reading private messages without a valid concern. And I am not the typ e to make up some reason that I am concerned just to justify seeing them.:-) I am all for my kid having privacy unless she demonstrates that she can't be trusted.

“The two baby belly, please!”

Since: Sep 09

Evanston IL

#15 Oct 10, 2013
Mister Tonka wrote:
Stina & Squishy:
Lw3:
Squishy - Just following them does not give them access to direct/private messages. Isn't that where any nefarious deeds that need to be monitored take place.
Stina - by getting the passwords, would private messages be fair game to you? Is their privacy not a concern? And if not, at what point will they have earned their privacy.
But following them could show things like what happened in Sturbenville or if they're being bullied online. I don't really want to read their emails and such without cause, so unless they give me some reason to distrust them, following/friending is what I'll try first.

And really, this is probably moot in my case. By the time my girls are old enough to have a smartphone, FB and twitter will probably have gone the way of the dinosaurs.

Since: Jun 09

Saint Petersburg, FL

#16 Oct 10, 2013
squishymama wrote:
<quoted text>
But following them could show things like what happened in Sturbenville or if they're being bullied online. I don't really want to read their emails and such without cause, so unless they give me some reason to distrust them, following/friending is what I'll try first.
And really, this is probably moot in my case. By the time my girls are old enough to have a smartphone, FB and twitter will probably have gone the way of the dinosaurs.
I get my daugher's passwords already. She plays Animal Jam (a kids game) and I have her login and password. I also have it to her e-mail (which she doesn't really use) and her iPod. She knows if she changes it she has to tell me. Not that I NEED it. I jsut wanted her to be in the habit of giving them to me while she's young so it's not as big a deal when she's older.

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